All Because of Walmart
by JMFanficQueen
Summary: As I sat there on the couch, staring at the doctor, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. He was in for a couple of long and stressful weeks. That's what happens when vampires go to therapy.
1. 100 Boxes of Cereal and 200 Tomatoes

All Because of Walmart

_By: JMFanficQueen_

Preface:

As I sat there on the couch, staring at the doctor, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. He was in for a couple of long and stressful weeks. That's what happens when vampires go to therapy.

**(For all my old-timers, you can skip the chapters 1and 2 and go straight to chapter 3. To everyone else . . . read on and enjoy!)**

Chapter 1:

100 Hundred Boxes of Cereal and 200 Tomatoes

It was another regular day in the Cullen household. Emmett and Jasper were some game on the plasma. Alice and Rose were shopping online and I was lying on the couch with Edward. Esme and Carlisle were out on a trip and weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow.

"I'm bored" Emmett said suddenly as he turned off the TV.

"We should go shopping" Alice sang.

"Shopping! I almost forgot! I have to go grocery shopping" I said as I got up.

"SUPER WALMART!!" Emmett yelled suddenly and everyone cheered in response except Edward.

"No!!" he groaned.

"Umm . . . what's wrong with Super Walmart?" I asked worriedly.

"Nothing, it's awesome!" Emmett said as he picked me up and ran me to Edward's Volvo. "Let's go!" he said excitedly as everyone else slid in.

"Ugh, Bella, you're going to regret this" Edward said as he drove off.

"Why, I mean . . . what could possibly happen Super Walmart?" I thought aloud.

When we arrived, everyone but Edward and I were nearly bouncing out of their seats. Uhoh, something tells me this is going to be a very interesting visit

"Come on" I said as I grabbed a shopping cart and headed inside.

The second I got inside, I turned.

"So—" but I stopped short when I saw I was alone.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Edward, he answered on the first ring.

"Where are you?" I asked as I walked.

"Alice has me, I'm sorry love. Call me when you're done" he said and the line cut off.

"Oh well, looks like I'll shop alone" I said.

I walked towards the grocery section and saw a big sign announcing **The Biggest Antique Sale in Wal-Mart History **near the West wing.

"I'll have to get Esme something" I thought aloud as I went through the aisles.

I bought bread, milk, cheese, chicken, some spices, cereal, pop tarts, eggs and other stuff. It took a while because there was this old lady in front of me in the line at the meat section who couldn't decide between 2 pounds or 2.25 pounds of ham and there was only one servant. After I finally got the ham, I headed towards the produce section.

Everything was going fine until I hit the vegetable area. I was grabbing some tomatoes and didn't notice the puddle of water on the floor. I mean, technically, it should've had a **Caution, Wet Surface** sign but no. So I, clumsy Bella, walked straight into the puddle and slipped.

"Whoa!" I said as I grabbed onto the cart.

The stupid cart tipped and started falling with me! I grabbed to the side but only caught onto the flap that kept the tomatoes from falling. The stupid thing came right off and all the tomatoes came falling out! I fell on my but in the puddle, the floor was hard!!

The eggs were all over my legs and the milk had exploded and was all over my shirt. I had tomato juice in my hair and my pants were soaked. When everything had finally come out of the cart, the stupid thing exploded forward and slammed into the cereal aisle, knocking down a bunch of boxes. The people around the cereal area screamed like little girls, even the guys and one guy even ran off yelling about possessed cart.

I began to wipe the eggs and milk off. I figured it was useless so I tried to get up but only slipped again. Wal-Mart personnel came rushing in from all directions. Some went to the cereal area. Other grabbed the cart and some came to me.

"Come with me ma'am" said one of the personnel.

"Thank you, I need to change, my pants and just about everything is soaked" I said as I grabbed onto his arm and pulled myself up.

"Let's go ma'am" said they guy as he guided me away as soon as I got up.

"But . . . my stuff" I said as I looked back.

"Now ma'am or I will have to use force" said the personnel.

I turned to look at him funny and noticed that he had on a police uniform. Uhoh. Something tells me he isn't going to get me a new pair of clothes. He took me to the back of the store to a door with a keypad. He typed in a number and the door unlocked. He swung it open and pushed me roughly inside.

"Bella?" called my angels voice.

"Edward?" I asked adjusting to the bright light.

"Bella?!?!?!" Everyone called, surprised and slightly laughing as they saw me.

"You know her?" the officer asked.

"Yeah, we all came here together but got separated" Edward said calmly.

"Wait . . ." I said as I looked around and saw Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie in here as well. "What exactly happened?" I asked confused.

"Well" began the officer. "This guy" he said pointing to Emmett "Was dressing up in costumes and scaring kids" he said.

"I wasn't! I was just having fun. They cried by themselves. All I did was smile and sing" Emmett argued and I wondered how many men it took to get Emmett here.

"This one" he said pointing to Rose "Threatened and physically hurt a lady over a pair of earrings. The lady claims she said she would kill her and feast on her if she didn't give her the earrings" at this all our eyes widened on Rosalie. "And then flung her against the wall" he explained.

"That wasn't what happened!" Rosalie yelled. "They were handcrafted $150 earrings. The lady thought they were $5 dollars and wanted them. We grabbed them at the same time but I told her they were mine. We argued and the threat was just . . . well, just a threat when you get angry. She threatened to spray me with pepper-spray, which she _did, _by the way but I ducked out of the way just in time" Rosalie said and I just stared, frozen in shock. "Then, we were tugging and it just _slipped_ from my fingers" Rosalie said which I highly doubted that is just _slipped _"And she flew against the wall. It was totally her fault" she argued.

"And this one" he said pointing to Jasper, completely ignoring Rosalie rant. "Attacked an elderly person with a gun nearly giving him a heart attack"

"Hey, I was playing Mafia Wars III! It was a new release and came with the interactive _plastic_ gun and visual glasses which make you feel like you are actually in the game. When I turned to the guys, I saw him as an attacker on my screen so I shot him" Jasper explained.

"Shorty here" he continued, ignoring Jasper as well "Was sexually harassing women along with him" he pointed to Edward. "Who was her accomplice and was in the women's dressing room" He said and I looked at Edward incredulously but he had his head in his hands "and was found in there without pants" finished the officer.

"WHAT?!?!?!" I asked incredulously.

"You don't understand Bella, Alice was helping the women change, not inside but helping outside and she had me carrying her stuff. I couldn't see her when she came up and took my belt saying it was the perfect color. My pants dropped a bit. She stepped on the bottom as I moved back, making my pants come off and making me fall" he explained as he glared at Alice.

"But they needed help!" he told Edward and the officers. "They were combining clothes terribly!" she whined.

"Okay, okay!" called the officer. "Last but not least is her" he said pointing to me. "She supposedly '_slipped_ '"he said using air quotes. "Knocking down 100 hundred boxes of cereal, 200 tomatoes, milk, eggs and much other merchandise that cannot be replaced" explained the officer and everyone broke out into laughter.

* * *

**Hey Guys! It's great to be writting for you guys again! =p.**

** For all you that have just tuned in and haven't read my story : The Valentine's Day Dare Hunt I suggest you do. It's very comical (Just check out the reviews) and it's a prequel to this story . . . or this is a sequel to that . . . anyway, you should read i t but if you don't, it's fine because it's a sequel but not really . . . it's independent to the other story . . . sort of. I'm confused. . . =p just read on and enjoy.**

**For all my old-timers, you can skip the next chapter as well and go straight to chapter 3.**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	2. We've Got a Little Problem

(**For all my old-timers, you can skip this chapter as well and go straight to chapter 3)**

Chapter 2:

We've Got a Little Problem

"Kids, where are your parents?" asked the officer.

"Away on a trip" Edward answered. "They are Esme and Dr. Cullen"

The officers froze.

"Your Dr. Cullen's kids?" they asked incredulously and all of us nodded but Alice who was frozen.

"Uhoh" she said as she turned to the computer screens which showed all the areas the cameras recorded.

We all turned to the screens and saw what she was looking at.

"Crap" we all said simultaneously.

There, on camera #4 in the West wing was Carlisle and Esme, looking through the antiques.

"I thought they were supposed to be gone another day" I said quietly.

"They came home early" Alice said as we stared horrified at the screen.

"Hey! It's Dr. Cullen and Mrs. Cullen! They must've come back for the Antique Sale, go fetch them Joe" ordered the officer.

A small intern scampered off and we watched in horror as he ran over to Carlisle and Esme and talked to them. Carlisle frowned but followed Joe to the back of the store while Esme stayed looking. When Joe opened the door for Carlisle and he saw us all in there, his eyes widened. When his eyes rested on me though, his eyes bulged and he chuckled.

"Dr. Cullen" said the officer as they shook hands. "A pleasure, let me explain this meeting" said the officer.

He replayed all our stories and once again, we interrupted during our stories. He ended with mine again.

"She supposedly '_slipped_ '"he said using air quotes. "Knocking down 100 hundred boxes of cereal, 200 tomatoes, milk, eggs and much other merchandise that cannot be replaced" explained the officer.

Carlisle chuckled. "That one officer, I can assure you 100% wasn't a hoax. Bella here has balance problems" he said with another slight chuckle.

"Okay Doctor. I know I probably won't have a problem with these kids again but its store policy that kids like this get help so I'm referring you to a psychologist for your kids. He is a very good one, his number is 123-3210" he said as he wrote down. "I would call to make an appointment, get your kids the help they need" he said as he handed it to Carlisle.

"I will officer, I _promise_" he said as he walked out with us following.

"Carlisle—" Edward began but Carlisle held up a hand.

"I shall go get Esme. Go home, I will meet you there and we shall talk" he said assertively and then left.

"Well . . ." I said after a while.

"He's upset and embarrassed and I don't think he was kidding about therapy" Edward said as we walked to the parking lot.

"What? He can't actually think we'll just spill our guts to some shrink" Rosalie said.

"No, because you have so many problems the shrink wouldn't know where to start" Edward said as he drove off.

"Shut it, you're the one with problems" she muttered in the back.

I just laid my head back as they bickered. Therapy . . . vampires in therapy? I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.

"Bella . . . Bella, wake up, we're here" Edward said as he shook me slightly.

I opened my eyes and the Cullen's house materialized in front of me.

"Oh! I fell asleep" I said as I got out slowly.

"You've had a long day" he said as we walked to the house.

Suddenly, Alice grabbed me and pulled me upstairs.

"I'll give her back in 10 minutes!" she yelled as she pulled me into the bathroom.

"Take a shower and get all that gunk off" she said and I gladly stepped into the shower.

I let the water unlock my tense muscles and washed my hair 3 times in order to get everything out. Once I was completely food-free, I turned off the water and got out. On the counter was a whole new outfit.

"Alice" I muttered as I put it on and brushed my hair.

When I left the bathroom, Alice was already there, ready to drag me to her room. This time she went simple . . . sort of, putting up my hair in a clip and then fixing how it fell.

"Good enough" she said as she let me get up.

"I still can't believe . . . would Carlisle really make you go to therapy?" I asked as we headed down.

"Umm, Bella" Alice said as she cleared her throat and motioned toward the door.

I looked and there stood Carlisle, watching us with a slight smile. I turned about 10 shades of red.

"Thanks for telling me now" I muttered as we headed to the kitchen.

The smell of chicken wafted out, making my mouth water.

"Here you go love" Edward said as he handed me a warm chicken sandwich with melted cheese on top.

He got me a cup of water and placed it on the table where everyone was sitting. I sat and began to eat silently.

Carlisle looked at us for a second before sighing.

"How did you guys end up in Super-Walmart?" he said as he sighed.

"I had to go grocery shopping and they sort of came along" I explained.

"What happened at Super-Walmart?" Esme asked.

"Well, we sort of all got arrested" I mumbled and she gasped.

And so we explained again. When we finished she reprimanded everyone but Edward and I because technically, it wasn't our fault. When we were telling her about what happened to me, she laughed delicately. Once we finished, I tried to keep back the yawn that came up but I wasn't able to.

"Come on, you must be tired, you've had a long day" Edward said as he stood up.

"I'm not—" but was interrupted by a huge yawn which totally ruined my contradiction.

"_' _Night guys!" I said as I headed upstairs knowing it was pointless to fight him and I was sort of tired.

Edward followed behind me and Alice behind him. She dropped a new pair of pajamas I had never seen in my life before heading back down.

"Alice!" I called but I just got a tinkering laugh in return.

I grumbled slightly, much to Edward's amusement, as I walked to the bathroom. I took a long shower, letting the hot water unlock my tense muscles. I washed my hair with my favorite strawberry shampoo which unsurprisingly was in their shower and then took it out slowly. Once I was done, I wrapped a towel around my body and stepped out of the shower.

I put on the clothes Alice left for me, and I had to admit, they were kind of cute. I brushed my hair and then blow dried it slightly so it wouldn't drip. I walked to Edward's room when I was done. He was lying across his huge and unnecessary bed. He looked up when I came in, his golden eyes soft and loving.

"Come here" he said for I was frozen at the door.

I put my old clothes on the floor and climbed into the bed. I snuggled against his side, breathing in his amazing scent. I fell asleep minutes later, to my lullaby being sung softly in my ear.

* * *

I woke up, curled up in Edward's arms.

"Hi" I murmured sleepily.

"Hey sleepyhead" he said as he sat up.

I smiled as I leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around me.

"How did you sleep?"

"Pretty good, how was your night?"

"Pretty good . . . except . . . we've got a little problem" he said quietly.

"What?"

"Well, Carlisle made up his mind yesterday and . . . we're all going to therapy" he said quietly and my eyes widened.

Vampires in therapy . . . that was . . . bad. I feel bad for whoever their therapist is going to be. Wow, Carlisle was really . . . wow. Wait!! He said _'__We've__ got a problem'_ And'_We're__ all going'. _That meant it also included . . . me!

Uhoh

* * *

**Hey Guys! **

** For all you that have just tuned in and haven't read my story : The Valentine's Day Dare Hunt I suggest you do. It's very comical (Just check out the reviews) and it's a prequel to this story . . . or this is a sequel to that . . . anyway, you should read i t but if you don't, it's fine because it's a sequel but not really . . . it's independent to the other story . . . sort of. I'm confused. . . =p just read on and enjoy.**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	3. Third Floor TeenageYoung Adult Therapy

Chapter 3:

Third Floor - Teenage/Young Adult Therapy

"Bella?" Edward asked worriedly as he shook me slightly.

"Umm . . . yeah?" I said as I snapped out of my day dreamish panic state.

"About the therapy, we start . . . tomorrow. Carlisle called Charlie last night and told him what happened. Charlie was laughing when Carlisle was explaining what happened. He is completely fine if you go to therapy with us . . . he actually finds it a bit comical" Edward admitted and I had to laugh.

"I feel bad for the therapist we get assigned to" I said as I got up to get ready.

Alice gave me some clothes which I put on, knowing she wouldn't let me give them back. I made my own hair, simply leaving it straight and headed down to the smell of eggs and toast.

"Mmm . . . smells good" I said as I sat down.

"really?" Edward said as he put the plate in front of me, scrunching up his nose.

"Yes, really" I said as I began to eat.

When I was done, I grabbed my stuff and waved goodbye to everyone.

"Let's go" I said to Edward who grabbed his keys.

"So, will I drive to the therapist or . . . "I thought aloud as we drove to my house

"No, I'll pick you up on the way there" he said as we arrived.

"I'll see you later" I said sadly.

"Love you" he said as he kissed me.

"Love you too" I said as I headed into my house.

"So Bella, therapy" Charlie said with a chuckle. "I always knew you were going to be seeing a lot of doctors because of your clumsiness but I never imagined a therapist" he said with another chuckle.

I just rolled my eyes and headed up to strip my bed and Charlie's. Once I finished, I started the wash and headed down to begin preparations for lunch. I made Parmesan chicken with garlic bread.

"That was good Bells" Charlie said as he pushed away his 3rd helping.

"Glad you liked it" I said as I washed off the plates and headed up to put the sheets in the dryer.

I spent most of the afternoon cleaning up the house. At night, I was lying in bed with Edward but I was anything but tired.

"Bella, relax, it's just therapy" Edward said as he massaged my neck.

"Yes but vampires in therapy . . . it just . . . sounds so ridiculous. I just can't but my mind around it" I said as I got more relax.

"It'll be fine, we've been through a lot, especially with Alice" he said as he moved down to my back.

Soon, I felt my eye lids dropping and fell asleep to a soothing massage and a beautiful song.

I woke up early the next morning to an empty bed. I was scared for a second before yesterday's events came crashing on me. Today was the first day of therapy! I got up and got dressed quickly, wanting to be ready for when Edward got here. I grabbed an over the shoulder bag and headed down, grabbing my coat on the way.

I had a quick breakfast, pop tarts and milk. Charlie was already gone, fishing I think. I had just finished brushing my teeth when a knock sent me run downstairs.

"Hey!" I said as I wrenched the door open to reveal my personal god.

"Good Morning. I'm sorry you woke up alone, we had to arrange some things" Edward said as I locked up.

"It's okay" I said as I kissed him.

We walked to his Volvo quickly, the rain soaking our hair.

"Hi Bella!" Emmett said from the back of the car making me jump and bump my head.

"Hi Emmett? What are you doing here?" I asked as I got in and put on my seatbelt.

"Well, the other car was full and Carlisle asked Edward to keep and eyes on me though I don't know why since I'm an angel" Emmett said while Edward snorted.

"Right, the exact _opposite_ of an angel" Edward said and I laughed as Emmett pouted.

We arrived at the therapist office about half an hour later. Edward and Emmett argued the whole way about being angels. Emmett finally declared he was the sex angel and Edward was the virgin angel earning a hard slap from Edward and ending the conversation.

"Here we are" Edward said as he parked next to Carlisle's car.

Everyone was already waiting for us at the entrance. The building looked a normal building with 8 floors. It was painted a brownish creamy color with wood paneling. The doors and windows were made of dark wood.

"Okay guys, I really think this will help but you have to be on your best behavior" Carlisle warned as we walked in and up to the main desk.

"Hello, we have an appointment" Carlisle said to the lady.

"Are they new?"

"Yes"

"Okay, fill these forms out for each of them" said the lady as she handed Carlisle a clipboard.

He filled them all out quickly and handed her the clipboard.

"Splendid. Here, find your floor" she told Carlisle while she fluttered her eyelashes as she handed him another clipboard.

First Floor – Administration and Patient Files

Second Floor – Young Children Therapy

Third Floor – Teenage/Young Adult Therapy

Fourth Floor – Anger Management and Obsessive Compulsion Disorder Therapy

Fifth Floor – Family therapy

Sixth Floor – Adult/Elderly Therapy

Seventh Floor – Marriage Counseling Therapy

Eighth Floor – Death and Depression Therapy

"I guess we must be the third floor" Carlisle said as he looked it over.

"What about the Fifth Floor?" I asked.

"Well . . . we don't plan on joining you guys unless we must" Carlisle informed us.

My eyes widened.

"That therapist is doomed" I murmured to Edward who laughed as we headed into the elevator and clicked the number 3.

The elevator reached its floor and we walked out slowly, looking around. The third floor was pretty small with the same paintjob as the outside of the building. There was a waiting area with many comfortable looking couches. There we're many popular teenage magazines and there was even a soda and snack machine.

"Hello, I'm dr. Cullen, my children have an appointment" Carlisle said as he walked up to the small desk.

"Ah, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. It's a pleasure. I'm Suzie" she said as she shook their hands. "Just sign in here while l inform the Doctor you're here" she said pointing to a purple clipboard as she got up and headed out another door.

She came back seconds later. "He'll be out soon" she said in a happy voice.

"Thank you" Carlisle said as he sat down on a couch with Esme.

I walked around with Edward, looking at the office.

"OH MY GOSH, NO WAY!!!" Emmett suddenly yelled as he fell to the floor laughing.

"Emmett, what is it?" Edward asked as we ran over.

I bet Australia could heard his sudden yell.

"Look at who the certificate is made to" Emmett said as he laughed so hard he was vibrating.

We all crowded around the award and looked at the name. Seconds later, we were all on the floor, laughing. I leaned against the wall for support, laughing so hard my sides hurt and tears were streaming down my face. It was just too funny.

The certificate was made out to our now current Therapist

Dr. Sheldon Mental

* * *

**Hey Guys! How are you?!?!?! Yes, I'm back and now, the Cullens are in therapy. Might be a bit shorter than the last story but its okay. So . . . what did you think? Carlisle . . . . evil little person is leaving the therapist all alone with the kids. Mwahahahahah! This is going to be fun _*evil laugh* _Hahaha! Anyway, I had an epiphany in my dream. I was tring to think of a name for the therapist and it came to me. I woke up luahgin because I was dreaming about Disney (Don't ask) and suddenly, this therapist pops up infront of me and says "Hi, I;m Dr. Shledon Mental. So you need help?" I was laughing so hard when I woke up my eyes teared. could see it now . . . a mental therpaist!**


	4. Dr Sheldon Mental

Chapter 4:

Doctor Sheldon Mental

Our therapist was named Dr. Mental! There was just no way. A therapist . . . who helps people with problems . . . is named Dr. Mental?!?! That's just plain hilarious. We were all so caught up in laughing, we didn't notice that the door opened and the doctor walked out.

"Hello, I'm Doctor—" but he cut off when he saw us all laughing.

"Children!" Carlisle called and we immediately stopped, finally realizing that our _Mental _therapist was here.

"Hello. I'm Carlisle Cullen and this is my wife Esme. I'm so very sorry for my children's' atrocious behavior" Carlisle apologized as he shook hands with the doctor.

"It's quite alright Dr. and Mrs. Cullen" he said. "Hello guys," he said turning to us now.

We had all stood up quietly while they talked. I was leaning into Edward, trying to contain my laughter at seeing this guy.

" I'm going to be your new therapist. Dr. Mental is the name" he said to us, offering his hand.

"HI! I'm Emmett!" Emmett said excitedly as he shook Cr. Metal's hand.

"Look at what he's wearing!" Alice cried softly beside me.

I took a good look at Mr. Mental. He was about 6 2' and a bit round. He had crazy brown hair with a pair of black eye glasses in front of his beady blue eyes. He wore a yellow shirt striped shirt with a polka dot tie. He had on brown pants but with a black jacket. He wore running shoes and I think I even saw a bit of yellow over the top, probably from his socks. Maybe this dude _was _crazy. We all in turn shook his hand and introduced ourselves.

"Doctor, we were wondering if we needed to stay" Carlisle asked.

"No, no Dr. Cullen. We've got it all under control here. All you have to do is pick them up" Dr. Mental answered as he waved goodbye to them.

"Behave" Carlisle murmured to us as they left.

"Okay guys, right through here" he said as he led us through the door to his office.

I looked around as we went in. It was set up like a living/library room. There were couches, sofas and a table on the left side. Then, right in front of all of them was a big chair with a wooden desk located behind it. Behind the desk was a small collection of psychology and teenage help books. It seemed like a normal psychiatric hospital.

"Take a seat, please" the doctor said, motioning to the couches as he walked to his desk.

The desk was organized with a big gold nameplate which had **Dr. Sheldon Mental **written on it. I walked over to the couch, sitting right beside Edward and grabbing his hand in mine. Alice sat with Jasper and Emmett with Rosalie, like it always is.

"Okay" said the Doctor and he shuffled over to the big chair, a clipboard in his hand. "Today, I just want us to get to know each other and maybe discuss what happened" he said. "Before we begin, there are some things you should know. Nothing that goes on in here will be known to anyone else. No one will even know you guys are here. I am here to help you, not harm you. This is a safe place to let everything out." he said.

As I sat there on the couch, staring at the doctor, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. He was in for a couple of long and stressful weeks. That's what happens when vampires go to therapy.

"Okay, my name is Doctor Sheldon Mental. I graduated from Harvard Medical School, top of my class with a degree in Psychology. I have and MD, a DO and a PhD. I have worked here for a couple years and I love my job. It brings me joy to help you guys. No matter how hard or long, I will provide all the help you need" he said and I almost smiled at the irony. "Okay, whose next" he said and everyone pointed to Edward.

"What?!?!" he said getting up.

"Oh come on Edward, everyone knows you have the most problems" Rosalie snickered.

"Right, I do? I wasn't the one that threatened to kill a lady" he said and she got up angrily.

"Well at least I wasn't _exposed_ in the opposite dressing room" Rosalie said.

"That wasn't my fault" he said as he turned to Alice.

"Hey, it's my duty as an informed fashionista to help other women in desperate need" she defended herself.

"You took my belt!" he said exasperated. "And you probably already _knew_ what would happen!"

"Oh, stop whining, it looked bad any way" Alice said and I could tell she was pushing Edward's buttons.

"Okay" the doctor said as he started to write down stuff on his clipboard.

Everyone turned to him incredulously. Edward, Alice and Rosalie were arguing and yelling, and here was the therapist just looking and writing stuff down. Maybe he is mental.

"Continue" he said we just looked at him.

He wrote down one final thing and looked up at us. Edward finally sat down angrily next to me. I rubbed the palm of his hand softly in an effort to calm him.

"Okay Edward, everyone here seems to think you have a lot of problems" the doctor said.

"I do not" Edward said stubbornly and everyone broke out into laughter.

"Right, he is so uptight and needs some serious anger management." Emmett said.

"I do not!" he objected.

"And secretive" added Jasper with a mischievous smile.

"Oh! And you better not even get a scratch on his Volvo or his Piano or he will rip your head off" Alice said with a tinkling laugh.

"And he's a total control freak!" Rosalie said and Edward growled at her softly.

"Okay, okay, everyone calm down. Edward, it seems you have been chosen by everyone except . . . " he trailed off as he turned to em.

"Umm . . . " I stammered as I blushed. "I think he's perfect, just a _tiny bit_ protective" I said softly.

"She doesn't count because she is his girlfriend" Rosalie called.

"I'm right here" I said slightly angry but she just ignored me.

"Uhuh" the doctor said as he wrote a couple more things down. "So Edward, it seems you are uptight, need anger management, are secretive, a control freak, a _tiny bit_ protective and no one can scratch your piano or Volvo without you ripping their heads off, this is according to your siblings. Is that correct?" he asked Edward.

Is this guy really a therapist? Aren't you supposed to slowly help someone release their feelings, not let their siblings get is out for them?

"Correct!" Everyone called out.

Edward grumbled angrily and I rubbed his hand again. It wouldn't be good if he got angry now.

"Edward" the doctor asked again. "I need to know what is wrong or I can't help you" he said as he walked over in front of Edward and put his hands on Edward's shoulders.

Edward's eyes widened and he tried to lean back.

"I just want to help" the doctor said.

I heard snickering behind us and I knew they were probably taking pictures of this moment. This was cruel.

"I am protective of my Volvo and my piano but I wouldn't _rip_ their heads off" he finally began and the doctor went back to his chair. "I'm not uptight, I'm civilized, unlike Emmett. I'm not a control freak though I'm protective of Bella since she has multiple near-death experiences" he said with a chuckle and I ducked my face, which was as red as an apple.

He turned and smiled at me, kissing the top off my head.

"Last but not least, I'm most definitely not the one that needs anger management the most" he said as he looked pointedly at Rosalie.

I think Rosalie just might hate Edward even more than me.

"I do not need anger manage—"

"Personally, I think it's because she's a blonde but I'm not sure" he interjected, telling the doctor.

Edward was pushing it with Rosalie. I turned to her and saw her shaking, her eyes deadly. Edward looked down and winked at me.

"I mean, she has even attacked Bella" Edward said and Rosalie lunged.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! I'm sorry! Don't kill me, I know I was late. I was jsut soo busy with so many things and my grandpa died yesterday so yeah, it was tough. Anyway, what did you think? Edward got nominated to go first. hahah, that sucks for him. Of course, then Rosalie began to push and and it back fired. Edward is good. Personally, I do not really have anything against blondes but i just had to bput that small part in. Anyway, my update next week will probably be on Saturday because I'm leaving for Disney on Friday morning and not getting back till 11pm on Saturday or on Sunday afternoon (depends) I'll try to get it up as soon as I get hom though. By the way, did anyof you guys catch Opera on Friday??? I normally don't watch it but my friend to me to so I did. the beginning was boring but at the end, I screamed!! They showed about a 2 minute preview of Eclipse that has never _ever_ been seen before. I'm sorry for all of you who missed it but it was incredible. Iwas screaming my head off like crazy. If you didn't see it, google _Eclipse preview on Oprah _and click the first link. On May something, not sure exact date, the whole cast of Twilight will be on opera and they might disclose another preview!! I can't wait until Eclipse, it's driving me crazy. So, anyway**

**Days Until Eclipse Premire: 67 Days until 'The Second Life of Bree Tanner' comes out: 41 Days until Eclipse movie companion comes out: 66**

**Save the dates.**

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**=^.^= JMFanfic Queen =^.^=**


	5. Abusive

Chapter 5

Abusive

I couldn't help the small scream that escaped my lips. I grabbed onto Edward's arm quickly and closed my eyes. I opened them when I heard Edward's soft chuckle and felt his hand on my back.

I saw Rosalie struggling in Emmett's arms, her eyes an endless pool of anger as she glared at Edward. Emmett finally whispered something in her ear and she calmed down, sitting down.

"Oh, sorry" I said as I let go of Edward's arm.

He chuckled, making my heart speed up.

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked as he lifted me up and deposited me on his lap.

"I don't know" I admitted.

He chuckled again and turned back towards the doctor.

"See doc, she would've _tried _to kill me if Emmett hadn't grabbed her" Edward said and I giggled softly.

He was definitely getting his revenge on Rosalie.

"Well, it shouldn't be new to you since you tried to kill yourself once" Rosalie spat and Edward went rigid. "Maybe it was the voices you hear in your head that pushed you towards that decision" she said.

"You know, it actually was _your_ fault I tried to kill myself!" Edward yelled at her.

The doctor was writing down things furiously during their fight.

"Okay Rosalie, because of a recent turn of events, you're next" the doctor said.

Rosalie just glared at him and he swallowed hard.

"Rosalie . . . why did you just try to attack Edward?" he asked but she just stayed quiet.

Her eyes finally fell on Alice and at seeing her smile, she growled. Alice already knew everything that was going to happen!

"Edward was insulting me by saying he thought I needed anger management and it might have something to do with me being a blonde" Rosalie said.

"Well you are and you do" I murmured quietly.

I mean, she _was_ a blonde and she _did _need some anger management. Of course, everyone except the doctor heard me. Edward chuckled, wrapping his arms around my waist. Alice was laughing along with Jasper. Rosalie one the other hand looked like she was about to murder me.

"Just you wait Swan" she said icily and a leant further back into Edward.

He growled at her and she just smiled angelically. I looked over at the doctor who was writing quickly.

"Okay, so, it seems you and Bella don't really get along" the doctor asked Rosalie.

"You could say that" I muttered and the doctor nodded.

"And there also seems to be a lot of rivalry between you and Edward" he asked Rosalie again and this time Edward just smiled.

Rosalie answered the doctor's question by glaring at Edward.

"Okay Rosalie, are there any other things you would like to tell us?" the doctor asked.

When no one said anything, Edward spoke up.

"On top of almost making me kill myself, there is this one thing that is a bit annoying. She has this . . . sex addiction with Emmett. There is not one place in the house of the school that is probably free from . . . exposure" Edward said. "They _do it_ many times daily and personally, I hate not knowing if I can safely walk into my room or know if it is even sanitary to drive my Volvo or play my piano" Edward said and I had to hold back a laugh.

"Is this true Rosalie?" the doctor asked.

Emmett ended up answering his question my whispering something in her ear and wiggling his eyebrows. The doctor nodded, writing it down.

"Okay Rosalie, you seem to have a sex addiction, and need anger management, according to your siblings, do you agree?" he asked.

She barely murmured a response and the doctor nodded.

"Okay, whose next?" the doctor asked.

"Alice" Rosalie said.

"Okay, Alice" the doctor said as he swiveled around to her. "tell us about yourself"

"I see nothing wrong with what I do" she said indignantly.

"Alice, you harass people, including us, for fashion and you have kidnapped / taken us hostage many times on your day long shopping trips. She has at least 6 a month" Edward told the doctor. "She shops just about every day though and is constantly throwing out clothes and bringing in new clothes" Edward said and Alice was glaring at her.

"But doctor, you should _see _how they dress!" she wailed.

"Umm . . . you do have a tendency to kidnap me and play Barbie on me" I murmured softly as I shuddered.

It was torture. I had to sit through hours of makeup, hair, nails and outfit changes.

"Uh . . . Barbie?" he asked.

"You know, like when she changes your clothes, makeup, shoes, bag, hair, nails ect." I explained.

"Oh, Alice, why do you kidnap Bella to play Barbie on her?" the doctor asked.

"Because she has terrible fashion sense. It _pains _me, literally" she wailed into Jasper's arms. "I mean, look how you—"

"Alice honey, don't push it" I heard Jasper whisper softly.

Jasper was right. It wouldn't be very smart for Alice to insult the doctor right now.

"Oh, and she has a tendency to threaten our most prize possessions to get what she wants" Emmett asked and Edward nodded.

I laughed softly. I could picture Alice with gasoline and a match over Edward's piano and Edward holding . . . a credit card.

"What is it love?" Edward asked.

"I'll tell you later" I murmured.

"We'll go more in depth later" the doctor told Alice as he turned to Jasper.

"Jasper, tell us about yourself" he asked.

"Umm . .. "

After a minute of surveying Jasper, the doctor spoke up.

"Jasper, you seem very . . . moody and I think you might keep your feelings bottled up many times, am right?" he asked.

"Yes, you could say that" Jasper said with a chuckle.

The doctor nodded and moved over to Emmett while he wrote stuff down.

"Okay, Mr. Emmett, what do you have to tell us?"

"Hahaha!" Emmett said as he broke out into laughter. "I got called _Mr._ Emmett! I'm bettererer" Emmett said and I just stared at him.

"Betererer? That isn't a word . . . is it?" I asked Edward.

He just shook his head with a laugh and I suddenly felt very stupid.

"Emmett, tell us more about yourself" the doctor said.

"Okay, I love having sex with Rosie here" he said as he wrapped his arms around her "I love sports and competitions . . .and bets" he said as he looked at Jasper. "And that's it" he said and I stared at him.

He wasn't serious, was he?

"Umm . . . he also acts like a total 2 year old and makes a lot of . . . annoying comments about Bella and I" Edward added.

"What type of comments?" the doctor asked and I blushed while Edward stammered.

"About our . . . personal life" Edward finally said.

"Well really, the lack of—"

"EMMETT!" Edward yelled at him.

"Okay" the doctor said as he wrote stuff down.

That was getting really annoying. We could be about to kill each other and he would just be writing stuff down. Finally, he finished and wheeled around toward Edward. Didn't he already do him? I watched his progress and only realized what he wanted when he was in front of us.

"So, last but not least, Miss Isabella" he said as he stared at me.

"Bella" I stammered. The guys was really freaking me out right now.

"Well Bella, it's your turn" he said but I just stayed quiet.

"She seems like and angel but she's evil" Rosalie said and I looked at her like she was crazy. _I_ was evil?

"No, I think her problem, beside fashion, is that she lets Edward push her around too much" Alice said.

"Edward, are you abusive?" the doctor asked seriously and I fell onto Edward laughing.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! Sorry for the late update. Like I said last week, I was at Disney all weekend. I left Friday morning and spent the afternoon and Typhoon Lagoon in Disney. On Saturday, I had a huge buffet breakfast, played at Downtown Disney and then spent 8 straight hours in Magic Kingdom!! IT was awesome!!! I stayed Sunday and I got back at 3, rushed to my Basketball game and I just finished getting dressed after my shower. Man, I'm exhausted! Anyway, what did you think? I'm sorry for leaving you on the funny cliffy but as always, it was too hard to resist. I cramed the rest of the family's therapy into one big chapter, though Bella's will continue a bit. I got a lot of laughs coming up. I'll be on time next week, I promise!**

**Days until Eclipse Premire: 59 Days until T_he Short Second Life of Bree Tanner _comes out: 33 Days until _Eclipse Movie Companion _come out: 58**

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	6. Otolaryngologist

Chapter 6:

Otolaryngologist

I laughed so hard tears were streaming down my face. I heard Alice's tinkling laugh and Jasper's and Emmett's laugh as well. Edward. . . .abusive? Maybe Rosalie but Edward? That was not even possible.

"Doctor . . . Edward is definitely not abusive. He is way at the other extreme. He is kind and gentle, protective yet harmless . . . well, harmless to me" I said as I sat up, wiping my tears.

Edward on the other hand, was glaring at Alice.

"It's a lie so don't say it" he warned her.

"That's not what I meant doc. I mean, he doesn't give her much liberty, always choosing what to do, where not to go, what not to do, he makes most of her decisions for her" Alice said and I just stared at her.

Edward? Was she talking about Edward?? In everything he did, I had a choice . . . well, except Jake but in everything else, I could say no.

"Oh, I understand" the doctor said as he began writing stuff down.

I had never been really violent but right now, I had and urge to grab that pen and fling it out the window. I sat on my hands, hoping that I wouldn't and make a problem.

"Hey doc, I almost forgot" Emmett said smiling. "She so clumsy she's almost incapacitated and has various near-death experiences" Emmett added laughing and I saw Edward trying to contain his laughter, though there was a smile on his face.

I frowned. This wasn't going to end good. The doctor began writing some things down and suddenly, Edward started shaking next to me.

I looked up at him curiously but he looked like he was about to die if he didn't laugh. He leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"He's considering referring you to an Otolaryngologist" he whispered in my ear so low the doctor couldn't hear.

"A what?"

"An otolaryngologist, a doctor/physician/ surgeon that helps people with balance problems" he said with a laugh and I stared wide eyed at the doctor.

I definitely did not like this guy. I did not need to go see a specialist for my balance problems. They would be gone soon anyway. I glared at the doctor until he looked up.

"Okay, so that's everybody so now I would like to discuss what happened at Walmart a couple days ago. I understand all of you got arrested for one reason or another so let's begin. Bella, why don't you go first" the doctor said as he turned to me and my eyes widened.

I just went! Oh come on! I really don't like this doctor. I heard scribbling and my eyes were zeroed in on the pen. The drop was about 2 floors, enough to break it. I wonder how many spares he had? He looked up at me expectantly and I tried to clear my throat, uncomfortable in the attention.

"Umm . . . I slipped in a puddle of water and brought my shopping cart down with me. I tried to grab onto something but grabbed onto the tomato flap and all the tomatoes came tumbling out. To top it all off, the cart was flung forward by some spring system it had and knocked down a bunch of cereal boxes. I was arrested because they thought I was just some ratty teenager playing a prank on them" I finished.

Everyone was smiling and Emmett was even laughing.

"Doctor, I can tell you 100% that's how it probably happened. She is, as you probably know, Chief Swan's daughter and she wasn't raised as a _ratty teenager"_ Edward said and I smiled.

"Okay, thank you Bella" he said as he wrote more stuff down.

My hands shook under me.

"Okay, next is Emmett" The doctor said.

"I didn't do anything, I was just having fun. I dressed up in my barney costume and—"

"Was it yours or the stores?" he asked.

"Mine. I bought it. Anyway, I was just having fun. I was dancing and singing but a couple kids ruined the fun, running off and crying to their mommy's that I was scary" he pouted. "They even took my costume!"

At that I laughed. Emmett's face made it look like it was the end of the world to him.

"Jasper?" he asked.

"I shot a man" he said and the doctor nearly had a heart attack. We all laughed quietly at his joke. "Not literally" he finally said for the sake of the doctor. "I was playing the new Mafia Wars III with the plastic gun and virtual goggles. An elderly man stepped in front of me and I shot him with my plastic gun because he looked like an enemy on my screen" Jasper explained.

"Oh, okay" the doctor said, looking completely spooked. "Umm . . . Alice" he stammered.

"Oh, I got arrested for helping the general public" she explained angrily. "All the women were dressing horribly and buying horrible outfits so I was helping them look more fashionable but I got charged with sexual harassment along with my _accomplice _" she said as she pointed to Edward.

"You helped her?" the doctor asked and Edward sighed.

"She threatened to burn my piano down so I carried the clothes around as she harassed the women. I got in trouble when she dragged me into a _women's _dressing room. I didn't realize where I was because I couldn't see over the pile of clothes.

She grabbed my belt and then _accidentally_ stepped on my pants as I walked back. So I ended up _exposed _in the ladies dressing room" Edward recalled, disgusted and glaring at Alice.

"Last, Rosalie" the doctor said.

"I did nothing wrong" she said and stayed quiet.

Really? She was really going to go mute?

"She threatened and physically hurt a lady over a pair of earrings. The lady claims she said she would kill her and feast on her if she didn't give her the earrings" Edward said. "And then she flung her against the wall" he explained.

The doctor stared at Rosalie and began writing furiously.

"Stop with the writing!!!" she said as she grabbed the pen and flung it out the window.

Yes!! Finally!!

"That wasn't what happened!" she yelled. "They were handcrafted $150 earrings. The lady thought they were $5 dollars and wanted them. We grabbed them at the same time but I told her they were mine. We argued and the threat was just . . . well, just a threat when you get angry.

She threatened to spray me with pepper-spray, which she _did, _by the way but I ducked out of the way just in time" Rosalie said "Then, we were tugging and it just _slipped_ from my fingers and she flew against the wall. It was totally her fault" she argued.

"Mhmm . . . " the doctor mused as he went to his desk and took out another pen, and began to write again.

After a minute, he put his pen down and turned to look at us.

"Okay, it seems we have a bit of work to do but that's okay" the doctor said, his hands folded in his lap.

"Doc, how long will these sessions normally be?" Emmett asked.

"One hour. On the first day, I always take two, or 3 in your case, though, to get to know you guys. You'll be seeing me once a week for a few months or as long as it takes. For homework, I want you guys to think of anything else you made need help on and tell us next session. You may all leave except Bella and Rosalie" he said and my eyes widened.

Emmett, Jasper and Alice quickly ran out but Edward sat where he was in the first place.

"Edward, please, we need some privacy" the doctor said but Edward sat stubbornly.

"Edward, please don't make me call your father to escort you out" the doctor threatened him but kindly.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys!!! I'm sorry _again_ for the late update. You see, all the University classes are over and all the students are taking the exams. All during next week, students are going to be going home (which is totally unfair, They start after we do like around September and get off _before_ we do, beginnings of May) So anyway, you have to bring _everything_ home with you. So Friday and Satureday, we spent it driving all the tons of stuff my sister took to the University with her all the way back home!! It was exhaustign. When I finally got home, we left the stuff in the car in the garage andf went straight to bed. And of course, I just finished eating breakfast with my mom. rebememer, it's MOther's Day!! Remember to dedicate this day to your moms for everything they do. It's just one day a year. Anyway, what did you think of this chapter? Most the things I write are compeltely factual. that mean and Otolarynngolosit does exist and does help people people with balance problems. I just thought it would be a nice bit of spice in the story (wait until you read the next chapter) Of course Edward won't leave Bella but, he must. the doctor really shouldn't threaten a vampire, not very smart. Only 18 more days left of school!!!! (24 if you count weekends. And then . . . SUMMER!!!! OH!!! REALLY IMPORTANT!!! I'm going to be out of town for about 3 weeks while my dad, 2 uncles, 3 aunts and 1 cousin care for the house and my dog. I'm going to update before I leave and hopefully during the trip since my sister is bringing her laptop but if not, I will have one big update when i get back. Promise. Anyway:**

**Days Left Until Eclipse Premire - 52 Days Until Movie Complanion Comes Out - 51 Days Until the '_Short Second Life of Bree Tanner'_ comes out - 26**

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**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	7. Dr Ortolanger

Chapter 7:

Dr. Ortolanger

"Go, I'll be fine" I said as I kissed him and got up.

He squeezed my hand tightly as he walked out, glaring at the doctor.

"Okay you two, you seem not to get along very well" he said, appraising our positions at opposite sides of the room. "We shall have a session one day, for just you two but that is not why I needed you today. Rosalie, I suggest you also visit 4th floor. I shall help you but they can focus more on your anger" he said and she glared at him for a second before taking his pen and walking out angrily. "And Bella" he said turning to me.

I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

"I have a friend, he is a great otolaryngologist that can help you with your balance problems" he said and I heard laughing outside.

I blushed, knowing they heard everything. The doctor handed me the card and I took it slowly and nodded as I headed to the door. The second I was out, I ripped up the card and threw it in the trash. Everyone was laughing, even Carlisle and Esme were softly. Edward came over to me smiling as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I hate that doctor and his stupid pen" I muttered as we walked out.

That got him laughing harder.

"So how was it?" Carlisle and Esme asked.

"Annoying" I answered. "Everyone but us would point out our _flaws _and then when we got into arguments all he would do is write stuff down with his STUPID PEN!" I said as I stomped into the elevator.

They laughed at my little tantrum and I just huffed.

"Don't worry love, it's not so bad. I hear the Otolaryngologist in this area is really good" he said and they all laughed again.

"Well, at least the doctor doesn't think I'm mental and might send me to a mental hospital because I hear voices in my head" I threw back at him, miffed that he was _still _laughing at me.

That quieted him down though, while everybody else laughed.

"How did he find out?" Carlisle asked seriously.

"Rosalie told him I tried to kill myself though it might've been because of the voices I hear in my head" he said.

Carlisle looked disapprovingly at Rosalie but she mostly ignored him.

"You guys have to be careful in there" he warned and they all nodded.

"I'm sorry" I said as I walked over to Edward, feeling bad.

"What for my little klutz, I like you just the way you are and I brought it on myself" he said as we walked out of the elevator.

"Hello! How was your session?" asked the lady at the front desk.

"Great" I murmured

"We just got these new multi-flavored fruit candies. Try one" she said, standing in front of us with a small, clear bowl filled with candy.

"No thank you" they declined.

"But . . . then we won't know if our other clients will like it and if they don't they might leave and if they might leave and if they leave we lose money and if we lose money we can lose doctors and if we lose doctors we might have to lease floors and if we lease floors we have to pay to get them fixed up and sold and—"

"Okay, we'll try one" Esme said kindly as she took one along with everyone else.

Mine was mango and strawberry explosion and it was amazing. It was hard but hard a gooey center which also contained gum. Everyone opened theirs up and placed the candy in their mouths, trying to keep the disgust off their face.

"Mmm"

"Delicious"

"Like nothing I've ever taste"

"This is—Oh! Something liquidy is in my mouth" Rosalie complained.

"Oh, that's the liquid center. There's gum contained inside that" she said.

Rosalie grimaced and turned to walk off.

"Thank you" we all said as we followed her out.

Once they were in the parking lot, they all spit it out.

"Ugh, I have that goo all over my teeth" Rosalie complained as she got in the car.

I hoped in with Edward and Emmett, preparing for the ride home. I spent the rest of the day at their house but when it got dark, I headed home.

"Hey dad!" I called when we arrived.

Edward had already left, promising to come by my room later.

"Hey Bells, how was therapy?" he asked and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Okay" I mumbled as I grabbed a slice of cold pizza and heated it up. "Our therapist, Dr. Sheldon Mental, is crazy. He dressed like a clown and has this stupid little irritating blue pen. Whether we are spilling our guts or about to kill each other, he's writing stuff down" I explained.

"Well . . . he can't be _that_ bad" Charlie said, trying not to laugh.

"Dad, he recommended me to an Otolaryngologist!" I said.

"An Ortolang what?"

"An Otolaryngologist. A doctor that specializes in helping people with balance problems" I said.

At this, he broke out laughing, not being able to contain it any longer.

"That's . . . that's good" he said as he laughed.

I growled a goodnight and walked upstairs, through with people laughing at me. I took a long shower, relaxing my muscles and calming my mind. I put on my PJ's and brushed my hair quickly. I ran back to my room to find Edward already sitting on my bed.

"Hi!" I said happily as I climbed in next to him.

"Hello" he said, kissing my forehead.

I was about to ask him something when a huge yawn overtook me.

"Sleep, you're tired" he said.

"No I'm not" I argued but he had already begun to sing my lullaby and in seconds, I was asleep, curled in his arms.

A week had past and sadly, here we were again, walking into the therapy building.

"Would you like more of our new candy?" she asked and we all declined, hurrying into the elevator before she began her rant.

"So, what do you think he'll do today?" I asked Edward.

He shrugged but there was a slight smile on his lips.

"What?" I asked.

He just shook his head, his smile getting wider. When we reached the 3rd floor, he had a full blown smile on his face.

"What is it?" I asked, having a bad feeling about it.

"You'll see" he said with a small laugh.

Carlisle signed us in and waved goodbye to us as he and Esme left. I distinctly heard two male voices talking inside Dr. Mental's office. After a minute, the door opened and the two doctors came out. Dr. Mental whispered something to the other doctor and pointed to me.

"Edward, you better tell me what is going on _right now_" I said but he just shook his head, laughing softly. "Edward!" I whispered.

"Okay guys, come on. Bella, I would like you to stay out here and talk with my friend" Dr. Mental said as he closed the door.

I had a _really_ bad feeling about this.

"Come on Bella, let's talk" the doctor said as he led me to a couch.

I sat as far away as possible from the guy as the couch allowed.

"Okay Bella, let me introduce myself. I'm Dr. Steven Ortolanger" he said and I nodded, confused.

"Okay, why do you need to see _me?_" I asked.

"Well, my close friend, Dr. Mental called me in. He told me you needed my help" he explained and I looked at him, confused.

It finally clicked just as he said it.

"I'm an Otolaryngologist" he said.

I shook as I stood up. Dr. Mental actually called him in? What if I didn't want to fix my balance problems? What if I already expected them to get fixed very soon?

"No thanks" I said as I walked off.

"Bella, please. You could have a very serious problem. Let me help you" he said as he grabbed my wrist.

"As I said, thanks, but no thanks" and with that, I pulled my wrist from his and ran into Dr. Mental's room, tripping a couple time but finally arriving and shutting the door harshly, clicking the lock.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! So what did you think? Mwuahahahah! Poor Bella! I was laughing as I wrote that last part. It came to me while I was sleeping and I though it was too funny to leave out. Therapy session up next. Anyway, I know I said I'd try on Fridays and I will try but Saturdays seem to be a little better for me. My sister came from the University and we're already up to mischief =p. Finals coming up but that just means summer is too! can't wait. I'm going on a month long vacation to Cartagena!1 It's gonna be awesome! I wish my dad could come and spanky(my dog) too but htey have to stay home with some relatives =C. Anywho**

**Days Left Until Eclipse Premire - 53 Days Until _'The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner' _Comes Out - 20 Days Until Eclipse Movie Complanion comes out - 52**

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**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	8. Rules of the Neon Hat

Chapter 8:

Rules of the Neon Hat

I turned toward everyone slowly, my eyes bright with anger. Everyone was holding in laughter with the exception of the doctor. At the sight of my face, their laughter broke out. Edward, being the gentlemen he is, only smiled and opened his arms for me. I stomped over to him angrily and sat on his lap. As his arms wrapped around me, I relaxed.

"So Bella, that was quick. How did it go?" dr. Mental asked as someone knocked on the door.

"Bella? Please, I just want to talk" the other doctor called

Dr. Mental looked at me and then at the locked door and then back at me. He finally got up and walked over to the door, unlocking it and letting the doctor in.

"Thank you Sheldon" the doctor said and then his eyes focused on me. "Bella"

I turned my head into Edward's chest. He laughed softly now, his whole body shaking.

"They're about to team up on you" he warned me softly.

Sure enough, seconds later they both began.

"Bella, why did you run out on my friend and lock him out of my office?" Dr. Mental asked.

"Because I don't need his help and I don't think you should've invited him here. If I wanted his help, I would've gone to see him" I said.

"According to the people around you, you do. As to your other statement, sometimes people don't realize they need help. This was a way for you maybe to rid yourself of your nerves of going to see him" Dr. Mental explained calmly.

"Dr. Mental" I said slowly. "I am not fearful or nervous at the thought of going to see him and I'm positive I will not be visiting him at all"

"Why is it Bella, that you do not want my help?" Dr. Ortolanger asked. "I can rid you of your problems for life in just a couple of hours. If its money, we have many payment options and you get a discount for being a patient of Dr. Mental. It's a great deal" he said.

"And who knows, it might help with some of your other problems"

"Yes, that way you can kill 2 birds with one stone"

"Nice one. Really Bella, it would help you a lot. Why don't you consider it?" Dr. Mental asked.

"Doctor, please. I don't want it. Thank you for offering but no thanks" I said slightly harshly.

They were really getting on my nerves.

"Have you talked it through with you father?" Dr. Ortolanger asked.

There I came up short.

"Yes" I said but I could tell they didn't believe me. "Well, not actually talked. I more just told him about it" I admitted.

"What did he think?"

"He thought it was hilarious and laughed" I said as I smiled.

They both frowned for a second before Dr. Mental brightened.

"Dr. Ortolanger is very busy so why not appreciate now that he is free and talk to your father about it?" Dr. Mental suggested as he fished around through the papers on his desk. "Got it" he said as he pulled out a pink sheet.

"What is he going to do?" I asked Edward nervously be he just chuckled and pointed.

I turned to see Dr. Mental dialing a phone number on the pink sheet.

"No" I said incredulous as he picked up the receiver.

"Hello? Chief Swan please" he said.

I couldn't believe this. Were they really that desperate to get me to see Dr. Ortolanger?

"This is past ridiculous" I said softly to Edward.

"Yes. They have been buddies really long so they try to help each other out as much as possible" he said in my ear.

"Good afternoon Chief Swan. I'm Dr. Mental, your daughter's therapist" he said and I let my head drop.

I heard snickers all around me and looked up miserably.

"Smile Bella" Jasper said, sending me happy waves but they just bounced off helplessly.

"No, everything is fine. Yes, I was calling because I have a fellow doctor with me that would like to talk to you" Dr. Mental said as he handed the phone to Dr. Ortolanger.

"Hello Chief Swan, I'm Dr. Ortolanger. I was talking to your daughter today but she seemed very reluctant to come and see me though it is in her best interest . . . . . . Oh! Yes, I specialize in balance problems. I help people who have sever balance deficiencies" he said and I heard loud laughter coming from the other line.

Everyone else heard it too and laughed as they looked at me. I groaned and blushed as I hid my head again. Edward rubbed his hand soothingly on my back.

"Yes, I was curious about your views on the subject. Yes . . . oh, I see, okay, thank you. It was very nice talking to you" Dr. Ortolanger said as he hung up.

"So, what happened?" I asked.

"Your dad found it pretty funny" he said with a frown. "He said he loved you, no matter how clumsy, just the way you are an d that it's your call"

"Oh" I said, emotions swirling through me due to what Charlie said. "Umm . . . thank you for coming out here to see me but I don't want your services" I said.

"Okay . . . " he said. "In case you change your mind, here's my card" he said, giving me one of the same cards I had ripped up last week.

"Sure, thanks" I said through my teeth, grabbing the card.

He waved at us before walking out.

"Okay, so, to our session" Dr. Mental said as if nothing happened. "Did anyone think of anything else they would like to share with us?"

Everyone stayed quiet.

"Okay, so it seems we did a good job last week of getting everything out" he said. "We will start with someone today and slowly work on their problems. Next time we will either switch or continue. It will be up to that person. I will need everyone's cooperation" he said. "So, who do we start with?" he asked and everyone pointed at Edward.

"Come on! I started last time!" he complained.

"But you have the most problems" Rosalie said and Edward growled at her.

"Why don't I pick a number in my head and you guys guess?"

"Yes" Edward and Alice said simultaneously but everyone else said no.

"They are very good at _reading_ people so it wouldn't be fair" Rosalie complained.

"So how about I pick a name out of a hat?" he asked and everyone agreed, Edward a bit disgruntled.

"Don't worry. I mean, what are the chances you'll get picked?" I asked.

"1/6" he answered.

I rolled my eyes. "Not literally" I said and he smiled as he wrote his name on an index card.

I wrote mine and put it in a bright neon orange hat that was being passed around. Once everyone had put theirs in, Dr. Mental took the hat.

"The rules of the neon hat is that there will be no whining, booing, wailing or complaining if your name gets picked. This is by chance and was chosen by everyone" he said seriously and we all nodded.

He wasn't much of a therapist. Always making us hold in our thoughts and feelings. His Psychology teacher must have been pretty gone to have taught him what he's doing now.

"Okay, is everyone ready?" Dr. Mental asked.

We nodded once again.

"Okay . . . 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . 0!" he said as he dipped his hand in and pulled out a piece of paper.

Alice started laughing hysterically suddenly and we all turned to her.

"Nothing, sorry . . . I just . . . saw something funny . . . sorry" she apologize between laughs.

I looked at Edward but he seemed just as confused as I was.

"Okay, so the person that must go first it . . . Edward!"

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! So what did you think. It came to me to have them team up on her. The idea is sort of to show that they are both pretty far gone. Put yourself in Bella's place and imagine how mortifies you would be if your _therpist_ called your dad about your severe balance 'issues' I was just laughing like a mad person. Anyways, school is almost over! Only 8 more school day and I'm done! Summer, barbeques, ECLIPSE PREMIRE! Ahh, lot's of stuff to look forward to. Oh! guess what!:! I went surfing today! It was awesome! We got feree surf lessons and the waves were up. One word describes it all ;HARD/. You have to jump up like in a push up but land on work feet. Land to farr up, the board tips over your head. Too far back, tips towards your head. Too much left or right, it wobbles and like all the others, knocks you off. I fell off my board like 20 times and must have gotten about 3 gallons of salt water up my nose. It was cool though when you were able to stand up and surf to the shore.I do have very big exams nect week and my Algebra I Honors Full Year State-wide final exam in a wekk and a few days! I have to study so my update next week might be on Sunday. I'll try to make it on Friday or Saturday but no promises.**

**Days Until Eclipse Premire: 39 Days Until_ 'The Short Second life of Bree Tanner'_ comes out: 13 Days until Movie Companion Comes Out: 38**

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	9. Insomnia

Chapter 9:

Insomnia

The room suddenly filled with laughter. Rosalie had fallen against Emmett who was vibrating so hard he made the couch begin to vibrate. Alice was laughing in Jaspers arms, who was shaking under her.

Edward groaned loudly and fell back into the seat. I just stared opened mouth at the hat. Bad luck can't be transferred, right? Eventually, the laughing subsided into small chuckles.

"Well Edward, it was the luck of the draw" the doctor said but Edward just ignored him.

"Luck" I heard him mutter and I smiled.

"Edward" the doctor called and Edward finally sat up.

"Yes?" he said, his eyes burning.

The doctor almost seem to backpedal, regretting his decision.

"Well maybe, if you don't feel up to beginning . . . " the doctor trailed off.

"No! his name was picked fair and square" Rosalie argued and the doctor sighed.

"She's right Edward, your name was picked. Think of it this way. You'll get better faster" he said enthusiastically and Edward forced a smile. "Okay Edward, I recall your siblings saying you were secretive"

"I'm no—"

"Edward, it's _okay_ if you are. We're here to help you let out your feelings and help you with any troubles you may be having" the doctor said. "Now, you're known to be secretive.

Well, the first step to getting better is acknowledging the problem. The best way to do that is to let the secrets out. Let us start small. Tell us 1 secret you've been holding" the doctor asked.

Edward sighed and then smiled mischievously.

"You know, sometimes, I'm _asked_ to keep secrets by my siblings" he said innocently.

"Well, you shouldn't be asked to keep secrets. A family should be based on trust, which means no secrets. So if you're asked next time, tell them that and see how things happen then" the doctor said.

Edward nodded like an obedient student but I should see the humor in his eyes.

"So, as I explained before, it's best to begin by slowly letting go of all your secrets you've kept in. So Edward, what is a secret you have?" The doctor asked.

"Emmett has and sometimes sleeps with Spider-man footie pajamas" Edward said with a laugh and Emmett's eyes went wide.

"DUDE!" Emmett yelled at Edward who just smiled back and pointed at the doctor.

The room again erupted with laughter. The doctor didn't laugh but there was humor in his eyes. I just . . . I couldn't visualize it. Emmett . . . in footie pajamas? How would he even fit in one?

"What? Emmet, you don't even sleep! What would you need those for?" Rosalie said, slightly embarrassed.

"I saw them at the store and—"

"Emmett, you suffer from insomnia?" the doctor said in shock and we all laughed slightly again.

Technically, he did. . . technically.

"Well, not _really _doc" Emmett said.

"Do you sleep at night or during the day"

"_Technically_ . . . no" Emmett said.

"Why didn't you say before. That is a serious medical condition" the doctor said.

"Never occurred to me. I'm never tired, never had illusions, I'm not in a mental hospital . . . I just don't _need_ sleep" Emmett tried to explain.

"Emmett . . . we will talk more of this after our session. Do your parents know of your condition" he asked.

Well . . . since Carlisle changed him . . .

"I _assume_ so" Emmett said, holding back a small laugh.

The doctor frowned but nodded as he wrote it down.

"Okay Edward, back to you. Sometimes secrets can cause people pain and they're not good. Why do you feel you must keep secrets?" The doctor asked.

"Sometimes, to protect a loved one" he answered as he looked down at me, his arm tightening on my waist. "Or, if it's going to be a surprise, I keep it a secret until it's time" he said and I could hear the double meaning behind his words.

"I see, both of those reason are exceptions but if your siblings feel you're secretive, you must be keeping more secrets than you let on" the doctor said and Edward sighed loudly.

"I tell my siblings just about everything. It's almost impossible to keep secrets in the family anyway" Edward said.

"Can anybody give me an example of why they think Edward is secretive?" the doctor asked.

Everyone stayed quiet and the doctor nodded.

"So it seems your judgment might have been based too loosely but that's okay. You were just trying to help your brother" the doctor told them soothingly.

"Edward, you must promise to try not to keep too many secrets. It could make your siblings more comfortable around you" the doctor said and Edward smirked, nodding. "Now, your siblings say you're uptight. What would they mean by that?"

"I'm the only civilized one out of all of them but I really don't know" he said.

"Right, he hasn't ever been to strip club because he refuses to go" Emmett said and even I almost growled.

Why would Edward need to go to a strip club?

"He never likes to go shopping with me" Alice whined and I smiled.

"Everything in his room has to be perfect. You can't mess with his music or he'll go berserk" Rosalie said and he frowned but I knew that was probably true.

"Emmett, I swear. If you—"

"And, even after persuasion, talking and a sexy Bella, he still hasn't _done it_" Emmett said and glared like crazy.

"Say goodbye to your Jeep" he said and smiled as Emmett's eyes went wide.

"Well, your siblings seem to feel more strongly on this subject" the doctor said.

"Their assumptions are ludicrous.

1. I would never go to a strip club because I love Bella

2. No one likes to go shopping with Alice because she shops for hours and you're just used as a bag carrier for her.

3. My room isn't perfect but I have so many CDs that if they get out of order, I won't be able to find anything

4. I haven't_ done_ it yet because I'm old-fashioned"

Edward finished

"I understand Edward. Your reasons are valid yet, what your siblings seem to be getting at is that you don't like to have fun. I know sometimes you must be serious but it's okay to loosen up once in a while" the doctor said and suddenly, a small bell rang.

"Would you look at that, our session is just about over. Well, I think we accomplished a lot with you today Edward" the doctor said as he stood and we stood with him.

Edward forced a smile as he stood with me. The doctor led us outside where Carlisle and Esme were sitting.

"How did it go?" they asked anxiously.

"Good. I would like to have a word with both of you and Emmett though" the doctor said.

The nodded suspiciously as they followed him into the office. We all crowded around the door to hear what they were saying. I couldn't hear anything so Edward whispered it in my ear.

"Doctor and Mrs. Cullen. I wanted to talk to you about some shocking news I discovered today. Emmett, would you like to tell them?"

"Umm . . . "

"Emmett suffers from insomnia"

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! I'm sorry for the late update! I had exams all this week and I've been studying like crazy for my Algebra Exam on Friday. So what did you think? I had lot's of fun writting this chapter. I thought up the whole pajama thing when I though up the insomnia. Technically they don't sleep so i thought it would be really funny if he own those little kid pajamas. It just . . . came to me. I already have ideas for the next chapter. OKAY, EVERYBODY READ THIS NEXT PART. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT! I'm going on vacation next Saturday. Now, I will still write and have the updates but they will be very crazy. If I miss and update, the next one will be 2 chapters long, promise. I'll try my best. Schools over in less than a week. Ah . . . and then . . . SUMMER! Beach, sun mall, friends . . . SUMMER! IMPORTANT! _FOR ALL THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW YET, BREAKING DAWN WILL BE BROKEN UP INTO 2 DIFFERENT MOVIES_! eeeppppp!**

**Days Until Eclipse Premire: 31 Days Until _'The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner'_ comes out: 5 Days Until Movie Companion comes out: 30**

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	10. Dismanteled

**Chapter 10:**

**Dismanteled**

"Insomnia?"

"Yes, the inability to sleep. He says he doesn't need to sleep but everyone needs it"

"Umm . . . yes, we're scheduled to begin treatment on Tuesday"

"What!" (Em)

"That's good" (Dr. M)

"Yes, we already knew and though Emmett says he doesn't need sleep, everyone need sleep. It's the way _our_ bodies function"

"Yes, that is what I thought. I have a friend, he can come and talk to Emmett about it"

"No, it's okay, really"

"It would be my pleasure, please. Here, your kids must be waiting" the doctor said and we all ran back to the couches and sat down, backs straight, hands folded on our laps.

They came out, apprising our positions. Emmett glared at Edward who tried to hold back a laugh.

"Goodbye doctor!" We called as we left.

"What happened? I told you guys to be careful" Carlisle asked in the elevator.

"It was Edward's fault!" Emmett said.

"No it wasn't!" Edward shot back.

"Okay, wait, what happened?" Carlisle asked.

"Well, according to my siblings, I'm secretive so the doctor told me to let out one secret. I told him the secret that Emmett has and sometimes wears footie pajamas" Edward explained and we all began laughing again.

"Hey, they were on sale" Emmett pouted as Carlisle looked at him and then shook his head.

"Then Rosalie asked him why he would have those if he doesn't sleep and . . . well, the doctor understood wrong" Edward finished.

"I told you guys, _be careful_ " Carlisle emphasized as we walked outside.

We nodded as we got into our cars.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked as we drove.

"He went with Carlisle and Esme this time" Alice chimed from the backseat. "They're having a little talk" she said and Edward chuckled as he parked.

Emmett got out of Carlisle's car and walked angrily towards the building, opening the door harshly.

"What's gotten into him?" I asked but Edward just shrugged.

We followed after him quickly, stopping the elevator just before it closed. He pushed the button quickly and hard, as if it was the cause of all his problems.

"Seriously?" Edward said suddenly as he laughed.

"Shut up" Emmett muttered but he seemed more upset than mad.

I looked at Edward curiously for an answer.

"Carlisle took Emmett's footie pajamas before they left" Edward explained and Emmett just whined.

"Come on Carlisle, I never go out in public with them" Emmett pleaded but Carlisle just shook his head.

Emmett looked heartbroken as if those pajamas had been his puppy.

"Edward, keep Emmett in check today okay? Please?" Esme asked as we exited and Edward nodded.

"Of course"

"Mama's boy" Emmett muttered.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen!" Esme scolded him but was cut off by the elevator door closing, taking them back down.

"Mama's boy" Emmett murmured again.

"I'm not a mama's boy!" Edward argued though he sort of was, just a little.

"Yes you are, you didn't even go through with your threat from last week" Emmett said.

"Really?" Edward said brining up a picture on his phone and showing Emmett.

Emmett stared wide-eyed at the picture in disbelief.

"You're so dead!" he yelled as he threw himself at Edward.

The floor shook as they tumbled around. Emmett threw punches and Edward dodged, trying to get Emmett off. The phone skidded over to me and I saw it was a picture of Edward holding a wrench next to a huge pile of car parts. Probably what was left of Emmett's jeep.

"Okay, so—" the doctor began as he came out but stopped short as he saw Edward and Emmett rolling around on the floor.

The second Emmett and Edward saw him, they got up roughly. Emmett was glaring and shaking from anger while Edward was just smiling.

"Good Afternoon doctor" he said but the Dr. Mental was frozen.

"Doctor!" Emmett said loudly and he snapped out of his daze.

"Yes. Emmett, Edward, my office please. You guys can wait outside, if you don't mind" the doctor said as Edward and Emmett softly groaned.

I smiled sadly at Edward as gave me one last look before the doctor closed the door, shutting them in together.

"This is good!" Alice said as she sat down on top of Jasper and grabbed a magazine.

I stared at her incredulously.

"Good? How is this good?" I asked.

"Because, now they can settle their problems and we don't have to be stuck in that office" she chimed.

"Good point" Rosalie said as she sat down as well.

I considered it for a moment and finally sat down with a smile. No clicking or writing with the pen, no embarrassing talking, no teaming up of 2 doctors on me . . . I could live with that. I grabbed my book out of my bag and got comfortable, before opening it up and letting time fly.

EmPOV

"Yes. Emmett, Edward, my office please. You guys can wait outside, if you don't mind" the doctor said and I groaned.

Seriously? I already had to deal with my dismantled jeep thanks to _somebody_ who's a ********** now I have to be stuck in his office alone with Edward while everyone gets to stay outside? How is that fair?

We walked in slowly, I even considered making a run for it, but Edward moved one step behind me.

_Stupid Jeep dismantling mind reader'_ I thought to him and he just chuckled.

The doctor shut the door and walked slowly over to his big chair, motioning for us to sit on the couch.

_'Edward! Can't we just leave, we could definitely break down the door'_ He shook his head. _'Fine, be goody two shoes' _I thought sourly.

"Okay boys, we have to talk about what just happened. You boys obviously had a lot of bottled up anger towards each other. It's okay to sometimes be rough with your brother, huh, it actually normal.

Yet, when it gets to actual fighting, then we've got a problem" he said. "Now, I want to know what happened since our last session to make you boys this violent against each other?"

"Well doctor" Edward began. "Emmett has a tendency to be too interested and curious about my sex life"

"Or lack of" I muttered and he elbowed me.

"So, I really hate it when he talks about that kind of stuff because it's personal. So, when he went to talk about it in _public,_ I threatened to dismantle his whole Jeep. He did it anyway thinking I was bluffing. This morning before he could see, I did the job"

"No! He told the whole family my secret!" I interrupted. "Carlisle took my pajamas just before we left so I was already pissed a Edward for being the cause of that and then I called him a mama's boy because he was like, 'of course mom' and I said he didn't even go out with the threat and he showed me the picture and I snapped!" I said.

"Emmett, you do know who actually took the picture since I was in it . . . Rosalie"

* * *

**A/N**

**:D Hey Guys! I actually update on time this time! Aren't you so proud! =p. Anyways, I'm leaving with my sister and mom tomorrow for vacation! Yay me! We'll even be stating at a beach house! I wish my dad could come too though. Anyway, I was babbling on because my updates my be a little crazy. I'll write and try to update when I can. ****So what did you think? This was more of and intermideiate chapter,(between hterpay sessions). I thought it would be a funny thing to have Eward completely take Emmett's Jeep apart. This will also fuel the next few chapter. I loved the ending though ;p! Anywho, for all of you who don't know, Breaking Dawn is already filming and will be made into 2 seperate movies! Ah! I'm so excited. The premire is coming up too, were in the final month now! School is finally over! Summer Time! H.A.G.S ;P**

**Day Left until Eclipse Premire: 26 Days Until _'The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner'_ comes out: Hahah! There aren't any days left! Just 5 hours and 20 minutes. Days Until Eclipse Movie Companion Comes out: 25**

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	11. Beephobia

Chapter 11:

Beephobia

EPOV

"What? Rosie! How could you?" he cried as he burst out of the office. "How could you Rosie!" he whined, having a total tantrum on the floor.

"What? What did I do?" she asked, getting up.

"You remember that picture I asked you to take this morning?" I asked.

"Yeah, so?" she asked.

"Rosie!"

"Was it this one" he said as he picked up his phone and showed her"

"Of course Edward. You asked me to take it. A stupid picture, I think. You're just smiling next to a billion car parts.

"ROSIE!" Emmett wailed on the floor. "That was my Jeep! You took a picture of my dismantled Jeep!"

"Wait!" she said as she spun towards me. "You dismantled his Jeep?" She asked.

"Well, yeah" I said with a knowing smile.

"Edward Cullen I swear to god—!"

"You shouldn't swear, it's not lady-like" I said and she nearly lunged at me there.

"You dismantled his whole Jeep?" Alice said breaking into a laugh. "And Rosalie—" she was overcome by laughter.

"Well doctor, I think it's time for our session" Jasper said, the calmest one out of all of us, with the exception of Bella.

"Come on" I said as I walked over to where she sat and helped her up, kissing her sweetly.

Her hands tangled in my hair and I chuckled as I pulled away, watching her pout.

"Now is not the best time" I said as I looked pointedly at everyone in the room.

"Fine" she said, pouting.

I offered my hand and she smiled as she intertwined hers in mine, walking towards the office.

"So . . . it seems there were many parts to what happened" the doctor said once we were all seated.

"My Jeep" whined Emmett.

He was in the corner of the room in a fetal position, rocking back and forth.

"Emmett?" the doctor said softly as he walked over to him.

"My Jeep!" Emmett said, jumping up so suddenly the doctor jumped back in surprise.

Emmett seemed to get a small bit of pleasure out of that. He smiled as he sat next to Rosalie.

"Yes, it was probably a huge scheme" he said.

"Why would they scheme against you Emmett?" the doctor asked.

That brought him up short.

_'Come on! Whatever I tell him will end up with a huge talk or . . . ugh! This is all your fault Edward! You suck!'_ he thought to me and I smiled, whispering his thoughts in Bella's ear.

She giggled as she looked at him.

"Well, he does have a tendency to joke with people's _personal_ life." I said.

"Only _lack_ of personal life. That's why I don't bug anyone else. Besides, Bella's reactions are funny" he said and a blush filled Bella's cheeks, sending her delicious scent towards me.

I growled softly and he smiled.

"See?"

"okay, so back to what we were talking about. It seems all this came because of you talking about Edward and Bella's personal life–"

"Lack of" he mumbled under his breath and I threw my cell phone at him.

It hit him square in the head, shattering into pieces.

"What was that?" the doctor said as he looked around nervously.

I had thrown it too fast and he probably hadn't seen it.

"Probably just a bee" Jasper said, giving me a glance.

"BEE!" the doctor shrieked as he ran out of the office.

We just stared after him.

"Something tells me he has a fear of bees" Bella said as she got up. "Come on, he's probably terrified" she said as she pulled me outside.

The doctor was hiding under the secretary's desk. He was a huge bundle of sweaters and hats.

"Umm . . . doctor, the bee is gone. We . . . ummm . . . lured it out of the window" I said.

"Are you sure?" he said, his voice shaking.

"Yes doctor" I assured him.

"Positive. No buzzing yellow black bees in there which can sting?"

"Yes"

"Wait! Even those that don't sting?"

"Yes doctor" I said exasperated. "The room is completely void of any types of bees" I said. "I think he might need therapy . . . way more than us in any case" I whispered to Bella and she nodded.

"Okay, I'm coming out" he said as he slowly crawled from under the desk. "Sorry about that" he said as he took off all the extra clothes. "I have a fear o bees" he explained as he walked back in.

_'Nah!' _Emmett thought.

"I've had very bad experiences with bees. When I was little, we were hitting a piñata but I of course was blindfolded. I went off course and hit a beehive. I was stung by 150 bees" he said as he shuddered.

"7 years later, my cousin on my mom's dad's side twice removed died from a bee sting because he didn't know he was allergic. It was very tragic. The whole family went crazy and even coated his whole coffin in honey . . . " he trailed off.

_'Umm . . . okay, this is weird'_ Alice thought.

"So, yes. I'm very sorry for freaking out on you guys. Now, to what we were talking about. Emmett, it seems many of the conflicts you have with your brother is about your . . . willingness to interfere with their relationship.

Though you may want to help your brother, he doesn't feel comfortable with you doing it. I think a very good solution to this is that both of you talk this through together, figure what are comfort grounds for each of you.

That way you can enjoy being brothers a lot more. If you are both comfortable around each other, you can release tension that other may have, even if it's totally unrelated to your problems" the doctor said.

I nodded, more out of courtesy now. That advice didn't really work for someone like Emmett.

"Edward, I must say though, dismantling your brother's Jeep wasn't very nice. You obviously knew how much it meant to him. You shouldn't want to purposely cause somebody pain" he told me.

"I couldn't think of anything else to do to stop him except that. And that didn't even work! But I thought that if I actually went through with what I said I would do, maybe he would realize how much it was really bugging me and _maybe _he wouldn't do it again" I explained.

"I understand your reasons Edward but there _are _other ways. Remember that. You have me, your siblings, Bella and of course, your parents. Just ask them for help. We all just want you guys to be happy" he said and I forced a smile.

He sounded like a preacher.

"Wow! Will you look at that! Time flew by again" he said as he got up. "This session is over"

We all walked out, happy to finally be out.

"Doctor and Mrs. Cullen, good afternoon" he greeted them "The session went well. I just have homework for Edward and Emmett and I will need your help" he said and they nodded. "I would like you to lock them in an empty room together for 3 hours. No furniture, no color, nothing. I want them to talk about their problems with each other and I think this is the perfect way" he explained and my mouth dropped.

He couldn't be serious.

* * *

**N/A**

**Hey Guys! What's up? I'm so proud! I actually got this update up. I thught it would be cruel to make you guys wait 3 weeks until I got back from vacation so I worked during my free hours at my family's house and viola! An update on time. Anyway, what ddid you think. I was laughing, as always,. when I wrote this chapter. This stpry id just soo much fun to write! I reread it after I finish and even I crack up. Anywho, my vacation has been awesome. I love being surrounded by the fresh mountain air. For all of you who don't know, _The Short Second life of Bree Tanner_ is already in stores! Get your copy now! Second little note, Breaking Dawn will be broken up into 2 parts! EEEPPP! I'm so excited.**

**Days Left Until the Premire of Eclipse: 18 Days Left until Official Movie guide comes out: 17**

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	12. The Most Precious Thing

**I'M SO SORRRYYY! I haven't had access to a computer or internet since the last time I updated. This is for last week. I'll try to have this weeks chapter up by this weekend. Okay, continue on . . . **

* * *

Chapter 12:

The Most Precious Thing

We all walked out, happy to finally be out.

"Doctor and Mrs. Cullen, good afternoon" he greeted them "The session went well. I just have some homework for Edward and Emmett and I will need your help" he said and they nodded.

"The first is for Emmett and it's not really homework. I talked to one of my friends who specializes in insomnia cases. He gave me a list of very effective techniques. I want Emmett to do all of them, with your help if necessary.

There are only about 10 so it shouldn't take too long" he said handing Carlisle the paper. "I would suggest doing them at the most exhausting point in Emmett's day. That will help induce rest as well" he added and the Carlisle nodded with a smile.

"The second part is for both Edward and Emmett. I would like you to lock them in an empty room together for 3 hours. No furniture, no color, nothing. I want them to talk about their problems with each other and I think this is the perfect way" he explained and my mouth dropped.

He couldn't be serious. Carlisle suppressed a laugh as he nodded.

"Of course doctor, anything you need we are most likely happy to comply with" he as he herded us out quickly.

"THAT STUPID **********" Emmett cursed like crazy in the elevator.

"Emmett! Language!" Esme scolded.

"Sorry" he mumbled.

As soon as the elevator landed, he ran outside and began his cursing again. Esme just rolled her eyes as she walked out.

"What happened this time?" Carlisle said as he met us both outside.

"Hey, the doctor isn't here" Emmett stated suddenly.

"Uh, yeah?" I said as I stared at him. "He's probably upstairs"

"Oh, that's good" he said as he lunged at me.

Carlisle was frozen as he watched us roll around.

"It was just a stupid Jeep" I said and, as I thought it would, it got him more fired up that before.

"I swear to god Edward! Say goodbye to your piano and your Volvo!" Emmett yelled.

"BOYS!" Carlisle yelled suddenly and we froze.

Jasper came over and pried Emmett off me with Carlisle's help. He sent calming waves to me and I just let them go.

"Both of you, the car, now" he ordered.

We stared at him open mouthed. Carlisle rarely got mad, much less yelled.

"Now!" he said and we ran off towards his car.

"I get the front seat" I said as I glided in.

"Oh no you don't" Emmett said but I pushed the locks.

He tried to pry the handle off.

"You might break it and then Carlisle will really give it to you" I said through the window and he huffed as he moved towards the back seat. "Here Alice!" I yelled as threw her my keys.

She of course was expecting it and grabbed them easily. The girls all walked towards my car while Jasper and Carlisle headed towards us. My phone vibrated suddenly and I flipped it open. It was a text from Alice.

_Call me and then keep the line open inconspicuously. We'll want to hear the upcoming conversation. ;p_

_~Alice~_

I shook my head with a smile as I dialed Alice's number.

"Got it, now keep quiet" she ordered in a whisper.

Right as they arrived, I unlocked the car. Emmett got in angrily, shutting the door harshly. He was really acting like a baby. Jasper slid in besides Emmett, sending a bunch of calming waves towards him. Carlisle slid into the front seat.

"I want to know what happened and no fighting or arguing" he said.

"HE DISMANTLED MY JEEP!" Emmett said as he kicked my chair.

"Emmett! Edward, is that true?" Carlisle asked, a small smile on his lips.

"Well, last time he talked ineptly about my _personal_ life so I threatened to dismantle his Jeep. He of course didn't listen and, well, today I showed him the picture. He totally lost it" I explained.

"I had reason enough. What if you saw the most precious thing in your life destroyed?" Emmett whined.

"WHAT!" Rosalie shrieked from the phone.

I stuffed it in between my legs and tried to mute the sound.

"Was that Rose?" Emmett asked, his face going paler.

"Edward! You give the phone to Emmett this minute or I'll burn your piano" Rosalie threatened and I smirked as I handed a horrified Emmett the cell phone.

He took it with a shaking hand.

"Hello Rosie. How are you?"

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, we will be having a very _long_ chat at home and don't even expect _it_ tonight or any night soon" she said loudly.

"What? Rosie!" he whined but she hung up.

He dropped the phone in shock.

"Edward, I'm going to murder you in your sleep" Emmett said.

"That's not possible since I suffer from insomnia" I said and he growled loudly. "Boys! Emmett, you got yourself into this whole insomnia business so I have no choice but to make you deal with the consequences.

For the next week, Esme or I will do all those exercise with you at night since, from what I heard, you're going to be _free_" Carlisle said and Emmett whined.

"Please Carlisle, I have enough to deal with already!" he said but a stern look from Carlisle got him quiet.

"We'll do the lock-in tomorrow" Carlisle said as he parked next to my Volvo.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, come here right now" Rosalie said.

She was standing at the garage entrance, looking thoroughly pissed. She was tapped her shoe impatiently, motioning for him to come.

"Come on Edward. Help me man! I can't deal with Rose alone! She might kill me" Emmett begged me.

"Well than maybe you should've married you're Jeep!" Rosalie yelled from the door, stomping inside.

"No, Rose, wait!" he said as he got out quickly, following after her.

I laughed as I got out, walking into the house. Bella was with Alice, eating a snack.

"Hello" I said as I wrapped my arms around her, inhaling her intoxicating scent.

"Hey" she as she turned to me.

I took that advantage and kissed her sweetly. When she began to sway, I pulled back.

"rose is mad" she said as she grabbed her fruit. "Very mad. She got downgraded to under a Jeep" Bella said with a laughed. "I can even hear her going at it now" Bella said and indeed, she was right. I could hear Rose yelling at Emmett and Emmett try to, very unsuccessfully, explain.

I laughed as I took her to the couch, seating her on my lap. She laid her head on my shoulder as I softly trailed my fingers up and down her back. After a while, she fell asleep. I smiled down at her, shifting my weight to make her more comfortable.

Rose kept scolding Emmett up until about 9pm when it was time for his sleeping excises. I shook with laughter when I heard Carlisle and Esme call it out.

"Emmett! Get down here! It's time for your sleeping exercises."

Unfortunately, my laughter woke Bella up.

"What . . . Edward . . . oh!" she said as she sat up quickly. "I fell asleep" she said drowsily.

"Yes love, but come on, you're going to want to see this" I said as I got up, carrying her bridal style to the kitchen.

_'You're so dead, I just went through hell because of what you did!' _he screamed at me mentally but I just smiled innocently.

"Emmett, we already read through this list but you should familiarize yourself with it" Carlisle said as he handed it to him.

Emmett took it resignedly. He read it over quickly, his jaw dropping.

* * *

**A/N**

**As I said, ****I'M SO SORRRYYY! I haven't had access to a computer or internet since the last time I updated. This is for last week. I'll try to have this weeks chapter up by this weekend though. Anyway, what did you guys think? This chapter involved more problems at home instead of the therapy office. Emmett, of course, now had a lot do deal with Rosalie. Poor Emmie. =D. My vacation was awesome! We even spent a week at a beach house where you walked for 20 seconds and you were at the beach. It was sooo relaxing. Oh! You guys have to visit this webiste and watch this show :**

**h t t p : / / a b c . g o . c o m / w a t c h / j i m m y - k i m m e l - l i v e / S H 5 5 9 0 6 0 / V D 5 5 7 3 0 0 8 / j i m m y - k i m m e l - l i v e - t w i l i g h t - s a g a ? c i d = f u l l e p i s o d e a c c e s s **

**Copy it into the adresss bar and remove all the spaces (If a put a link it won't show up) It has and interview with most of the eclipse cast and many clips and unseen parts of the movie. Check it out! It;s awesome. I'm so excited! The movie is coming out in less than a week! OMG! I can't wait.**

**Days Until Eclipse: 4**

**I CAN'T WAIT!**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	13. Bedtime Exercises

Chapter 13:

Bedtime Exercises

"What does it say?" Bella asked curiously and Emmett shoved the paper at me angrily.

I smoothed it out and handed it to Bella to read aloud.

"Thank you" she said as she grabbed it and began reading. "_1. Don't exercise for at least 3 hours before bed. _

_2. Keep the TV and computer off for 30 to 60 minutes before bed. _

_3. A turkey sandwich with lettuce on whole wheat bread and a glass of milk may help make you drowsy. _

_4. Have an adult or sibling give you a backrub to smooth out tense muscles_

_5. You've heard this one before, but it's one of the best pieces of sleep advice around: wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day _

_6. Try to condition yourself to respond to a physical stimulus. Every night when you're drifting off to sleep, give yourself a concrete physical cue - something that you wouldn't do at any other time. _

_7. Don't read, watch TV, or work in bed. _

_8. Try telling yourself a story in your head. Make it a calm and cheerful story and focus on nothing else_

_9. Set the stage for sleep._

_10. Your body's systems are slowed and sluggish at lower temperatures, so sleeping in a cooler room may do the trick for you" _she finished softly. "Well, good luck Emmett" she said, pity in her voice.

'_Good luck my—'_ he thought and I glared at him.

"Let's go Emmett" Esme said as she dragged him upstairs.

"This is stupid mom, I'm _**never**_ going to fall asleep" I heard him shout and I smiled.

Bella yawned loudly and I smiled down at her, wrapping my arms around her.

"Come on, you're tired" I said as I guided her up to my room.

"I'm not" she was over taken by a yawn "That tired"

"Yes you are" I said softly as I lifted her into my bed.

I laid with her, wrapping my arms around her; hugging her close. I hummed her lullaby and she was out in minutes. I held her tight, smiling and she began to talk and laughing silently as I heard Emmett's thoughts.

EmPOV

"Emmett, you got yourself into this so now you'll have to deal with the consequences" Esme said as she took me to my room, paper in hand.

Just as she was about to close the door, Rose ran in, taking a seat a chair.

"I want to watch" she explained and I groaned.

It was already bad enough.

"Oh, so you don't want me here?" She said, standing and putting her hands on her hips.

"Well . . . " I trailed off.

"Oh!" she said as she slapped me square in the cheek.

"Rosie!" I whined, feeling the sting from her hard slap on my face.

"Well, too bad, because I'm staying. It actually gives me more reason to stay" she said stubbornly and I held back my whine.

"We'll be doing this at the same time every day for the next week. You can't do _anything_ in this bed other than sleep and you're not allowed to watch TV, go on the computer or _exercise _one hour before we do this.

"Okay Emmett, get ready for bed" Esme ordered.

"Uhh . . . "

"Take a shower and put on some shorts and a t-shirt" she explained.

I sighed loudly as I went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. My only thought the whole time was Rosie in the shower with me. When I finished, I slipped on some shorts and tossed a shirt on.

"There" I said as walked out slowly.

"Okay Emmett, get into bed" Esme ordered and I trudged over to the huge bed in the middle of the room. "Alice!" she called and immediately the door opened and Tinkerbelle waltzed in.

"Here you go, enjoy" Alice said with a snicker as she handed her a plate and a glass before skipping out and closing the door.

"What is that?" I asked suspiciously, smelling something disgusting.

"A turkey sandwich with lettuce on whole wheat bread and a glass of warm milk to help make you drowsy" she said and I whined loudly.

"Mom! That's disgusting! I'll eat it if you eat half" I proposed.

"No Emmett, now eat up" she ordered.

I closed my eyes as I took a bite of the disgusting sandwich. I gagged as the taste hit my tongue. The bread was all soggy and sticking to my tongue. The lettuce was crunchy a kept releasing some disgusting watery juice. I swallowed with effort, gasping loudly.

I resignedly took the glass of warm milk and took a swing.

"Ugk!" I gasped as I spewed it out.

"EMMETT!" Rosalie shrieked and I looked up to see her bathed in milk.

"Oops" I said and she yelled loudly as she stomped out of the room.

Well, what was I supposed to do?The milk was disgusting and warm.

"Emmett" Esme scolded. "After we finish, you're cleaning up the mess you made" she said as she handed me the plate and the glass again.

I quickly chomped down the rest and chugged the milk down, wanting to get rid of it as quick as possible.

"Okay, now . . . backrub" she said and I turned on my back, letting her massage me.

This part wasn't so bad.

"There, now . . . give yourself a physical stimulus" she said and I closed my eyes, visualizing Rosie.

"_Physical_" she said interrupting my thoughts "Not mental"

I sighed as I rubbed my hand.

"Good, now, tell yourself a story in your head, a cheerful one" she said and I went back to visualizing.

After a while, she shook me.

"Okay, the temperature is low so now try to _fall asleep_ for the next hour" she said and my mouth dropped.

"But I won't—"

"Emmett"

I sighed as I closed my eyes. I played with my fingers until a hand pried them apart.

"Just stay still and try to _sleep_ for an hour" she said and I sighed, going still.

It was so boring!

"Okay Emmett, your hour is up, you may leave" Esme said and I quickly ran out of that torture room.

"EMMETT McCarty CULLEN!" Rosalie yelled from down the hall.

I cringed as I remembered the milk incident. I was really having a bad day. I jumped out the window, running into the forest. I heard her following me but after a while, her footsteps disappeared.

I searched around, fighting with a couple bears, having a drink or two. Eventually, I decided to go back.

"Rosie is definitely going to kill me" I told the dead bear as I slowly ran back.

I came in through a window and didn't see her anywhere. I walked slowly through the house to my room. I opened the door slowly, slipping quietly inside. When I realized it was empty, I relaxed, letting out a sigh of relief.

Suddenly, the door closed and a hand caught my ear.

"We have lot's to talk about Emmett" Rosalie said as she dragged me outside.

I whined softly, knowing the rebuke was coming.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! I know, It's late and it's a tad bit short. I'm sorry. I wrote everything on my dads laptop because my computer was malfunctioning and then my dad went ona buisness trip OUT OF THE COUNTRY! I didn't have any of my files, at all or internet. I liked this chapter. It's a like . . . a delelted scene from the story of Emmett's . . . homework. You know what comes after this. LOCKDOWN! Mwuahahahhahaha! So . . . who's seen eclipse? I saw it and thought it was amazing! They stuck to the book a lot ans that made me happy. They even got the good parts, like talking in the campsite while Bella sleeps and graduation and . . . everything! I loved it. Well, I hope to have more steady update now, you know, with summer and all. **

**Happy 4th of July! (for those who celebrate it)**

**Luv Ya!**

**JMFanficQueen**


	14. The Lock In  Part I

Chapter 14:

Lock-in : Part I

EPOV

I was watching Bella sleep when Emmett suddenly started yelling.

"Wha . . . what?" Bella said as she jolted awake. "What's going on . . . oh! I fell asleep here. Charlie—"

"Alice took care of it" I assured her, smiling at the relief on her face. "Hurry up and get ready, we don't have much time" I told her.

She nodded, hoping out of bed quickly.

"Wait Bella" I called, running up to her.

She looked at me confusedly.

"Good morning" I said as I kissed her.

"Good morning" she said dizzily after I pulled away. "I'll go get ready" she said as she stumbled over to the bathroom.

I quickly got ready in Emmett's room and headed down to make Bella breakfast. By the time she came done, the French toast had just finished being done.

"Oh, that smells good" she said as she sat down.

I handed her the maple syrup and a glass of milk. She took a bite and moaned.

"How can you cook so well?" she asked as she quickly took a bite.

"Food Channel" I said with a shrug and she suddenly started laughing.

"I just . . . can't imagine you watching food channel . . . with an apron . . . chopping . . . " she fell out of her seat.

I ran over to her and caught her before she hit the ground.

"Bella, you're going to choke stop laughing" I told her, though I had a smile of my own.

"And stuffing . . . turkey!" she said as I new round of laughter rolled through her.

I looked at her confusedly before looking at the French toast. I saw a white powder on top . . . I didn't add on powdered sugar . . .

"EMMETT!" I yelled out and Bella began laughing again.

"You yelled!" she said as she laughed

"Enjoy!" he called as he ran off.

I rolled my eyes as I tried to get Bella to calm down. When everything failed, I did the only thing I could think of, I sprayed her with ice-cold water.

"Whoa!" she said as she blocked her face. "Edward! What was that for" she said as she shook the water from her hair and picked up her fork.

"Don't eat that!" I said as I took her plate and gave her new French Toast.

"What's going on Edward?" she asked.

"Emmett. Laughing powder. You really don't want to know the rest" I said and she nodded as she began eating again.

She had just finished when Carlisle came down. His gaze was on Bella's dripping face for a minute and then, he turned and looked at me knowingly.

"Edward" he said, glancing upstairs.

"Carlisle, is this really necessary?" I asked and he just nodded.

"What's going on now?" Bella asked.

"I'm being locked in a room with Emmett" I said and she suddenly remembered.

"Oh come on Carlisle, have some compassion" Bella said.

"I'm just following the doctor's orders" he said with a smile.

"But you're a doctor!" she said and he just began laughing.

He led us up to the 3rd floor to one of the storage rooms. The only difference, it had a steel door.

"Okay, I don't think this is really necessary" I said exasperated.

"Alice says it will be" he said as he opened the door to reveal that the window had been shut with steel too. I sighed loudly.

"I'll see you in a couple hours" I said as I kissed Bella.

"Edward, your phone" Carlisle asked and I resignedly handed it over.

"Have fun with Alice" I told Bella.

"Oh joy, shopping" she said as she hugged me . . . and slipped _her _phone into my back pocket.

I smiled and then went in and sat on one of the two pillows on the floor. I had to admit, Alice was thorough. The walls were completely white and nothing else was in sight except the _white _pillows and 2 big wooden, white columns and . . . a bed.

"Alice . . . what's the bed for?" I asked.

"I was busy so I just left it, I mean, you guys aren't going to _do_ anything with it so—"

"Ugh, don't even go there Alice"

"I already went through enough last night Carlisle! Come on! Please!" Emmett whined.

Suddenly, the door was slammed open and Emmett was pushed inside. The door was then immediately shut and I heard the mechanical locks settling into place. A red timer above the door flashed suddenly and then displayed 24:00:00.

It began counting down slowly. 23:00:59. 23:00:58. 23:00:57. 23:00:56. 23:00:55.

"Alice! It's only 3 hours!" I called but I just her a small laugh.

"Payback!" she called and then switched the mike off.

"ALICE! YOU BETTER NOT LOCK ME IN HERE FOR 24 HOURS OR I _WILL_ GO CRAZY!" Emmett yelled really loudly but there was no response. "ALICE!" Emmett yelled as he slammed against the wall but there still was no response.

"Oh stop it, we're stuck here for . . . 23 hours 57 minutes and 34 seconds" I said.

He growled loudly and began muttering. I ignored him for about an hour until he began pounding on the walls.

"Will you just sit still!" I yelled at him.

I couldn't get my thoughts off Bella.

"Oh, look who's getting all cranky now" Emmett said.

"I'm not—" I was interrupted by my but suddenly vibrating.

I took out Bella's phone and it showed a picture of me, saying I was calling.

"Edward?" Bella whispered.

"Oh Bella!" I said in relief. "How are you?" I asked.

"Terrible" She muttered.

"I'm sorry love but they put 24 hours on the timer" I said. "So I can't help you"

"I know! I thought it was crazy. Carlisle and Esme left to hunt before I could tell them and now Alice is trying to fly me to the American Mall! I said I had to use the bathroom and snuck out the back door" she said and then took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry love" I said. "Emmett here is having a total meltdown"

"At least I'm not crazy enough to imitate Bella and talk to myself as if I—YOU HAVE A PHONE!" he yelled suddenly.

"Why don't you catch a taxi?" I suggested to Bella as I ran around the room, trying to avoid Emmett.

"GIVE ME THE PHONE EDWARD OR I SWEAR I WILL BURN YOUR PIANO!" Emmett yelled.

"I made it fireproof" I told him. "You can head to your house and I'll meet up with you as soon as I can" I told her.

"I swear ****************"

"Wow . . . what's with Emmett?" she asked and I heard a car pull up in the background.

"As I said, breakdown. I'll—" Emmett launched himself on me. "Oof"

"Rose? Bella! Get Rose please" he said.

"Bella!" I heard Alice shriek. "Where are you going"

"Uhoh . . ." Bella said and I heard her running.

"Nice try Bella" I heard Rose say and then heard kicking.

"Bella, can you—"

"Rose? Rosie? Are you there? Help me I'm—"

"Bella? Are you—"

We began struggling back and forth for who got the phone. At the moment, I had the front of the phone and Emmett had the back. We both pulled and the phone exploded.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hahaha! I loved this ending. The Lock In - Part II coming soon So, Hey guys! Whats up? I'm enjoying my summer, it's so amazing to know I don't have anything due or I don't have to get up. Eclipse was amazing but I heard that Breaking Dawn might no come out until summer of next year! Sadly, I only have one month but I intend to enjoy it to the fullest extent. Look at this saying one of my reviewers sent me: Friends help you write and update your stories. Best friends transfer all your stories to a hardrive and then erase them from your computer to give yyou a heart attack. **

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	15. The Lock In Part II

Chapter 15:

Lock-in: Part II

"Now look at what you did!" I said frustratedly as I threw the broken phone on the floor.

"I did? You pulled on it!"

"So did you! And it was mine . . . well Bella gave it to me but still . . . in the first place"

"You know there's this thing called sharing!" he yelled as he sat in a corner pouting.

"Immature baby" I muttered.

"At least I'm not an over protective lunatic" he shouted from his corner and I laughed.

I really think Emmett had ADHD. He just . . . he couldn't do nothing . . . he had to be doing something, it drove him crazy if he didn't. I began pacing around the room, 22 hours and 34 minutes without Bella knowing she's in torture . . . I can't, it would drive me absolutely crazy.

"Stop pacing!" Emmett yelled.

"Well, at least I'm doing something, not just rocking back and forth in a fetal position" I retorted.

"It's comfortable" he muttered.

"Ugh! No, find some other entertainment that isn't at my expense" I said as he began visualizing Rosalie.

"Fine" he said as he went up to the column. "Let's see who can make the best totem pole in the fastest time" Emmett challenged me.

I thought it was absolutely ridiculous but it wasted time so I agreed.

"Ready, set, go!" he yelled and we started carving.

Paint and wood was flying everywhere. We finished at the exact same time and they both looked pretty good so Emmett declared it a tie. I began to slowly scrape away at the wood. I had about 2 hours just doing that when Emmett suddenly jumped up

"Try to make small chips out of that wood" he said excitedly.

"What?" I said but he was thinking about Rose so I stayed out of his head.

"Just do it" he said.

I split my column into 10 tiny columns. Emmett meanwhile was ripping up the floor boards.

"What are you—"

"Chips!" he yelled.

"Hand me a piece of floor board" I said, rolling my eyes.

He threw one over and I easily. I sanded the tiny columns out with the wood until I had ten small rods. I went over to the bed and tore off one of the metal hinges and began slicing the rods into chips. After about an hour I had 3,360 chips.

"Here are the chips Emmett" I said.

"And here are the cards" Emmett said excitedly as he turned to face me.

Somehow, out of floorboards he had made 52 playing cards and they had all the symbols and numbers inscribed.

"Poker Time" he said excitedly.

I shook my head in amazement.

"I knew you had a brain in there somewhere, even if it is microscopic" I joked and he pushed me harshly.

We spent about an hour and half marking all the chips but finally, we were ready. Emmett mixed up the cards while I got the chips separated. We spent about 7 hours playing poker and other card games.

I had to admit, even though I probably could've sat patiently for 24 hours, Emmett was helping time pass.

When we had 9 hours left, we stopped playing. Then Emmett came up with another pretty ridiculous idea. I pretty much spent the remaining 9 hours doing ridiculous things Emmett came up with for entertainment. We

1. Drew pictures on the ceiling with wood but we had to jump on the bed to get to the ceiling

2. Made pictures out of feathers

3. Had a sword fight with headboard

4. Had a pillow fight

5. Made a house out of floor board

I mean, this stuff was ridiculous and embarrassing but time passed really quickly.

"Geronimo!" Emmett yelled.

I turned to him like he had truly gone mad and saw the second the clocked ticked down to 00:00:00.

"Finally!" he said as he ran out of the unlocked door.

I followed out right behind him.

"FREEDOM!" he yelled just as Carlisle and Esme came running in. "Oh, sweet freedom!" Emmett said as he fell onto the floor and began to make a snow angel out of air.

"What's wrong with Emmett?" Carlisle said as he and Esme ran up.

"I'll show you" I told them as we ran to the room.

I opened the door and let them in to see.

"Oh. My. Gosh" they said as they saw the room and honestly, I couldn't blame them.

There was wood shavings everywhere, poker chips scattered all around , pictures on the ceiling, broken headboard and a practically completely demolished bed, pulled up floor board, a broken phone, dents in the wall and a huge house made out of wood and floor board.

"What happened" Esme said, completely stunned at the state of the room.

"Well, Alice locked us in here for 24 hours as revenge. We just got out. Emmett obviously has ADHD because he _had _to be doing something so . . . we did. We spent about 7 hours playing poker and other card games. Then, we drew pictures on the ceiling with wood but we had to jump on the bed to get to the ceiling. We also made pictures out of feathers, had a sword fight with headboard, had a pillow fight, made a house out of floor board and made a phone explode" I explained and they started chuckling.

"The second I find Alice, She'll be sorry she locked me in that room" Emmett said.

"Alice!" I said suddenly remembering. "She and Rosalie kidnapped Bella after she locked us in and took her to the American Mall in Minnesota!" I said as I paced, unsure of what to do.

Carlisle eyes widened but then he relaxed and took out his cell phone.

"Carlisle?" Alice asked, in a panicky voice.

"Mary Alice Brandon Cullen, you and Rosalie are to bring Bella back this instant"

"What! But I've only gotten one day of shopping!" She whined.

"Alice, you bring her back right now, you're already in lot's of trouble missy" he said sternly.

"What kind of trouble?" she asked.

_'Edward, can you hand me a phone'_ Carlisle thought.

I nodded and handed him the house phone.

"What? Carlisle! No, don't do this to me!" she whined.

"Hello? Derek? Good Morning, this is Carlisle Cullen . . . yes . . . umm . . . I would like to suspend all of Alice's and Rosalie's accounts and all their credit cards please . . . for how long, ummm, indefinitely for now . . . thank you Derek, have a nice day" he said as he hung up.

"Carlisle!" Rosalie and Alice whined.

"Bring Bella back soon" Carlisle said and he hung up.

I looked at him in surprise.

"She has to learn she can't just lock people up or kidnap people and take them halfway across the country" Carlisle said and I smiled as I headed out to wait for Bella.

I drove to the Port Angeles airport and waiting until her flight got in.

"Bella!" I said in relief when she got out of the terminal.

"I can't walk, my legs have permanent damage" she said and I laughed as I grabbed her small bag and carried her to my car. "You guys are in trouble" I whispered low enough that Bella couldn't hear me but Alice and Rosalie could.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hahahaha, I loved this chapter. The next one is going to be hilarious, I already have it planned out. I loved the ridiculous things they did to make time pass. So, what did you think? You know, there's this little button at the bottom that say _review. _You should click it. The last person that didn't, well, their computer exploded making them lose everything so if I was you, I wouldn't take the chance. =p. ****Anywho, if you're up to see movies, Despicable Me is hilarious and The Sorceross Apprentice is good (I know I spelled it wrong but I found proof that spelling isn't eally that important:**

**Read the following sentence quickly, don't worry if it looks like gibberish, just read it.**

******I Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The ****phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!**

********

**HAhahahahahaha! See?**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	16. Code Red

**IMPORTANT! ALL AUTHORS MUST READ! THERE IS THIS PERSON ON SCRIBD . COM, TEIRNY121, WHO IS COPYING STORIES RIGHT OFF FANFICTION .COM AND PLACING THEM UNDER HER ACCOUNT. pOST THIS ON YOUR UPDATES TO TO WARN YOUR READERS. cHECK OUT HER PROFILE TO SEE IF SHE HAS YOUR STORY. SHE ALREADY TOOK 3 OF MINE, _BROKEN LOVE, GUARDIAN AND TEMPER _TRIP. WATCH OUT.**

**ADDRESS - www(dot)scribd(dot)com / teirney121**

* * *

Chapter 16:

Code Red

BPOV

I couldn't believe after everything that had happened this week, we were once again sitting in the waiting room of Dr. Mental's office. In my opinion, we should just leave and never come back.

"Ah, come in, come in" Dr. Mental said, opening his door.

We all grudgingly went inside. I mean, at least if we were going to have to sit through this, we should at least have a therapist who doesn't need some serious therapy himself.

"Okay, so, how did this week go?" the doctor asked.

"Horrible" everybody said, glaring at the doctor.

You see, after the lock in and all, things started going bad. Rose was angry making Jazz angry making him randomly spurt out emotion. Then, Emmett didn't want to do his bed time exercises so he would run around and force us to do them with him and then there was the burning microwave incident . . .

The doctor began getting uncomfortable under all the intense glared. He kept fidgeting in his chair and a sheen of sweat was coating the top of his head.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?"

"Well, my evil sister locked us in a room with a steel door for 24 freaking hours!" he yelled and the doctors eyes widened.

"She and Rosalie kidnapped Bella and took her to the American Mega Mall" Edward said.

"We were stuck for 24 freaking hours in a room!" he repeated. "We had to actually rip up furniture and make cards and poker chips for something to do!" Emmett yelled.

The doctor eyed Emmett fearfully, sweating freely. I could tell Emmett was really pissed at the doctor right now or really trying to get a message across.

"But you know what the worst of it was, those stupid bedtime exercise! They were torture, the milk was awful and I almost puked after the sandwich, I spewed milk all over Rosie, I got grounded, I was bored out of my mind and I didn't get a wink of sleep!" Emmett yelled.

The doctor shrunk back into his chair, swallowing loudly and wiping his sweat.

"Emmett, I know these new routines may be stressing for you but they're made to—"

"Doc, they do not help" Emmett said and Edward elbowed him. "I can get to sleep by other methods" he said.

The doctors eyes widened and he grabbed the phone.

"I have a code red! 128496! I need help now!" he yelled and we looked at him like he was crazy.

Suddenly, the door burst open and very buff doctors ran in. Dr. Mental pointed and they grabbed Emmett.

"Let me go" Emmett said, pulling hard but without hurting them

"Just let them" Edward said and Emmett growled, letting them grab him tightly.

"Tell me" said one of them.

"He suffers from insomnia. I tried the exercises but he just went crazy and said he had other method. I'm thinking suicide by over dose or other method" Dr. Mental said and the other doctors nodded, dragging Emmett out.

I couldn't help it, I cracked along with everyone in the room. First of all, Emmett is most definitely suicidal . . . and doc, he's sort of already dead. I just couldn't help it.

Tears started flowing freely down my cheeks as I laughed. When I finally got some tiny bit of control over myself, I sat up, wiping away my tears.

"I'm sorry doctor, but just the very idea that Emmett it . . . suicidal . . . is ludicrous" I said as I chuckled.

"Bella, I was trained to detect this type of behavior" he said and saw the obvious amusement still on our faces. "He'll just be put in a padded room with a safety jacket until he is cleared as _safe_. He'll go through questioning, psych evaluations and so on" he explained.

We just stared at him as if he had gone completely mad. Out of everybody in this room, not including the doctor, Emmett had to be the least suicidal. I mean, I love my life! I want it to extend it to eternity with Edward and Emmett could probably be less suicidal than me. If this doctor thinks Emmett is really suicidal . . . well, then his name really fits. Dr. _Mental_.

"Doctor, I assure you 100% my brother is not suicidal, he is the exact opposite" Edward said with a laugh.

"We'll discuss this later. I want to know what happened with the lock-in" he said and Edward and I turned to Alice.

"Well, Alice bought this steel door with a timer lock and replaced the normal door with it. Then, she put 24 hours on the timer and kidnapped Bella and took her across the country to go shopping" Edward explained.

"Alice, why would you do that?" Dr. Mental asked and she sighed, putting on a sad face.

"Bella never likes to go shopping with me and Edward always sides with her so I just took an opportunity" she said.

"You said it was for revenge" Edward said and she glared at him.

"Revenge for what Alice?" the doctor asked.

"Well . . . I . . . "

"Alice, here, we're all friends and we can trust each other" he said and by the look in her eyes, she was about to throw her shoe at Edward.

"Well, the game that had us end up in Walmart which made us end up here . . . well, yeah, it was sort of a game of dares and Edward dared jasper to make me bring out my most precious outfits and then made him burn them!" she wailed. "My most prized outfits! It was terrible so I locked him in for 24 hours" she explained.

"But Alice, it's not right to take people against their will somewhere"

"But she never likes to go shopping!" she wailed.

"Alice, no offense but, no one likes to go shopping with you, it's torture. We walk around for hours and she makes me carry all the stuff. Plus, on top of all that, I don't even like shopping in the first place" I explained. "And then she goes and takes me to the Mall of America! The biggest mall in North America!" I said.

"Hmm . . . I understand. Alice, I think you're obsession with shopping is beginning to cloud your judgment and making you do things that are wrong" the doctor said. "I think we will have to think up a solution for this before it gets out of hand" the doctor said and Alice frowned.

"Okay, well, that seems to be all the time we have today" he said as he checked the clock.

We all stood up eagerly, ready to leave.

We met up with Carlisle outside and he immediately asked what we knew he was going to ask.

"Where's Emmet?"

"Follow me Carlisle" the doctor said as he lead us over to the elevator.

We all crammed in and he pressed the 4. The elevator arrived with a _ding_ on the floor.

"This floor of our building deals with Anger Management and Obsessive Compulsion Disorder Therapy. Yet, we also have a special building behind our main building that can be accessed through here" he said leading us through a hallway to the right.

"This building is made especially for people who have mental problems" the doctor said.

He typed in a key code and let us in. People were yelling and kicking and hitting their heads on padded walls. He led us to padded cell number 23. There, sitting against the wall, frowning was none other than Emmett in a straight jacket.

* * *

**A/N**

**_!WATNING TO ALL AUTHORS!_**

**IMPORTANT! ALL AUTHORS MUST READ! THERE IS THIS PERSON ON SCRIBD . COM, TEIRNY121, WHO IS COPYING STORIES RIGHT OFF FANFICTION .COM AND PLACING THEM UNDER HER ACCOUNT. pOST THIS ON YOUR UPDATES TO TO WARN YOUR READERS. cHECK OUT HER PROFILE TO SEE IF SHE HAS YOUR STORY. SHE ALREADY TOOK 3 OF MINE, _BROKEN LOVE, GUARDIAN AND TEMPER _TRIP. WATCH OUT!**

**ADDRESS - www(dot)scribd(dot)com / teirney121**

**Anyway, now that I got that out, what did you think. I was a little stumped on what to do next and then I saw this cartoon and was inspired! Por Emmett though . . . but hey, the doctor is crazy. Okay, Breaking Dawn is officially being broken up into 2 parts. The first part will premire Around November 2011. The second part will premire in the summer of 2012, that is, if all goes acording to plan. I can't wait, I'm so excited. I can't wait to get Eclipse either. Then I have a long Twilight marathon at my house. **

**_Curse of the Fanfic Review -_ Review you could be one of the unfortunate who's computer explodes . . . who would take the chance. Besised, you get cookies!**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	17. The Psychiatric Ward

Chapter 17:

The Psychiatric Ward

When Carlisle saw him, his eyes widened and his mouth dropped.

"Doctor, can I ask what my son is doing in the psychiatric ward in a padded cell with a straight jacket?" Carlisle asked incredulously.

Emmett began screaming and jumping up and down.

"This is so stupid, I'm not suicidal. I think you have to go back to med school doc" he yelled.

"Can I get him calmed down please" Dr. Mental said into a speaker and 3 doctors cam into Emmett's cell, one of them holding a syringe.

Emmett rolled his eyes and sat down in the corner with a huff, glaring

"This is what we call a code red 128496. Emmett began yelling about how the sleeping exercises were stupid and how they didn't work. He said he had other ways of going to sleep.

I have been trained to detect his type of suicidal behavior. Normally by gun or over dose and since he's probably taking steroids, they already put his mind on the edge. We called our doctors who took him away.

Don't worry, he is completely safe in the cell, he won't be able to harm himself in any way possible" the doctors explained and I could see Carlisle was clearly thinking the same thing we thought when he said this; he's crazy

"Doctor" Carlisle said slowly. "You think my son is suicidal?"

"Yes sir, it's very common and he's exhibiting all the signs. He will begin psych evaluations in a little while to see how high his suicidal tendency is"

"Doctor, I am a doctor myself, as you know and I'm positive, 100% that Emmett is not suicidal"

"I respect that Dr. Cullen but this is not your field so I would appreciate it if you let a professional handle it. You may leave or wait here in the waiting room" he said motioning towards a door at the end of the hallway.

Carlisle sighed, walking over there with the rest of us in tow.

"I told you Carlisle, that doctor is completely crazy" Rosalie said as she sat down. "Emmett could probably rip the straight jacket straight off and break out of there in a wink" she said and at that second, alarms blared.

We turned to see the red light over Emmett's room flashing brightly. We all ran over quickly to see what the problem was. We maneuvered through the sudden rush of doctors and finally made our way to Emmett's cell.

I quickly saw the problem, Emmett's had ripped his straight jacket right off.

"Now Emmett, calm down, we don't want to have to sedate you" Dr. Mental cooed, taking a step closer.

"First of all doc, I'm calm. Second, I'm not a little kid and third, I refused to be strapped up and threatened like a person who actually has _mental_ problems" Emmett said, standing defensively.

"Emmett, please just stay calm. These nice doctors will help you put on a new jacket" Dr, Metal said slowly, taking another step.

"I am calm and will not go into that stupid jacket for psychos" Emmett said, his voice getting a bit irritated.

"Emmett, it's okay, we won't hurt you, let us help you put this jacket on. It's okay, you'll be safe in it. And then, we'll take you to see some pretty pictures and answer some small questions. It's okay Emmett, I want to be your friend" the Dr. coed again, completely ignoring Emmett's statement.

"Okay, I think you mind need to be strapped in.

"I want to be your friend Emmett" the doctor said, walking up to him and giving him a hug. "NOW!"

Emmett softly tossed the doctor off and then glided to the side, making the other doctors slam into each other.

"Now doctor, it's not nice to invade another person's personal space _or _manipulate them" Emmett said in a baby voice.

I just watched incredulously from outside the room. Life could never be boring with Emmett. More doctors flowed in and Emmett easily dodged them.

"Do you guys really think there is something wrong with me, seriously? If I was suicidal, I could've choked myself, slashed myself with a syringe but no, here I am, happy but pissed off as ever" he said with a smile.

"Emmett Cullen?" Another doctor called from the door.

"That's me!" he said proudly, raising his hand and shaking it in the air.

"Okay, I'm here for your psych evaluations"

"Doc . . . well, I don't know your name so doc, do I look suicidal to you?" Emmett said.

"No, but this is my job so come on" the other doctor said.

"If he passes these tests, will he be free to leave?" Carlisle asked, appearing suddenly next to the doctor, making him jump.

"Well with Dr. Mental's signature, yes"

"Emmett, just go, we'll be waiting" Carlisle said and Emmett sighed loudly, following after the doctor.

"Wow . . . Emmett . . . life is always interesting" I said as Edward draped his arms over my shoulders.

"Yes, he always finds _some_ way to get into trouble" Edward said with a sigh but the smile was still there.

"Well, one thing is for sure, Dr. Mental is going to be out for a while" I said with a laugh, pointing into the cell.

It seemed that when one of the doctors fell, their syringe accidentally got inserted into Dr. Mental's arm.

"Emmett . . . "Carlisle sighed loudly as he helped some of the other doctors put Dr. Mental on a cot until he woke up.

"What are they doing?" I asked Edward as they stuck him with a nother syringe.

"They're giving him some medication to speed up the waking process but—"

"For now he is in la-la land" I ended and Edward nodded, laughing at my choice of words.

"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz" I mumbled to myself making Edward laugh again.

"Those evals take about 2 hours so we have time. Bella, you should call Charlie so he doesn't get worried" Carlisle said as he walked over to us.

"Okay" I said as I took out my phone and dialed Charlie's number, walking into another room.

"Bella? Are you okay? Has something happened?" Charlie said, getting more anxious with every word.

"I should call more often" I murmured to myself before turning back towards the phone. "I'm fine dad, relax. There was a little incident at therapy today so we'll have to stay a little longer, like a couple hours" I explained.

"What happened?" he said, a smile now in his voice. "Did you fall, trip, or did that specialist pay you another visit?"

I sighed angrily as I blushed.

"Why would you think something to me?" I said, irritated.

"I'm sorry honey but . . . just tell me what happened to you" he said and I growled.

It was so easy to assume that what happened had happened to me. I decided to play with him for a while.

"Well . . . it's hard to explain so I'll give you some key words. Suicide, psychiatric ward, straight jacket, padded cell, syringe and sedate" I said.

"Wait . . . WHAT!" he yelled into the phone.

"I'm off to see the wizard dad, the wonderful wizard of oz . . . oh, this cell is nice, though my nose is really itchy. I wish I could . . . just . . . scratch" I said in a sort of dragged voice.

Charlie began having a complete panic attack on the other side.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hahahahaha! I absolutely loved this chapter. At first, I was stumped on what to write next but then this whole psychiatric Ward thing came to me and viola, tears of laughter coming from your eyes. h, about the author alert, still be careful about your stories being stolen but I'm happy to announce that I got her account deleted. teirney121, thief, no longer exists. Movie Recomndation - Charlie St. Cloud. It's really good. i even teared up in some parts. I can't believe summer is almost over. Only 2 weeks left. *sigh* the good things never last. Well, enjoy the freedom while you can.**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	18. Failed

Chapter 18:

Failed

"You . . . wizard . . . stay with me Bella . . . BELLA! CARLISLE! ARE YOU THERE? BELLA!" He yelled.

"Dad, relax" I said in my normal voice as Carlisle burst into the room.

"What happened, I was with Dr. Mental when I heard Charlie yelling" Carlisle said, tense.

"Carlisle? How is Bella!" Charlie nearly yelled into the phone.

Carlisle looked at me confused but I just shook my head, trying to hold back my laughter.

"Dad? Are you okay? I'm fine. Maybe _you_ should come to therapy" I said.

"Wait Bella?"

"Yeah"

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah"

"And what about the wizard of oz?" he asked and Carlisle did a double take, now completely baffled.

"The wizard of oz . . . dad, did you eat anything that had anything green on it?" I said, my laughter nearly breaking out.

"I did have some steak with some weird relish . . . maybe . . . "

"Dad, just lay down. I'll be home in about an hour and a half" I said, a small laugh escaping my lips.

"The wizard . . . The wonderful wizard of oz" Charlie mused and I hung up, collapsing in laughter.

Carlisle was able to catch just before I hit the floor. Edward was the instantly, taking me into his arms.

"Now I feel bad" I said as I laughed. "He probably thinks he's gone off the deep end" I said as I explained to everyone what happened.

They were laughing before I was even half way done.

"Well, it looks like we're stuck here for a while now" I said as I sat next to Edward.

"Well, to pass the time, why don't we play truth or dare?" Alice suggested.

"Alice, have you completely lost your mind? It was because of dares that we're stuck in therapy and consequently, here" I said.

"But it was fun!" she whined.

I rolled my eyes at her face.

"I'm going to get a water, I'll be right back" I said as I left the room with Edward trailing behind.

We went up to Dr. Mental's office to get the water when I noticed somebody else was waiting. I opened the door slowly and peeked inside. My mouth dropped when I saw Mike sitting in the waiting chair, fidgeting.

"Mike, calm down, he'll be here soon. He probably just got held up at his meeting" the receptionist said.

"I can't calm down Sandra. I saw Bella and Cullen kissing today, AGAIN! I'm about to go to Cullen's house and murder him" Mike said.

I turned to Edward, who was glaring at Mike.

"I'd like to see him try" he nearly growled.

"Relax, it's okay" I soothed him, hugging him to me.

"You know, he never learned to control his perverted thoughts" Edward said through his teeth as he wrapped his arms around me

"Come on, let's head back" I said, tugging at his hand.

He glared at Mike for a minute longer before letting me pull him away. For the next 2 hours, I didn't do anything. I sat with Edward in his arms on one of the chairs in the waiting room.

Of course, I was fully entertained. It was very hard to be bored with Edward constantly playing with my hair and my fingers or humming his songs in my ear or kissing my head. It was very hard to even remember to breathe.

About half way through the waiting period, Dr. Mental started waking up . . . but he was talking all weird and eventually just fell asleep. Eventually, they let Emmett out of the testing facility.

"Hahaha!" He yelled, running out.

Dr. Mental woke with a start and jumped off of the cot.

"Emmett, where is your jacket, and my friends?" he asked him softly.

"Hahaha! Guess what! I completely failed all your tests. I'm 100% _not_ suicidal" Emmett said, shoving the papers at the doctor. "Can I go home now?" Emmett begged.

"Actually, I think that for your safety, you should stay with us a while" Dr. Mental said and my eyes widened.

As in . . . Emmett stay here?

"I failed your tests doc, I'm not suicidal" Emmett said.

"Doctor, my son is sane. He can go home. Now please sign the release forms" Carlisle asked.

"No Dr. Cullen. I will not be responsible for another life that was taken" Dr. Mental replied sternly.

"This is ridiculous" Jasper said, taking the forms from Carlisle's hand. "Sign them" he ordered.

Dr. Mental's eyes began to widen and his knees began to shake. A sheen of sweat broke out on his forehead and his hands trembled. I watched, feeling pity towards the doctor.

"Doctor?" Jasper asked. "Sign it"

"Y-e-e-s-s-s. O-f-f-f-f-f c-c-o-o-u-u-r-r-s-s-e-e" he stuttered as he quickly signed the papers.

"Thank you doctor" Jasper said as he gave the papers to Carlisle. "Let's go" he muttered.

We walked out of the psychiatric ward quickly.

"Jasper, you shouldn't have done that to the doctor. He look petrified" Carlisle said.

"I just showed him that sometimes, you should let things go, it's for your own good" he said, climbing in with Alice.

"I should head home. Charlie probably. . . who knows how he's doing" I said and Edward laughed, opening the door for me.

The drive was quiet but not awkward. We got home in record time, thanks to Edward's manic driving.

"I wonder how he's doing . . . maybe I shouldn't have done that" I muttered, regretting it.

"He's fine, don't worry" Edward said as he held the front door open. "But he's cooking" he added and my eyes widened.

"Dad?" I called anxiously as I entered.

The house smelled like bread and burning plastic. I ran to the kitchen quickly to find Charlie standing by the stove.

"Dad! What are you doing" I said as I ran to him.

"Relax Bells, I'm just making grilled cheese sandwiches" he said but I didn't relax.

I lifted the bread slightly and saw the cheese, _still wrapped in the plastic_!

"Dad, you have to take the cheese _out_ of the plastic" I said as I threw away the sandwich and began making another one.

He began muttering as he took out some beer from the fridge.

"Oh, good afternoon Edward" Charlie said, slightly embarrassed, as he realized that Edward was here.

"Good Afternoon Charlie" Edward said, polite as ever.

Suddenly, I remembered my earlier worries.

"Dad, are you okay, you seemed . . . weird earlier"

"I'm fine kiddo, just probably the relish. It wore off, though I had the weirdest dream . . . " he trailed off and I laughed as I took the sandwiches out of the pan.

"One _edible_ grilled cheese sandwich" I said with a laugh as I handed him his plate.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! So what did you think? Emmett is finalyl let out of that stupid Ward. Charlie is sane, no worries, it was _'only the _relish' I have the best ideas for the upcoming chapter. When I first wrote this story, I didn't want it to be just everything happening in hte therapy office, I wanted to include wheat happened outside. Hteir ractions. But no worries, I'll balance incredible laugh that bring tears to your eyes . . . or maybe recomendation: When a Stranger Calls. It's a good, suspensful movie. I'd like to thank my best friend in the whole wide world, Nessie96 for always encouraging me,. Check out her stories. Sadly . . . school start in about a weeK :( *sigh* back to homework and alarm clocks. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Reviews= chocolate chip cookie**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	19. Breakdown

Chapter 19:

Breakdown

Charlie blushed slightly as he picked up the sandwich and took a bite. Edward had, of course, excused himself and was currently in the living room pretending to watch TV. I ate my sandwich quickly, trying to get to Edward as soon as possible.

I chugged down my milk as quick as I could and began washing off my dishes. Charlie was taking his time so I leaned against the counter and began tapping my fingers against the counter. Finally, he leaned back finishing his drink.

"Ah, that sure hit the spot" he said as I picked up the dishes.

I walked quickly to the sink and Edward already there, a dishtowel in his hands. Charlie got up and lumbered over to the TV as he prepared himself for the game. I washed the plates quickly, handing them to Edward who had them dried and put away in seconds.

"So, what do you want to do tonight?" Edward asked as he put the last plate away.

I began thinking when suddenly, his phone rang. He grabbed it quickly, putting it to his ear. He talked quickly; way too quickly for me to understand. After a minute, he hung up.

"Emmett's wants me to head over and Alice wants to talk to you" he said but he was frowning.

"I guess I'm heading to your place" I said with a smile.

He smiled crookedly; effectively taking my breath away, as he began walking towards the door.

"Dad, I'm heading to Edward's house, I won't be home too late" I called and heard a slight grunt in response.

"Come on" he said, noiselessly opening the door for me.

"Thank you" I said as I pecked him quickly on the lips.

The rain tonight was ice cold, biting at my bare skin. I ran quickly to his car, praying not to trip. But, luck wasn't on my side and I tripped right next to the door. I was able to grab the frame just in time.

I slipped in quickly, reveling at the heat and the sweet smell in the car. Edward was already there and the second I closed my door, he took off.

"What's wrong" I asked, looking at the frown lines on his face.

"Nothing I guess . . . I just, have an uneasy feeling about this" he murmured as he turned onto the winding drive.

He arrived at the house minutes later. I had just taken off my seat belt when he was there, holding the door open for me. I smiled as I took his hand, letting him lead me out. He grabbed me up bridal style, running me quickly to his porch.

"I didn't want you to have wet clothes and maybe get sick" he said and I rolled my eyes as I walked into his house.

"I'm not _that_ delicate"

"Bella!" Alice called, running over to me. "Guess what?" she said, her eyes sparkling.

I knew that expression.

"Oh no! No, no, no, no, NO! I'm not going shopping with you Alice!" I said in horror, remembering my little cross country adventure from a few days ago.

"Please Bella" she begged brining out the pleading puppy dog eyes

"Alice" I groaned, looking away.

"Alice, last time I checked, Carlisle had canceled all of your accounts" Edward reminded her and her mouth dropped.

"Carlisle!" she whined loudly.

Carlisle came running down immediately and by the look on his face, he'd heard the whole conversation.

"Carlisle, please, Carlisle PLEASE!" she begged, dropping to her knees and tugging on his legs. "PLEASE!"

I think we all looked pretty incredulous as we saw Alice.

"Alice, I'm sorry but you have to learn your lesson" Carlisle said, trying to get her to stand up.

"PLEASE!" she whined as Jasper ran over, pulling her up and encircling her in his arms.

Suddenly, Carlisle phone rang.

"NO! DON'T ANSWER THAT!" she screeched, trying to get out of Jasper's hold.

Carlisle sighed once before flipping open his phone

"Dr. Cullen here, how may I help you?"

"Ah, Dr. Cullen, it's me, Dr. Mental" I heard.

Carlisle looked at us confused as he put the call on speaker.

"Good evening doctor. To what do I owe this call?"

"It's just, with Emmett and the ward and everything, I forgot to talk to you about something very important" Dr. Mental said and Alice whined softly.

By now, everyone was circled around the phone.

"You see, along with Emmett, we were also talking about Alice today. She seems to have a severe obsession with shopping. This can become a big problem because it is now clouding her judgment and leading her to make very bad decisions"

"I see I have been a little worried about that myself" Carlisle said, his eyes flashing to a struggling Alice.

"I see, so, I was thinking of ideas and I believe the problem is that she gets too much liberty in her choices and she has begun to overdo it. I think it will have a very good effect if Alice doesn't go shopping for 3 weeks" he said.

Carlisle covered the speaker just as Alice screamed.

"WHAT! IS HE CRAZY! HE HAS GONE ABSOLUTELY MAD! HE DOESN'T KNOW ME, HE CAN'T JUST BAN ME FROM SHOPPING!" she yelled

"I think this will give her a chance to explore other forms over entertainment and realize her life isn't only about fashion and shopping"

"Okay, I will put that plan into action as soon as possible. Thank you doctor"

"You're welcome Carlisle, good night"

"Have a good night" Carlisle said just as he hung up.

"CARLISLE! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!" Alice screeched having a total meltdown. "I CAN'T _**NOT**_GO SHOPPING FOR 3 WEEKS! I'LL DIE!" she wailed. "PLEASE CARLISLE!'" she cried, curling up into a ball and sobbing loudly.

"Alice, the doctor is right. Shopping has become of bad obsession for you. You got yourself into this because of shopping so now, you have to deal with the consequences" Carlisle said softly as he kneeled in front of Alice. "Alice?"

But Alice wasn't responding. She just sat in a ball, rocking back and forth and saying:

"Shopping, no, die, shopping, no, die, shopping no, die"

"Carlisle, I think she's in shock" Rosalie said softly.

"Alice, honey, baby, it's okay, it's okay" Jasper murmured as he sat with her, rubbing her arms and kissing her constantly.

Slowly, everyone began disperse, leaving to do their own things.

Suddenly, Edward whipped his head towards Emmett.

"That's a bad idea" he said.

"No, it's called getting even" Emmett replied. "You coming?"

Edward shook his head quickly and Emmett shrugged. Suddenly, Alice jumped up.

"I'm coming" she said, her eye blazing with fury. "He's going to pay"

"Alice honey, what's going on?" Jasper asked, nervous.

"I'm just going for a run with Emmett" she said as they disappeared out the front door.

"What's going on?" Jasper and I asked Edward at the same time.

"They're going to pay Dr. Mental a little visit" he murmured softly and my eyes widened.

"Are they crazy? Carlisle will—"

"I know" Edward said in a voice so soft that it made me feel like I was just screaming. "I knew that even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to talk either of them out of it. Emmett and Alice are severely pissed at doctor mental and nothing is going to stop them" he whispered and my eyes widened.

I had a feeling Dr. Mental was going to regret taking us in as his patients . . . big time.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys? So what did you think? Almost forgot about Alice there for a minute. I have the draft of the next chapter already planned. It's going to be fun to write. Alice, had a total break down of course, because of 3 weeks of no shopping. Hmm . . . . I can definetly elaborate on this . . . fun. Ugh . . . anyway, school starts in 2 1/2 days! Ugh! They got my schedule wrong so i have to go fight it out with the office . . . again . . . for the 3rd year in a row. *sigh* Anyway, have anyof you seen the preview for the new movie: Vampire Sucks? It's a completely and total insult to The Twilight Saga but it look so hilarious. ! I watched all the preview and was litterly on my floor laughing with tears flowing out of my eyes. there's this one scene (btw, it seems they mixed Twilight and New MOon into 1 movie) where a vampire is going to attack Bella and Jacob morphs to protect her . . . INTO A CHIHUAHUA!****! HE MORPHED INTO A FREAKIN cHIHUAHUA! tell me you aren't laughing. look them up on you tube and watch them all. i swear you'll becrying w/ laughter.**

**Watch Them!**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	20. Mission: Revenge on Dr Mental: SUCCESS

Chapter 20:

Mission Revenge on Dr Mental: Success

"You don't think they'll kill him, do you?" I asked Edward.

Alice and Emmett had left a couple hours ago so Edward had driven me home. Right now, I was curled against his side.

"I don't think they'll go that far" he said as he tucked the blanket around me. "But I'm pretty sure Dr. Mental is going to regret ever taking us in"

I shuddered as I thought of all the possibilities. They were endless. Dr. Mental was sure in for a surprise. I snuggled closer to Edward and tried to sleep but it seemed sleep was avoiding me. After about 20 minutes, I began losing my patience. I was tired and it was nearly 11:30 but I couldn't fall asleep.

"Bella, relax" Edward said, sensing my restlessness. "I'm sure the Dr. Mental can take care of himself" he tried to comfort me.

Still, flashes of newspapers circled around in my head. **Psychiatric Doctor Missing From Home, Taken In The Dead Of Night. **Then, 14 days later: **Missing Doctor Found in a Village in Saudi Arabia.**

"Well, maybe not but I'm sure Alice and Emmett won't go too far, they have to keep it sort of small scaled or Carlisle will . . . "he trailed off."Just relax" he breathed in my ear.

He rubbed my back softly as he hummed my lullaby. As worried as I was, my body began to slowly relax until finally, I fell into a dreamless sleep. They very last thing I remember thinking before I went under was:

_'How bad can it _**really**_ be?'_

"Bella? Honey, wake up?" Charlie said as he shook my shoulder.

"Dad? What Happened!" I said, shooting out of bed.

"Hurry up and get ready, there is something I think you should see" he said and I turned pale.

What could've happened? Mom . . . Edward . . . Jake . . .

? ! ? ! ? !

He closed the door and I began hyperventilating. I walked over to my shower shakily. It took me a couple tries just to get the water turned on. I took a shower hastily, in a hurry to get downstairs.

I slipped into some jeans and I shirt quickly while I toweled through my hair. I brushed my hair and I stuck my feet in my sneakers. I grabbed my phone and headed downstairs quickly.

Of course, I tripped on the last step and fell flat on my face. I scrambled up, brushing the dirt off my jeans.

"Dad? Dad?" I called.

"In here Bells" he called from the TV.

I ran over, my breathing ragged.

"What happened? What do I need to see?" I said but he just pointed to the screen as he raised the volume

"In other news, as we reported earlier, this morning Sandra Stevenson, the secretary of Dr. Sheldon Mental made a shocking discovery. As she came in for her usual workday, she noticed Dr. Mental hadn't clocked in.

She thought he might just be sick and went to her desk as she prepared for her day. When his early 6:30am client arrived, she became worried. It was then, that she heard it. Buzzing, sort of like a hive of bees.

Confused, she knocked on Dr. Mental's door. That's where the sound seemed to be coming from. Sandra, who is well aware of Dr. Mental's fear of bees, went in quickly. What she saw in front of her was shocking.

Dr. Mental, who was in his pajamas, was gagged and tied to a chair. The office and Dr. Mental himself were completely covered in flowers and honey. But that wasn't the most shocking part. The office was filled with over 600 bees!

The client, John Peppermint, who was waiting spoke with our reporters this morning.

"It was crazy. I mean, Dr. Mental's never late so it was weird when he wasn't there. I faintly heard some buzzing but I ignored it. I remember Sandra worriedly knocking on Dr. Mental's door.

She opened it and what happened was by far the last thing I expected. Hundreds of bees flew out of the office, crowding into the soft room. I opened the windows and some of them left but they seemed to be attracted back into the room" he said.

"Yes" Sandra cut it. "It was terrible. Dr. Mental was shaking violently, tears falling from his eyes, he was sweating profusely and his eyes showed nothing but pure fear. I wanted to help him but there were just so many bees! I had never seen so many in my life! I immediately called the authorities" she ended.

"Paramedics arrived shortly after and transported Dr. mental to the hospital. There was no damage though they think he might be in shock and becoming overly paranoid. A team of Apiologists, also known Melittlologist or people who study bees, were brought to the scene.

They determined that all the bees were a species of native bees, which don't sting. A team of Apiarists or beekeepers were brought in to capture the bees and release them into the wild.

Investigators believe Dr. Mental was taken from his home between the house of 7 and 10pm. He was then deposited into his office. It was determined Dr. Mental was brought before all the flowers and honey and bees were brought in.

The captors made Dr. Mental watch as his worst fear came and then let him live in it for almost 12 hours. Investigators have no leads to who it was. There is no evidence, no sign of a struggle, nothing.

The local police have ruled it out as a gang prank. Whatever it was or whatever message was being delivered, Dr. Mental heard it loud and clear. Because of this cruel prank, Dr. Mental will be kept in the hospital for the next 5 weeks. This is Sally, with Chanel 5's morning news. Stay tuned for more updates on this foul, cruel prank" the news lady said.

I stared, wide-eyed and open mouthed at the TV. Oh. My. Freaking. GOSH! Emmett and Alice . . . kidnapped . . . bees . . . gagged . . .

! ! ! ! ! ! !

"I can't believe . . ." I trailed off.

"I know. Kids these days. I'm heading up county later to see if I can lend a hand. Maybe we can catch them" Charlie said as he heaved himself up from the couch.

I highly doubted the culprits would be caught . . . ever.

He had his fishing clothes on and I finally saw the cooler and the fishing pole by the door.

"I'm going fishing with Harry and Billy today. I should be home before dinner" Charlie said and I nodded mutely.

I still couldn't believe it.

"Bells?"

"Uh, yeah, have fun dad" I said as I began making my breakfast.

He sauntered out the door slowly carrying all of his equipment.

"Let me help you with that Charlie" I heard Edward say.

I walked to the door and saw Edward easily placing all the equipment in the trunk of the cruiser.

"Thank you Edward. I'll see you kids later" he called as he backed out and headed towards La Push.

Once he was out of sight, I threw myself into Edward's arms.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! So, what did you think? I loved the revenge part! I had a million idea and then slowly the began to piece together and viola. Revenge. MWahahahaha, poor Dr. Mental. Next chapter I will include either Alice's or emmett's point of view on the revenge. It should be awesome. Anyway, school started this week for me. I finally got to see my friends agains which was awesome and the teachers were really nice and funny. In a way, I'm sort of glad to be going back to school. Hey, did any of you catch vampires suck? It came out Wednesday. I'm hoping to see it my BFFL when it comes out in DVD. I can't wait, it looks so freaking FUnny! *sigh* Anyway, you guys should check it out**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	21. Supplies and Disguises

Chapter 21:

Supplies and Disguises

"Good morning" he chuckled as he wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry I had to leave but Charlie was coming" he said and I nodded.

"Emmett and Alice . . ." I trailed off, shaking my head. "I feel bad for Dr. Mental"

"You saw" Edward said and I nodded; pointing to the TV where they were still talking about it.

Edward nodded quickly, glancing away.

"Carlisle's furious. He already knows it was them" he said softly.

"They aren't back yet?" I said, confused.

"No, I think they're hoping Carlisle might calm down a bit if they wait but I think it's just making him angrier" Edward said and I sighed.

Poor Dr. Mental.

"I think that wasn't very smart of them. I mean, know Carlisle is going to make them even more miserable than they already are going to be" I said and Edward nodded thoughtfully.

"I know . . . but sometimes revenge just takes over" he said as he took me into his arms.

Suddenly , he stiffened.

"What wrong?" I asked worriedly as I turned in his arms.

His eyes were tight and his eyebrows pulled together in concentration. So quickly I felt my stomach drop, he picked me up and slung me on his back. I scrambled for a second before I was able to strongly lock my arms and legs around his body.

"Edward, what's going on?" I asked, panic in my voice.

"Nothing" he said and I huffed. "They're home" he murmured.

My gasp got stifled by the sudden rush of the wind. The soft rhythm of Edward's running erased my worries momentarily and I felt a smile spreading on my face. I held on tighter as the wind came harder. IN minutes, we were at his house.

The second it came into view, Edward stopped. I stiffly unlocked my grip, sliding my legs slowly down. Now that the exhilarating run was over, my worries began to come back. Edward wrapped his arm tightly around my waist.

"It looked like you were having fun" he whispered in my ear and I smiled slightly at his attempt to distract me.

"I always love it when you run" I told him as we walked.

"Really?" he said mischievously.

I turned towards him suspiciously just as he scooped me up in his arms and flew in the house. My legs felt like jelly in the sudden rush and I was out of breath. He chuckled as he put me down slowly.

"Ahh!" I complained as my legs gave away under me.

Edward quickly caught my before I touched the floor. I looked up to see Carlisle running down.

"What's wrong?" he said, pulling me towards him.

"No!" I said, my face scrunching up.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Carlisle asked worriedly as he walked towards me.

"No, don't make me move" I said trying to stand as still as possible while still leaning on Edward. "My legs . . . my feet . . . a million needles . . . fell asleep" I said as I slowly trying to stand upright. "Oh!" I said as I felt pain shoot up my leg. "I'll just stand still for a while" I decided

Edward chuckled as he wound his arm tightly around my waist and began to move.

"What! What are you doing?" I asked.

"Helping you wake up your legs" he said as he supported most of my weight. Keeping his arm around me, he helped me wobble towards the couch.

I began laughing at my inability to walk and he quickly joined in.

Every time I tried to take a step, my legs wobbled violently under me. It was like when you shake a piece of cooked spaghetti. Edward sat down quickly, taking into his lap.

"I think you killed my legs" I said as I relaxed into him.

I looked up, my eyes searching for Carlisle.

"Where did he go?" I asked Edward.

"Kitchen" he murmured just as he and Esme came out.

I looked up and what I saw surprised me. For the first time in my life, I saw pure anger in Carlisle's eyes. His face was tight, his lips mashed tightly together as he and Esme waited.

They faced the front door, standing in an almost stiff position.

Edward sighed, shaking his head.

"What?" I asked, turning to him.

"They're hoping to sneak around them" he murmured so softly that even Carlisle didn't hear him.

I heard Carlisle take a deep breath and slip his hands into Esme's. I watched worriedly. The posture Carlisle took— feet slightly apart, shoulders high—obviously showed displeasure. Suddenly, his muscles seemed to tighten. He turned quickly, facing the back of the house.

"I know you two are up there, come down" he said in a steady voice but nothing happened.

"Mary Alice Brandon Cullen! Emmett McCarty Cullen! Come down this instant!" he said in a loud voice though I knew he could've whispered and they would've heard.

I turned to look upstairs but nothing moved. Still nothing moved.

"Where are they?" I whispered to Edward and he nodded his head upstairs.

Wait, if they're upstairs, why not come down. Carlisle obviously knows they're there and they'll just get in more trouble. Why couldn't they just come down?

"You two are in serious trouble! You better come down, _right now_ or I'll have to come up and get you" he said sternly and heard the anger in his voice.

But there was also disappointment, lots of disappointment.

EmPOV:

I parked the Jeep behind the Therapy building and Alice quickly obscured it from any lights or cameras.

"Okay, let's go" she murmured, taking off.

As we ran towards the store, I couldn't help the evil grin that was breaking out on my face. He is going to pay for keeping me locked up, for those stupid exercises, the lock in . . . everything! He is going to pay for everything!

"Okay, let's go. You get some honey, I'll get the flowers" Alice said and I nodded, running into the store.

I grabbed a cart and quickly filled it with all the honey I could find in the store. I left all the shelves bare. I was about to head over to the checkout when Alice bumped into me, her car full of flowers.

"No!" she hissed. "The self-checkout" I nodded, running over.

I checked out all the stuff at super speed, paying quickly.

"Okay, we'll need to go to about 4 more stores" she said.

We quickly ran the carts over to the Jeep, emptying them out. Then, we headed out for the next store. We repeated the process 4 times more before Alice decided we had enough supplies.

"Wait, we need disguises" she said as she walked through Super Target.

I watched—confused— as she quickly packed in some pillows, and XXL T-shirt, a baseball cap, a short blond wig, a curly red wig, big red glasses, a brown hand knit scarf, clown stilts, a large fish tank, a small fan, a bottled water, a green stripped dress, a pair of black pants, polka dot shoes and a plaid headband.

"Come on" she muttered, pulling me along.

We checked everything out quickly and took our stuff over to the Jeep.

"Okay, disguise time" she said and I looked at her warily.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! So, what did you think? Alice in Emmett are in some serious trouble! This next parts, I'm going to make a mix of Alice and Emmett's POV's. I'll show you how they pulled off this hilarious prank. I can't wait! I'm laughing just thinking about it. Anyway, I hope you like it so far. My updates might be up a bit late, like today, because I'm busy with my science fair project. It's long and I can only work on it on the weekends so please bear with me. My updates will always be on the weekend though, i promise**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	22. Revenge Our Way

Chapter 22:

Revenge Our Way

- 30 minutes later -

"Alice, I look absolutely ridiculous" I complained as I looked at myself.

She had made me pt on the huge shirt and then stuffed it full of pillows. Then, she had put a wig on me, the stupid red one she bought. On top of that, she added the hat. I looked like an obese red head. It felt so _wrong_!

APOV

He thought he . . . he just looked like a big ball with hands and legs and a tiny head. What I'm wearing . . . it's hideous.

"You look ridiculous? Look at me!" I cried "A green stripped dress and black pants with yellow _polka dot_ shoes and a green _plaid _headband! And then big red glasses and this disgusting blond wig . . . ugh!" I shuddered at the thought of how I looked. "I can't believe people dress like this. So, I think I get to take the ridiculous award" I snapped angrily.

I took fashion very seriously and being dressed like a color/fashion blind person made me cranky. He looked at me for a second before laughing. I glared at him and he quickly quieted down. As much as I loathed these disguises, they were necessary to keep our cover.

I walked around a bit and smiled in satisfaction. The stilts worked perfectly. It felt like walking normally, sort of, and it look like normal legs. With the stilts, I was just about as tall as Emmett, which was perfect.

"Now, for the bees" I said, smiling wickedly.

I grabbed the fish tank, the water and the fan from the truck. I grabbed a bottle of honey and poured it all over the tank, making sure it was spread out evenly. I added 3 flowers with lots of pollen just as a safety. I put the batteries in the fan and put it inside of the tank along with the bottled water. Bees need to stay cool and refreshed to survive and/or stay calm.

"Okay, let's go find a hive" I said and we ran off.

It took us about 30 minutes to get to Olympia. Bees didn't really make hives in the forest because it was so wet so we had to go to a bee farm. I ran quickly through the deserted streets until I finally reached the farm. I jumped over the gate, landing easily on the other side. We found the closest hive and ran over.

"Dang, those are a lot of bees" Emmett whispered. (There are about 50,000 bees in an average hive)

"We can't get too many because they'll over load his office" I whispered.

I opened the tank; turning on the fan and penning the water and letting it spill out. I opened up the hive and put the tank next to it. The bees didn't come after us, they went for the tank. One or two tried to sting us but they couldn't get through our skin.

"Okay, that's enough" I said once the tank was reasonably full.

Emmett closed it up and I closed the hive quickly, leaving it exactly as it was before. I left four-hundred dollars on the floor as thanks for the bees. We quickly climbed back over and began to run back to Forks.

- 30 minutes later-

"Okay, grab the duct tape, I'll get the rope" I said as I ran to the back to the Jeep.

I slung the rope over my shoulder as I searched for the scarf. I finally found it buried under honey and pulled it out. I looked up but couldn't find Emmett.

"Emmett!" I whispered, frustrated.

"Relax, I'm coming" he said as he softly closed the main entrance doors.

"Where were you" I said as we began running.

"Doing some research" he said as he grabbed a piece of paper from his pocket. "108965 Demens St. Forks, Washington" he read and I began laughing so hard I actually had to start running.

"What?" Emmett asked.

"He lives on _Demens_ Street" I said as I began running again. "Demens means insane in Latin" I got out between my laughs.

Emmett began laughing too, though it was more like roaring.

"Shhh . . . we're here" I said as we crossed onto Demens street.

"Oh my god, this dude has problems" Emmett said as he pointed to a house.

I turned to see 108965, Dr. Mental's house, completely painted in pink with purple flowers. My eyes widened and I collapsed in laughter.

"This is too good" I said as I snapped a couple pictures.

Once my laugh calmed down, we made our way across the street.

"Okay, let's go" I said and we silently slipped in through the open window.

I heard a TV and began following the winding hall towards the noise. I rounded the corner into the living room. I nearly laughed at the sight before me. Dr. Mental was watching a scary movie about vampires.

Oh, the irony. He was curled in a ball on his couch, clutching what seemed to me a giant teddy bear. We glided over slowly until we were right behind him. The music suddenly got really loud and suspenseful.

I held up my hand, telling Emmett to wait. We were going to time this perfectly. The girl in the movie was running in a mad daze around her house. She ran through the hallways, glancing back constantly to try to find him.

She grabbed the knob to a door a grabbed it, shakily unlocking it. She opened the door to her room and let a blood-curling screech as she saw the vampire was waiting for her.

Dr Mental jumped and screamed too, his scream going up many octaves into a girls range. In that exact second, we grabbed him. He let another screech before we gagged him.

He struggled profusely as he tied him up but he was nowhere near strong enough. I squeezed his elbow tightly once and he suddenly went limp. Emmett turned to me incredulously.

"Pressure point" I shrugged as we and carried him out of his house.

Emmett grabbed him tightly but soft as if not to bruise him, as we ran him to the office. We ran him upstairs to his office, setting him on the floor. We secured the chair on the floor and then placed Dr. Mental on it.

We tied him to the chair with intricate knots, testing them all before continuing on. I walked behind him and quickly undid the blindfold. His eyes were wide with fright. I smiled as I leaned close to him.

"You're going to pay" I seethed as Emmett and I ran out.

Quickly we brought up all the flowers, setting them all over Dr. Mental and the office. He looked confused as he looked around. We brought the honey up next, squirting it on everything. He struggled as we squirted his desk and I realized he probably though we were just doing vandalism.

He was dead wrong.

We made sure that he and the whole office were completely coated in honey before heading down again.

"Emmett, go turn on the air conditioning and bring the bees, I'll get the water" I whispered and he nodded.

I went to the vending machine and bought 38 water bottles, paying for them with quarters. Then, I ran back into the room. I opened them, setting them in different places around the room. I felt a cool blast of air hit me in the back and smiled. The AC was on.

"Guess what Dr. Mental, I've got a surprise for you" I said just as Emmett brought in the tank filled with bees.

His eyes went wide and he began struggling wildly in the chair.

"I hope you have fun with my little friends here" Emmett said as he opened the tank.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! What did you think? I loved this chapter! It completely explained everything that happened to Dr. Mental. It does seem curel but think back to all the cruel things he ensued . . . I think it's only fair. I'm working on my Science Fair project and school id getting tough so my updates may be late but bear with me. They're always up on the weekend or Friday. I can't wait until Vampires Sucks comes out on DVD so I can see it. Hey guys, check out this song, Trouble by NeverShoutNever! I love it!**

**Luv Ya!**

**Reviews = (::)**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	23. Caught!

Chapter 23:

Caught

The bees flew rapidly, circling around the room and Dr. Mental. We had picked a species of Native bees that didn't sting, but Dr. Mental didn't know that. He began shrieking as he tried to get loose.

"I hope you have a nice night Dr. Mental" I said as I slipped outside.

Once we were safely in the cover of night, we both cracked up hysterically.

"That's what you get Dr. Mental! Karma sucks!" I said as I laughed more. "Next time don't mess with em or shopping. Shopping is crossing the line!"

"And next time, don't prescribe stupid sleeping exercises or locking me in a room because guess what, I still don't sleep and now, I have even more problems than before. And I'm NOT suicidal!" Emmett proclaimed as he collapsed on the floor in laughter.

The ground shook at his uncontrollable shaking. After about a good, solid hour, our laughter finally faded.

"Okay, we have to get rid of the evidence" I said as I pointed to the Jeep that was filled with empty honey bottles and a fish tank.

Emmett nodded as he climbed into his Jeep. I climbed in beside him and he took off. We visited about 200 dumpsters, dropping of an inconspicuous amount of honey bottles and parts of our disguise in each.

Eventually, at 1am, we finally finished. I sighed as Emmett turned off the Jeep.

"Revenge is awesome" I said as I laughed evilly. "I'm going to go hunt" I said. "I want to see the morning news before we go back"

"I wanna come too" he whined.

"Well then come" I said with a sigh.

Sometimes, I really wonder if there isn't something wrong with Emmett. I jumped out of the Jeep and took off towards the woods

- A couple hours later -

"Come on" I told Emmett as we stepped into the diner.

You could tell it was really old because it still had the sixties counter and chairs and it had a couple juke boxes.

"Hi! How may I help you" The girl asked.

"A table for 2 please" I said.

"Right this way" she said as she led us to a small booth. "Your waiter will be here soon" with one last smile, she scampered off.

I scrunched my nose in disgust at the smell of the greasy breakfasts humans enjoyed so greatly.

"We won't actually eat anything, will we?" Emmett asked as he watched din disgust as a man swallowed 2 slices of bacon.

"No" I said impatiently. "I just want to see the news. Besides, Carlisle was probably already sent to the scene to check out Dr. Mental so he knows and he's probably mad. I'm hoping he'll be so busy at the hospital he'll forget just how upset he was with us" I said.

"EVERYBODY QUIET DOWN!" one of the guys at the bar said as he turned up the volume on the TV.

Suddenly, a news reporter began talking about Dr. Mental. Everybody went dead silent as the listened to the news cast. I put my hand over my mouth so I wouldn't laugh as they showed the story.

When the report was over, I ran out of the diner and into the woods. There, I collapsed in laughter again.

"Oh my god" I said to Emmett as I got up shakily. "That was the best revenge in the history of revenges!" I said.

_'My phone ringing . . . Jasper . . . me picking up . . .'_

I flipped open my phone just as it rang.

"Hey Jazzy" I said.

"Alice, where are you" he whispered urgently into the phone.

"I'm here in the woods just outside of Daisy's Diner. Why Jazzy? What's wrong?" I asked as I began to panic.

"Nothing happened honey, its okay. Just stay there, I'm on my way" Jasper said as he hung up.

Jasper and Rosalie arrived minutes later.

"Rosie? What are you doing here?" Emmett asked.

"We have to go, now" Rosalie sad as she took off with Emmett in tow.

"Jazzy, what's going on?" I asked as I began running with him.

"Carlisle knows" he said and I nodded.

"I know. He was probably already sent to the scene to check out Dr. Mental so he knows and he's probably mad. We were hoping he'll be so busy at the hospital he'll forget just how upset he was with us" I said.

"Alice, he isn't even at the hospital. He's in the house waiting for you two. Ali, I've never seen him so angry" He whispered as we arrived at the edge of the woods.

"Shit" I whispered as panic began taking over.

"Shhh, it's okay Ali" Jasper said as he sent me calming waves.

"Maybe we can just sneak around the back" Emmett said. "Rather than face Carlisle head on" Emmett whispered and I nodded.

I knew it was probably a stupid idea but I was past thinking that. I was in a humongous amount of trouble and right now, I wasn't really looking forward to it.

"I'll be downstairs" Jasper murmured as he kissed me once and ran inside with Rosalie.

"Let's go" I said to Emmett.

I slipped deeper into the woods and circled towards the back of the house. I quietly climbed a tree until I was at the height of my room. I jumped onto the balcony and quietly slipped inside.

When I looked back, Emmett had already landed on my balcony. I put a finger to my lips as I quietly slipped off my shoes and quietly began to make my way out of my room.

"I know you two are up there, come down" Carlisle called in a steady voice.

_S***!_

We froze in place, not making any more noise

"Mary Alice Brandon Cullen! Emmett McCarty Cullen! Come down this instant!" Carlisle said in a louder voice and I flinched.

I didn't like disobeying Carlisle . . . I never really did; but this, this was for self preservation. Emmett tapped me softly and then pointed to the window. I debated for a minute and then shook my head.

That would probably get us in even more trouble

"You two are in serious trouble! You better come down, _right now_ or I'll have to come up and get you" Carlisle said sternly, his voice angry.

Uhoh. He never gets angry; but there was also disappointment, lots of disappointment. I sighed. Now I felt really bad. Not for Dr. Mental, of course not, but for myself. I made Carlisle angry, made him disappointed in me.

"This is a lack of respect" I heard Carlisle say and then heard him begin to move.

I sighed as I slowly made my way towards the stair and began descending. The whole house suddenly went deadly silent. I, for once, was really scared of what Carlisle was going to do. So scared I almost started shaking.

I couldn't even look at him so I kept my head down. The ironic part though, if I could go back in time and change something, I wouldn't. I would still have done what I did with Dr. Mental. Now, I just have to deal with the consequences . . . which I hope aren't too bad.

When I finally made it to the last step, it took all my willpower not to start shaking uncontrollably. Even with that, my hands were beginning to shake. I clasped them tightly behind my back in an attempt to stop the shaking.

I felt someone walk up to me and my hands began shaking harder. I knew who that was, I recognized the scent. He stopped in front of me and I had to swallow a couple times before I could find my voice.

"I'm sorry" I murmured as I slowly lifted my eyes to meet Carlisle's.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey guys! I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY! I know I said I would update on weekends and the chapters were ready but fnafiction was being annoying and wouldn't let my log in. It would say, 'Error in system, please try again later' and I kept trying but ugh! Anyway, I'm sorry and, I'm granting everyone a batch of my chocolate chip cookies (::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::)(::) there, 1 doezen :) Anway, what did you think? The revenge is finally over . . . but now for the consequences mwuahahahahaha, I have something very evil planned. Umm, my updates might start coming on Saturdays and Sundays cause I have to worry about school. school comes before this. Anyway, you see that buttong at the bottom of the screen, if you leave me a note, you will be granted my special heart cookie (3)**

**Love Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	24. Punishment

Chapter 24:

Punishment

It's funny how normally when you are trying to say something, people just keep on talking but when you're in trouble, and you_ want_ them to talk, they all go dead silent. I couldn't keep Carlisle gaze for long.

There was too much disappointment, too much shame.

"Alice" he sighed softly. "You both know you're in lots of trouble right?" he asked and I nodded, biting my tongue so I wouldn't say what I wanted too. "Both of realize that because of your revenge,

Dr. Mental is going to be spending 5 weeks in the psychiatric wing of the hospital and will probably be scarred for life" he said and I nodded again, biting my tongue even harder.

I was dying to say _'well, that's where he belongs'_ but I knew that the smartest thing to do right now was to keep my mouth shut.

Carlisle sighed again, rubbing his forehead.

"You guys know I don't like punishing you, that I don't like getting angry with you . . . so why go and do something like this?" he said.

"I know Dr. Mental may be a bit . . . uneducated in your problems and how to solve them but everyone will be. Just because he did something you don't like, you don't just kidnap him and make his worse fear come alive"

"But Carlisle, you just don't understand!" I yelled at him.

He raised his eyebrow and I quickly clamped my hand over my mouth. Not smart. When you're on the losing side, you really shouldn't yell at the other person.

"Sorry" I mumbled, my eyes darting briefly to his and then away.

"Okay guys, I'm not going to give you a big talk because I think you both know pretty much how I feel and how wrong this was" he said and I nodded, trying to keep it slightly slow.

I started getting my hopes up. Maybe we were going to be let of easy.

"But that doesn't mean you're not getting punished" he said and I felt my hopes begin to dwindle. "Alice, I have decided that I will be extending your homework of not shopping for three weeks to no shopping for six weeks" he said.

I tried to hold it back, I really did, but I just couldn't.

"WHAT! YOU'RE STILL AGREEING WITH —" I cut off suddenly when a hand flew to my mouth.

"Shush" Emmett whispered super low as he took his hand away.

"Thank you Emmett" Carlisle said. "Now, there is that. Emmett, you're punishment is that you are not allowed to have any physical contact with Rosalie for 3 weeks" he said and Emmett's mouth dropped.

"And to the both of you, every day, I want you to spend a minimum of 4 hours in Dr. Mental's hospital room, comforting him, talking to him etc." he said and this time both of our mouths dropped nearly to the ground.

Suddenly, the house broke out in laughter. I growled angrily but the laughing just got louder.

"You've got to be kidding me Carlisle" Emmett said, completely flabbergasted.

"No Emmett, I'm not. The decision is final. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must head of to work" he said as he grabbed his lab coat and walked to the garage.

I watched him go, my brain desperately trying to reject it. 4 hours a day with Dr. Mental . . .

BPOV

I watched as Alice and Emmett quietly made their way downstairs. Emmett looking up to avoid Carlisle's gaze and Alice was looking down. When she got to the bottom of the stairs, Carlisle slowly walked over to her.

Her hands began shaking behind her back and I could tell she was trying to stop it.

"Alice" he sighed softly. "You both know you're in lots of trouble right?" he asked and they nodded "Both of realize that because of your revenge, Dr. Mental is going to be spending 5 weeks in the hospital's psychiatric ward" he said and they nodded.

Wait . . . that meant no therapy for 5 weeks! 5 weeks of freedom!

"You guys know I don't like punishing you, that I don't like getting angry with you . . . so why go and do something like this?" he said bringing me back from my small celebration.

Esme was behind Carlisle, peeking at Alice and Emmett from behind him. Jasper and Rosalie were a couple feet behind us, watching sadly as their mates got punished. Jasper winced a couple time and I could tell Alice was probably the cause of it.

"I know Dr. Mental may be a bit . . . uneducated in your problems and how to solve them but everyone will be. Just because he did something you don't like, you don't just kidnap him and make his worse fear come alive" Carlisle said and even my mouth feel open

A _little_ uneducated, a _little_?

"But Carlisle, you just don't understand!" Alice suddenly yelled at him.

She quickly realized her mistake and clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Sorry" she said so quietly I barely heard her.

"Okay guys, I'm not going to give you a big talk because I think you both know pretty much how I feel and how wrong this was" he said and she nodded.

"Is he going to let them off the hook?" I whispered to Edward.

He smiled at me as he whispered "Not by a long shot" his cool breath tickling my ear.

"But that doesn't mean you're not getting punished" Carlisle said "Alice, I have decided that I will be extending your homework of not shopping for three weeks to no shopping for five weeks. You will start once Dr. Mental is out of the hospital" he said and my eyes widened.

I looked at Alice and she looked like she was about to explode.

"WHAT! YOU'RE STILL AGREEING WITH —" Emmett ran behind her and slapped his hand on her mouth, whispering something to her.

"Thank you Emmett" Carlisle said. "Now, there is that. Emmett, you're punishment is that you are not allowed to have any physical contact with Rosalie for 3 weeks" he said and Emmett's mouth dropped.

Behind me, Rosalie's mouth dropped too and a new fire appeared in her eyes.

"And to the both of you, every day, I want you to spend a minimum of 4 hours in Dr. Mental's hospital room, comforting him, talking to him etc." he said and this time everybody's mouth dropped, even Edward's.

Then came the laughter. We all broke out into it. I knew It was rude and Alice and Emmett were really in trouble but it was just too funny. They had gotten their revenge on him while they only had to spend an hour every week with him. Now, they had to spend 4 hours every _day! _That totaled to 28 hours a week. Edward vibrated quickly under me as his own laughter took over.

"You've got to be kidding me Carlisle" Emmett said, completely flabbergasted.

"No Emmett, I'm not. The decision is final. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must head of to work" he said as he grabbed his lab coat and walked to the garage.

I watched in almost disbelief as he left. He just gave them one of the worst punishments ever and then just _left? _

APOV

— A couple hours later —

"I can't believe Carlisle is actually making us do this" I whined as I walked through the halls, the flowers in my hand. "It's just so ridiculous"

"You should've thought about that before you went and kidnapped him" Carlisle said as he walked up to us. "This way" he said as he led us over to room 108a. "Go on"

"Carlisle, please!" we begged.

He sighed, opening the door and walking in, forcing us to walk in.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! So, wat did you think? The punishments were tougha dn cruel but they hafta learn their lesson. The next chapter is going to be fun, it's going to be alice's experiance in being locked in w/ Dr. Mental for 4 hours. It should be fun. Eclipse comes out on DVD and Blue-ray in December so if I were you, I would start pre-ordering before all the stores run out. _Big shout out to Nessie96, my best friend 3 Red her stories, they're awesome!_**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	25. Going Insane

Chapter 25:

Going Insane

I looked around and muttered in disgust. The room was the yuckiest shade of yellow I had ever seen in my life with disgusting orange stripped curtains. My eyes wandered to the patient bed to find Dr. Mental lying on the bed with his hands and feet tied to the bed.

My mouth dropped for a second before I exploded into laughter, completely forgetting my current situation. My brain wasn't registering that this could get me in even more trouble, it didn't care.

This was too funny. I guess the hospital finally realized that he really was completely cuckoo. This is undoubtedly one of the happiest moments of my life. I barely sensed when Carlisle closed the door.

I couldn't see anything but Dr. Mental, strapped to his bed like a maniac. Emmett was practically shaking the building from his laughter. Eventually, our laughter began to subside into chuckles.

Once I was in control of myself again I looked up at Carlisle. The second out eyes met my momentary happiness and humor completely evaporated into non-existence.

"It's for his own safety" Carlisle murmured to us. "Dr Mental, look, my children have decided to visit you every day. How are you this afternoon?" Carlisle asked as he began walking towards him.

Dr. Mental didn't say anything but began trashing wildly against his restraints.

"It's okay Dr. Mental, you don't have to worry, it's only me, Dr. Cullen" Carlisle said but as he got closer, Dr. Mental began hitting his head brutally against the headboard, oblivious to the pain.

Carlisle sighed as he quickly got out a syringe from one of the cabinets and injected it into his vein. The thrashing stopped quickly and in seconds, Dr. Mental was unconscious.

"He gets mortified when people come near him" Carlisle said sadly as he patted his knee and began to head out

"Carlisle, come on. You're really going to make us sit here for four hours and watch a psychopath of a doctor while he's unconscious? Can we please just go home" I begged him.

"No Alice" he said sternly. "Both of you have to learn that you can't just go around hurting people you don't like" he said.

"But we didn't hurt him" I whined.

"Maybe not physically but mentally, you nearly killed him" Carlisle said. "Four hours"

With that, he closed the door, leaving us stuck in Dr. Mental's room. I sighed angrily as I put the flowers on the bedside table and plopped down on the chair. I had to sit on my hands to resist the urge to just dump all the water and flowers on Dr. Mental.

You brought flowers to comfort people that were special to you, to make them feel better; brighten their day as you visited them. I hated Dr. Mental and he was the most un-special person in my life.

I personally want to make him miserable and not brighten his day and this visit was 100% not voluntary. Why should I have to get him flowers? I sighed again. This was so unfair; it's vampire cruelty!

"This sucks" I muttered and I brought my knees to my chest and rested my chin on top.

"I know. This is a huge over reaction. Yeah, so we kidnapped him in the middle of the night and yeah, we brought his worst fears to life but that shouldn't make him cry like a baby and then go catatonic. He needs to man up and grow some balls" Emmett muttered.

I nodded tensely. I stared at Dr. Mental, mentally killing him hundreds of different ways. This was his entire fault. If he was a regular therapist, we wouldn't be here stuck in his hospital room.

Eventually, his mouth opened and a dribble of drool began to glide down his face. I turned away, disgusted and decided to begin memorizing my prison for the next four hours for the next 5 weeks.

Normally, time for a vampire passes quickly but this, it was in like super-slow motion, like trying to get honey from a jar. It felt as though seconds were minutes and minutes were hours.

I began counting all the dots on the ceiling out of boredom. Exactly 2,976 dots, I counted 3 times. My eyes turned to the clock and my eyes bulged. It was only 4:05! Five minutes had passed . . . only five freaking minutes?

"I'm going to die" I groaned as I banged my head on the wall.

Why did these things always happen to me? Why out of all the punishments in the world, Carlisle chooses the worst two. WHY? Did he want me to end up like Dr. Mental, completely catatonic, why would he do this? Subject me to such evil torture?

I could be patient, I had learned to be extremely patient from having to watch everybody dress atrociously and then try to make them presentable. But here, my patience just completely evaporated out of me.

The next 4 hours were by far the four worst hours of my life. They were never-ending, as if the rest of my life would be spent in Dr. Mental's hospital room. I literally was going crazy.

I swear voices started to swirl around my head. The room began to melt away until it seemed that I was only in a blank room, completely blank, just white on white. I began tugging on my hair as I tried to find some way or form to distract my mind from what seemed like eternal torture.

Eventually, I locked myself up in the back of my mind where all my visions were. I began jumbling visions and making scenes, sort of like a puppet show. I was that far over the cliff of sanity.

I think I fell off, completely head first. My senses shut off completely; I was completely isolated from the outside world. Dr. Mental could be doing the chicken dance with absolutely no clothes on and I wouldn't be able to tell.

"Alice" a faraway voice called. "Alice?" it called with more urgency.

I ignored it, enjoying my visions.

"ALICE!" it called more urgently, slicing my temporary relaxation. **"ALICE!"** the voice boomed, completely shattering my barrier.

I blinked rapidly, coming back to the present. Slowly, my eyes began to focus on the room. Shapes began to take form and colors became noticeable. I focused on the face in front of me and saw Carlisle. He seemed to be leaning over me, a worried look on his face.

"Alice?" he asked, flashing a light in my eyes.

"Ugh!" I said as I turned away.

I realized I was lying on the couch in Dr. Mental's room. Everything came rushing back to me suddenly and I groaned loudly.

"Alice?" Carlisle asked worriedly but I ignored him, looking at the look.

Surprise flittered across my face as I realized it was 8:10. My eyes darted to the open door and widened.

"I'm free . . . I'M FREE!" I exulted as I ran out of Dr. Mental's room.

I slowed down to a human pace as I ran through the hospital. My goal was the exit. I began laughing loudly as a bright red sign saying **EXIT** flashed before me.

"Yes!" I said as I burst through the hospital doors. It was raining and I laughed as I stared at the clouds. I was free from that horrific place.

"Freedom" I said, leaning against the wall.

My brain wasn't registering that I had completely lost it. It didn't care. All that mattered was that I was free from Dr. Mental and his room. I was FREE!

"Alice?" Carlisle called as he and Emmett burst from the hospital doors. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly as he ran over to me, looking me over.

"I'm fine" I said happily. "And free from that hideous room"

"Alice, are you sure" he said, looking me over again. "You were like in a coma. You were just sitting there, your eyes completely blank, your body frozen. You weren't responding, you were . . . like a shell" he said.

"What are you talking about" I said as I twirled around in a circle.

"I think she's completely lost it Carlisle. She dancing in the rain and her outfit has dirt and mud on it" Emmett said.

That thought quickly registered in my brain and I screeched as I looked at my outfit, every bit of insanity gone.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! I know this is sorta late but school's got be very busy. Anyways, what did you think? So, I had to do it. It just came to me that Alice would go compelteyl bonkers. I mean, I know I would if I had to sit in a roomm with Dr. MEntal for 4 hours. She escaped into her own crazy world. Don't ask where I came up for the idea, you really don't wanna know. :D I hope you liked it.**

**Luv Ya!**

**Remeber: Reviews=new Twenty-tweleve cookie. (2010) _ THE END OF THE WORLD! (hahahaha;D)_**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	26. Oh Jasper

Chapter 26:

Oh Jasper

BPOV

I sighed as I took a seat next to Edward. I gave him a small smile, intertwining our hands. He smiled slightly, brushing my hands across his lips. He was about to say something but then his eyes fell slightly and his shoulders almost sagged.

"Jasper?" I whispered and he nodded.

I sighed, leaning my head on my hands and staring out the window. The past 5 weeks had not been very good. Every since Alice and Emmett pulled that stunt, everyone's been miserable. Alice and Emmett were miserable which made Jasper miserable and upset which in turn made everyone else miserable.

Alice and Emmett are literally going crazy from having to visit Dr. Mental. Carlisle practically had to drag them. I chuckled softly, being whisked away to the memory when we all had visited Dr. Mental a couple days ago.

_Flashback_

_"Guys, I think you should all visit Dr. Mental today. You don't have to stay 4 hours but at least spend a little while with him" Esme said to us when we were in the living. "Just thinking about that poor soul, how terrified he must've been, you guys should go" she said and I nodded._

_Charlie had been telling me that too. That even though I didn't really like him, I should visit him at least once, just being a good person. Edward nodded too, he'd do anything to be with me, and eventually, Jasper and Rosalie agreed._

_"Alice, Emmett?" Carlisle called as he walked into the house._

_Esme flittered over to his side and whispered something in his ear. He looked at us and smiled._

_"I'm glad you guys are coming. I good use some reinforcements" he said to us._

_"Alice, Emmett" Esme called and they flew gracefully down the stairs._

_"Come on love" Edward said, leading me over to the garage._

_Alice and Emmett followed right behind us._

_"Do you guys mind if we come?" They said as they slipped inside._

_I looked at Edward, confused, but he just chuckled and shook his head. I realized with a start that they assumed we were going somewhere else instead of the hospital. I sighed as I looked back at them. I felt bad for them, having to go to Dr. Mental's room each day, it had to be hell._

_Edward drove quickly, as usual, and it took us no time to get to the hospital. Emmett and Alice's eyes widened as they saw the building._

_"NO!" they yelled simultaneously, jumping out of the car._

_Carlisle was already there, expecting their reactions, and grabbed hold of their wrist before they could run off._

_"Come on guys, don't be difficult" he said, tugging slightly on their wrists._

_"NO!" they screeched, kicking and yelling and throwing a total fit._

_Luckily, there was no one here to see them._

_"Both of you, this is childish, come on" He said sternly but the dropped to the floor._

_Carlisle sighed and glanced at Edward._

_"I'll be right back love" he said as he glided over to where Carlisle was. _

_Together, they hauled the screaming pair towards the hospital_

_"NO! YOU WON'T TAKE US!" they yelled._

_"Both of you are going to be in trouble is you don't get up" Carlisle said but I could tell he wouldn't punish them again. He actually looked tortured as he tugged them closer to the hospital, as if he was getting a punishment too._

_Eventually, after much work, they got them in the hospital. Everyone straightened once they were in there but Carlisle kept a firm hand on Alice and Emmett's hand. Emmett could easily get free but Edward was on his right. And with that, we arrived back at Alice's and Emmett's prison a.k.a Dr. Mental's room._

_End of Flashback_

I chuckled again.

"What's so funny love?" Edward asked.

"Nothing, just remembering last Friday" I said and he smiled down at me.

Suddenly, his eyes darkened to almost black. He shook his head, looking away.

"I'm fine" he said in a strained voice, answering my unsaid question.

I knew that wasn't true and was about to ask when he murmured "Jasper and . . . Emmett . . . " he trailed off and I blushed a bright red.

Friday was really funny, how they reacted. I had never seen Alice or Emmett reacts like that . . . actually, scratch that, I had never seen Alice scratch like that. Emmett, sadly, I had.

You see, Emmett was struggling a lot with both his punishments. The one with Dr. Mental of course and then with the no contact with Rosalie for 3 weeks had him going insane.

Carlisle was watching them closely. He would be able to tell if they actually did anything. I remember the time when Edward *_wince*_ left, how many times I longed for his long arms to snake around my waist.

Or for his sweet kisses that made all my problems go away or how I yearned for his tight embrace at night. And that was me, normal not sex-crazed me. Now Emmett, that was a whole 'nother story but I could at least relate to him.

And I knew he was probably dying. I would be too if I saw Edward everyday but couldn't hug him or kiss him or even be close to him. It would tear me apart. So with Jasper and Emmett, they were both driving Edward crazy.

Normally when it was Emmett, I know where his mind was going. 'Cause Emmett influenced Jasper a lot because of his strong longing and lust and Jasper in turn spread that out. So when Edward said it was Emmett . . . well, you could get it.

Now tomorrow, which was Saturday, was the beginning of the fourth week in Alice and Emmett's punishment but at the same time the _glory day_ as Emmett put it, for him. It would be the day he finished his no contact with Rosalie punishment.

So, I could imagine that today he was going to be especially difficult. According to Alice, I was going to sleep over their house this week. She had planned everything, had already gotten all my stuff and already cleared it with Charlie.

Though, I wouldn't be sleeping there tonight. Alice finally succumbed to Edward's argument, that for my mental sanity, I shouldn't be trying to sleep there because after midnight, things were going to get . . . dicey.

I blushed bright red again and Edward turned to me, his eyes the rich butterscotch I loved, and quirked an eyebrow. I shook my head, dismissing the thought.

"It's nothing" I said.

He smiled as he stroked my hand and I knew he wasn't going to let it go. I focused on his hand, his thumb swirling around. I realized I was enjoying it much more than I should and I tried to clear my head, turning around.

Having Jasper in the class right behind us wasn't turning out too great for us. I sighed as I tried to focus my mind on what was happening in class. The problem? I had already studied this in Phoenix. My mind wandered again.

These last few weeks had been truly crazy. With Emmett, Alice and Jasper, everything had been absolutely hectic. And of course, together that little trio was making life impossible for Edward.

We were alone a lot because Edward couldn't stand being near them anymore. In a way, the punishment helped me. The bell rang and I smiled as I gathered my books clumsily and stood up.

Edward was waiting for me by the door. We walked out, hand in hand, and headed towards the cafeteria. When we walked in, a wave of lust washed over us. Edward's hand tightened slightly on mine as we tried to clear our heads.

I looked around and saw various people having severe make-out sessions. I shook my head as I headed towards the lunch line. Oh Jasper . . .

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! Okay, I know this is late but seriously, I think this is when I'll be updating for a while because between school and sports and my science fair, I've got barely any time. Anywho, what did you think? This chapter was a filler. I know, slightly boring but no worries, in the next chapter, Dr. Mental will be back to his psychotic self, don't you worry. :D Anyway, the release date for Eclipse is Decemeber 16th so if I were you, I'd order now before all the copies dissaper. **

**Review!**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	27. Welcome Back Dr Mental!

Chapter 27:

Welcome Back Dr. Mental!

I sighed as Edward's Volvo flew down the streets of Washington.

"Are you excited love?" Edward asked his tone slightly sour.

I laughed at the contrast in his words and his face.

"Oh, yes! I can't wait to go back to therapy with my favorite person, Dr. Mental!" I said and he laughed, taking my hand.

"Just one hour, we only have to survive one hour" he murmured, mostly to himself.

"One hour? Sure, that's easy" I said and he laughed again.

We arrived a couple minutes later. Edward was helping me out just as Carlisle arrived. He had made Alice and Emmett go with him just to assure himself that they didn't magically disappear halfway through the drive.

As I watched, Alice walked stiffly out of the car, muttering softly as she went to the trunk. She pulled out a huge Welcome Back balloon and the biggest bouquet of flowers I had ever seen.

There were probably 200 flowers in there. It was hard not to laugh. Alice was so small carrying a balloon that bigger than her and the bouquet that practically covered her face. Edward laughed loudly as she passed by.

"Shut up" she muttered, whacking him with the balloon.

I laughed softly at his aghast face. I guess he was never hit with a balloon.

We walked slowly up the steps into the dreaded building. The receptionist was there again, once again trying to get us to eat the candy. We all declined, walking towards the elevator.

"Umm, Alice, I don't think you and your balloon fit" I said as we all got in the elevator.

She frowned but the shrugged.

"I'll take the stairs" she said as she took off.

"Umm Edward, just curious but why is Alice so . . . calm" I said and Carlisle chuckled.

"He has her on a tight leash, to say" Edward said. "That and she is also kissing up to him to keep out of trouble again" he said just as we arrived. "Of course, that won't last long" he said just as the doors opened.

"I'll give you kissing up" she said. "We'll see how you're piano likes me kissing up" she threatened.

She smiled wickedly as she headed for Dr. Mental's office, leaving Edward watching in disbelief. He shook his head.

"That evil little pixie" he muttered as he rounded the corner.

His bad moon disappeared instantaneously though, when he saw Alice trying to push the balloon into the office.

"Don't say it" she said as she pushed. "Can't push too hard or it will pop, much to my happiness but not to Carlisle's so, yeah" she explained to me. "You know what, I don't care" she said as she pushed it again but I could tell she was using her_ extra_ strength.

Instantaneously, the balloon flew into the room with a _'pop'_. She ran in excitedly but the balloon hadn't popped. There it was, floating in the middle of the room, in its great **Welcome Back** goriness. Alice stared at the thing in disbelief.

"The Cullens!" Dr. Mental said, walking out in his usual ridiculous outfit.

This time it was a red shirt with and orange polka dot tie, brown pants and black shoes.

"And there are my new friends, Alice and Emmett" he said happily and I saw them slightly gag.

"We're so glad your back Dr. Mental. Now you can truly help us" Alice and Emmett said, handing him the balloon and huge bouquet.

I actually saw him blush as he took the flowers and the balloon.

"Thank you, friends, I love it" he said, selling the bouquet.

I could tell by the tight curl of their hands that was all baloney. They were practically lying through their teeth. Even I could hear the tight, unwilling edge to their voices. Edward chuckled beside me.

"Carlisle . . ." he trailed off between chuckles.

"Welcome back Dr. Mental. I hope your recovery went well" Esme said, going up to him with Carlisle.

"Yes Mrs. Cullen, it was very quick thanks to your two kids here. Every day, four hours, they came to visit me. It was great. It really sped up my recovery. I knew they would always come and it gave me something to look forward to every day.

It showed me that though there may be terrible people in the world, like the ones who kidnapped me, there are also good people, like these two here" he said and I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't laugh.

What Dr. Mental obviously didn't realize was that the _'terrible' _people that kidnapped him are the same_ 'good'_ people that sat through his recovery with him. Though, technically they were forced . . .

"Actually, in return, I have a surprise for both of you" he said as he headed into his office.

They listened warily as he moved around a couple of papers. A couple seconds later, he came out with two super-sized cookies-and-cream Hershey bars. Their mouth dropped in disbelief of possibly having to eat that but he took it as overjoyed surprise.

"I knew you'd love it" he said. "This is my thank you to you" he said, handing them each one.

They held them in their hands as if any touch burned them. He looked at them expectantly and a look of dread filled their faces when they guessed what he was going to say.

"Well, go on and try it. Tell me what you think" he said.

They unwillingly opened Emmett's, each of them taking one of the overblown squares. They glanced at Carlisle one before slowly slipping the squares into their mouths. I saw them slightly gag as they chewed slowly, and finally swallowing.

"Mmm, that was delicious. Thank you" they said as they tried vainly to get the gooey chocolate out of their teeth.

Dr. Mental smiled, pleased.

"I'm glad you like it. Now you have a treat to eat during our session" he said and they looked at Carlisle in horror.

"Actually Doctor, I think it would be best if they had that at home because they have a tendency to get very big sugar-rushes" Carlisle said and the doctor nodded.

"That's okay then. Okay guys, let's head into our session.

* * *

**A/N**

**Heys Guys! So, what did you think? I liked this chapter a lot because is was the connector between crazy hospital visits back into therapy. Somebody Pm'd me that it seemed I was getting a bit off topic because the story is about therapy but really, I like ti better this way because it's more realistic. You get to see the reactions and all the events that occur because of that, making the story flow. I just like it that way. If you don't then I'm sorry. So, you see that little button down there, well I would like you to press it. Yes that's right, feel gravity pulling your mouse to the button :D**

**Luv ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	28. Afraid of a Companion?

Chapter 28:

Afraid of a Companion?

Alice grumbled loudly as we followed the doctor into the therapy room

"I can't believe we're back here again" she whispered. "I mean, he just got cleared from the psychiatric ward yesterday!" she said exasperated as she plopped down in her usual spot.

We all took our seats and Dr. Mental took his seat, grabbing a clipboard and . . . oh god . . . a pen.

"So, let's see, where did we leave off last time . . . " he trailed off, consulting his notes.

"Oh yes, Emmett got cleared and Alice, with no shopping" he said and her mouth dropped with a _pop!_

"What? Are you serious?" she said in disbelief.

Her face showed complete shock but horror and recognition. I guess between her hospital punishment; she had completely forgotten about her other punishment. He quickly wrote something down and then turned to her.

"Yes Alice, I was serious. Shopping has become an unhealthy obsession and, frankly, it's starting to get you into some problems" he said and Alice began visibly fuming.

I could almost see smoke coming from her ears. Dr. Mental had obviously not learned anything from his experience. Here we were, less than a day after he was released from the _psychiatric_ ward and he was already teetering on the verge of death with Alice.

"You . . . shopping . . . "she trailed off and I could tell she was trying to retrain herself from lunging at him."You know nothing about me and shopping" she spat through her teeth. "That much is pretty obvious from the way you dress" she said and he looked down at his outfit.

"Shopping is a hobby, like your hobby to drive people insane" she said. "It's something I enjoy doing. You can't just take that away from me, you don't know what it could do to me" she seethed. "It's what I do, what makes me. You can't just try to force a change like that on me. It's who I AM!"

By the look on Dr. Mental's face, any thoughts that he had ever had about him and Alice being friends were disappearing quickly. He cleared his throat as he continued to write furiously.

I now remembered why he irritated me.

"Alice" he said softly, as if he was talking a crazy person. "I'm your therapist, I do know what's best for you and I know shopping has to stop. You don't have to stop completely but hobbies aren't done every free second you have.

They are done sometimes, in moderation, maybe for an hour, maybe two if you really like it. Besides, there are other, healthier hobbies, like bird house building or gardening.

You can become a more naturalistic person, get in tune with nature and animals and explore you own human nature. Maybe it's who you really are. I can see it in you Alice, a really excited person could do real well in gardening and animal care" he said.

I tried to hold my laugh back, I really did; I tried so hard my abs began trembling but eventually I couldn't hold it in anymore and it burst out. It was soon joined by just about everyone else.

This doctor wanted Alice to do bird house building . . . gardening . . . it just sounds so crazy, so, not like Alice. And get in tune with nature and animals . . . well, when you're hunting and killing animals on a monthly basis, I don't think that really helps.

Still, just imagining Alice sitting at a table, carefully carving a bird house while getting in tune with her _human_ nature . . . it just seemed so ridiculous. Alice obviously thought the same thing because in the next second, she exploded.

"You think you know what's best for me, you know nothing about me or what I am" she said, jumping up from the couch.

Dr. Mental jumped back in his chair, jostled, his face pale.

"I'm not naturalistic; the whole gardening thing is just preposterous! I don't care if flowers grow or if my plant dies! And as for animals" she actually chuckled a bit at this. "If they were smart, they would stay away from me in the first place!" she yelled.

"I don't want to get in _tune_ with my human nature because I already am. I not a gardener or a farmer or a naturalistic type girl. I'm a shopper! And for your information, some hobbies are done every free minute. How do you think people become famous basketball players or musicians?" she yelled at him.

He pretty much seemed to be completely engrossed in her reaction. It was as if that was what he had been waiting for. He was looking at her but was scribbling furiously on his pad. He had already flipped over three pages.

Jasper came up behind her, massaging her shoulders and whispering some things to her. She slowly began to relax and though, while still glaring at Dr. Mental, she sat down next to Jasper.

"Besides" she said, her voice still angry but with a mischievous edge to it. "I don't spend all my free time shopping. I have other activities I enjoy, other things that I love to explore instead of just catalogs" she said as she sat on jasper's lap, straddling him slightly.

The doctors eyes widened and he blushed. I laughed but grimaced at the same time. I really did not need that mental picture.

"Ugh, Alice, if you're going to do _that_, gets a room. I don't need unnecessary images!" Rosalie said.

My eyes widened. _She_ was saying that. Rosalie. Seriously?

"You're telling me that, the queen of broom closets, dark corners and silver Volvo's" Alice shot back and Edward shot up.

"WHAT?" he yelled at her.

Everyone was suddenly getting defensive and I had a feeling it had to do with Jasper. Of course, no one noticed because they were too caught up in their little sex fight.

"Oh relax Edward, you already knew and it doesn't really matter since you don't ever _do_ anything in there anywhere. I mean seriously, how much longer are you planning on staying a virgin?" Rosalie asked. "Just fuck her already!" she said.

My mouth dropped with a gasp and I blushed a bright red as Edward launched himself at her. Emmett caught him just before he reached her, holding him tightly in his steel arms. Edward struggled but had no hope of getting out.

"Emmett, let me go!" he snarled, struggling but to no avail.

"Bro, relax" Emmett said.

"Umm . . . excuse me?" Dr. Mental squeaked behind us.

Everyone froze and we turned to him. He was pale white as he clutched the armrest of his chair, as if he were hanging on for dear life.

"Umm, I see we all have a little temper problem" he said. "And we also have sensitive spots. This is good that they are surfacing here, in a controlled environment. We're making progress" he said and our mouths dropped.

Seriously?

"Now, why don't we talk this through?" he suggested and I groaned.

He really wanted to talk about this? Oh come on! I knew Edward and I were going to be targets and it was going to suck. Edward huffed angrily as Emmett pushed him onto the couch next to me.

Then, he ran back to Rosalie, taking a seat next to her.

"Well, you see Dr. Mental, Edward and Bella have this problem" Alice said and I groaned.

"Frankly, it has all of us worried and we try to help them but they refuse our help. It's actually become rather severe. I'm worried about Eddie-kins here" Emmett said and Edward snarled.

"What's the problem, maybe I can help. I have dealt with many areas of problems"

"Well, Dr. Mental you see, for some reason, Edward has this little problem about getting close to Bella" Emmett said and I buried my face in Edward's shoulder.

"As in he's afraid of having a companion?" Dr. Mental asked.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey guys! I know it's late but Science Fair is very demanding. So, what did you think? Finally, what all of you love is back, the therapy sessions :D You know you love them. I've been twirling around the 2 idea that I put here for a while and I thought it would just be perfect to put them together and they fit perfectly! Iloved how the therapist thinks Alice hshould become in tune with nature and animals, it's just so ironic and now, the new target ; Bella and Edward. Mwuahahahaha, thats going to be fun! The weather is finally cooling down! It's so amazing! I love this part of the year; Cool/Cold weather, my birthday, Christmas and new year. Yay! I can't wait! :D Also I believe Part one of the HArry Potter Deathly of Hallows comes out soon too! Anyway, you see that button down there . . . click it . . . you know you want to!**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	29. Mortification

Chapter 28:

Mortification

"Oh no, they're close. It's just you see, it's just really terrible" Alice said, her face turning sad. "They have no sex like AT ALL! I mean, he refuses to have sex with her. I mean seriously, I know they both want it so I really don't see what the problem is" she said matter-o-factly.

My face was as bright as a tomato as I cursed softly in Edward's shoulder. Why did this always happen. I peeked at the doctor and, of course, he looked flustered and extremely uncomfortable.

"I mean, I really don't get it" she said. "It's not a very hard procedure. All he has to do is—" but she never finished because Edward had launched herself at her.

She just barely escaped his grasp but he whirled, grabbing her arms and pinning her to the couch as he growled loudly at her. She looked away from his face but not in fear.

"You see, he always gets so defensive when we talk about this. All we want to do is help" Alice said in an innocent voice and Edward growled at her.

Jasper in turned growled at Edward, launching himself onto him.

"Exactly," Emmett said, ignoring the fight next to him. "and it has us worried that maybe the reason he doesn't _do it_ with Bella is that maybe he has a . . . _dysfunctional_ problem" Emmett said with a serious face though his eyes were practically bursting with laughter and his body was shaking slightly from holding in his laugh.

I groaned, collapsing on the coach, my whole face and neck a permanent shade of red. God kill me now, please! I heard a very loud growl from Edward and then began the fighting. I could hear things smashing as the battle raged on the floor

"EXCUSE ME!" the doctor yelled, his voice wavering.

I looked up in awe at the doctor. He had seriously just said that in the middle of a fight that he provoked. He seemed to be regretting it though. Edward and Emmett both turned to him and he let out a squeak.

He sunk back into his chair, terror shining in his eyes. His shirt was soaked with sweat and his face was once again pale white. Through all that, he still managed to write stuff down with his stupid pen.

"Boys, we do not harm others in this room including your siblings" Dr. Mental said as sternly as he could.

They both scoffed loudly before answering.

"This is called brotherly love!" Emmett said as he wrapped his arms around Edward.

"Get off me" Edward said, pushing him away, anger alight in his eyes.

"Can everyone please leave the room for a minute except Edward and Bella?" he asked suddenly.

I groaned into my pillow as everyone else got up and, with a smirk and a small laugh, exited the room. I looked to see Edward staring back and forth angrily between the door and Dr. Mental, as if he wasn't sure who he hated more.

I got up, my face still red, and walked over to him. I wrapped my arms comfortingly around his waist and I felt him relax. He whirled in my arms, turning to face me. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close.

The doctor not so subtly cleared his throat and I heard Edward growl softly.

"Shhh, it's okay. Let's just, get this over with" I murmured as we reluctantly headed towards the couch.

Edward sat down first, pulling me on his lap and then wrapping his arms around my torso. I smiled snuggling into his embrace. I had a momentary flicker of peace . . . and then I remembered where we were and why.

Dr. Mental assessed our position and then began writing furiously on his notepad. I curled my hands tightly into fists as I tried to ignore the pen. I sighed, resting my head on Edward's shoulder.

I closed my eyes and began playing Clare De Lune in my head. Might as well try to relax before we begin one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. Of course that was impossible at the moment but I was at least going to try.

"Just relax love" Edward said as he cradled me against his chest, playing with my hair.

"So" Dr. Mental said and we both looked up.

He was sitting straight in his chair, his hand folded tightly over his lap. He looked like one of those doctors a hospital that's about to tell you that you have cancer or leukemia.

I sighed angrily as I disentangled myself from Edward and turned to Dr. Mental, my eyes challenging to continue. He cleared his throat a couple time before continuing.

"We need to talk about this problem though it may seem a bit awkward because it's necessary to the personal development of us as a person and as a male and female" he began and I was already blushing furiously.

This had to happen to us. Edward is the most innocent of the Cullen kids and still the most embarrassing things had to happen to him.

"Now, I'm assuming you both know how your body works but I have a feeling you're a bit . . . uninformed in a certain area" he said as he brought out a huge poster showing both the male and female reproductive parts.

I groaned. I could tell this was about to get a lot worse. A thought suddenly flittered across my mind . . . what in the world was a therapist doing with that? I didn't have time to elaborate because he began talking.

For the next hour, he gave us a very detailed personal development lesson and my face remained red every single second. Never in my right mind would I have thought this would be happening to me.

He didn't seem to understand that we pretty much knew our bodies and it wasn't what caused everything but no! He wouldn't even listen to us!

We tried to get out, talk our way out or leave but he wouldn't let us and we didn't want to risk him giving us homework because we all know how great all his homeworks always to turn out, so we eventually just stayed put and tried vainly to block him out.

To make matters worse, all of the Cullen kids were hearing this, and I could hear their laughter sinking through the walls. At this point, this session was quickly climbing my most embarrassing moments list but then, Carlisle and Esme arrived.

We were only 20 minutes into our _'lesson'_ when Edward told me they had just walked in. I blushed all the way to my chest and gave a strangled squeak. That's when it became the most mortifying moment of my entire life.

On top of having to sit through this and have the Cullen kids listen, now Carlisle and Esme? It was terrible! Eventually he finished and put all of his markers and posters away. We began getting up but he wasn't done just yet.

"Hold on for a minute, there is something I still want to talk to you about, something just as important." He said and I bit back my groan.

At this point, I was just about ready for anything that he would throw at us. Keyword: _I _or me . . . not Edward, it didn't occur to me until after. Throughout the whole lesson, I sat with Edward and we both tried to comfort each other so I just assumed that whatever he said next, it would be for the both of us and we would somehow pull out.

Oh how wrong I was.

"Edward" he began. "I have realized throughout our sessions that you get very defensive when we talk about this subject. You seem uncomfortable and easily angered into doing some rash things.

I've been trying to see some reason as to why you act like that since all of us here now know how the reproductive part and actual reproduction works" Dr. Mental said and my mouth dropped.

There was no way he actually believed Emmet . . . he couldn't be that . . . that _stupid_. I looked up at Edward whose mouth had also dropped, his face a mixture of disbelief and slight mortification.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! What's up? Hallowed is coming up and I can't wait! {:p) - that's my pumpkin! AHahaha, anyways, so, what did you think? I've truly learned to love this story. The possibilities are just so endles and I love it. Of course, I'll begin wrapping it up soon, so as to not make it too long. I loved this chapter though, throughout the books, these have been one of the problems and in my story especially so I could just not pass up the oppurtunity, its wjust so perfect! I can't wait to see the Harry Potter film when it comes out in a couple weeks, I read the book a while ago and I've been waiting for it like crazy.**

**Check it out!**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	30. Bright Red Blush

Chapter 30:

Bright Red Blush

"Edward, what Emmett mentioned earlier made a lot of sense taking into consideration your behavior. Now Edward, this is in completely confidentiality of patient and doctor and as your doctor, you can tell me anything, even personal things.

I truly want to help you so I need you to be completely honest with me" Dr. Mental said, pausing for a moment before continuing. "Edward, do you have a disability in that personal part of your body" Dr. Mental asked, motioning to his inner thighs.

I heard laughter explode from the other side of the wall but at the moment, I was more worried about Edward's reaction. His eyes were wide with fury, his fingers digging into the couch.

"Edward, it's okay if you do, there are many doctors that can help you. You are not alone. You can get help and then can be closer to Bella. I'm sure she would want this too" Dr. Mental said and that was the last drop in Edward's cup of patience.

"I DON'T HAVE A DYSFUNCTION OR DISABILITY IN THAT PART OF MY BODY!" He roared at the doctor.

"Edward?" I asked as I stood, grabbing his hand softly.

Today was officially make Edward go crazy day for the Cullen kids. At my touch he relaxed . . . well, relaxed enough not to launch doctor mental out the window and all the way to Canada. His body was still shaking, his other hand clenched tightly, his eyes alight.

"Doctor" he said in a very controlled voice but I could hear the furious undertone to it. "I have no disabilities, there is another more logical reason that people these days have seem to have forgotten" he said.

"For some reason, people seem to have forgotten the moral of no sex before marriage" Edward said and the doctor blinked in surprise. "The reason I will not have sex with Bella is because I would prefer to wait for our wedding" he said glancing sideways at me.

You know, all those words, marriage, wedding, seem to be following me everywhere.

"Wait . . . WEDDING?" Alice screeched.

I cringed, looking up at Edward.

"You have released her" I whimpered and he laughed, taking me into his arms.

There was a sound of a short struggle and then, silence.

"Well, have you and Bella talked about this?" Dr. Mental asked.

"Yes doctor, a couple times" he said, smirking slightly.

I groaned inwardly, this was coming up everywhere.

"I'd rather not go into details, since it is personal but I promise it will do our relationship no harm, only strengthen it" Edward said.

The doctor nodded and then turned to me.

"What do you think about this Bella?" he asked and I shrunk back. "Because a relationship, especially an intimate one needs to be supplied from both sides" he said and I groaned.

By the sound of the laughter on the other side of the wall, I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one who heard the double meaning in his words. Suddenly, the tables had turned against me. I was now the focus of attention.

I was Dr. Mental's next victim. I stuttered and fidgeted as I tried to answer him. It was just so awkward with Dr. Mental right there and Carlisle and Esme on the other side of the wall.

"Bella?" Dr. Mental said, walking over to me but I step back into Edward's arms.

"It's okay if you're nervous and you don't think you're ready. You seem shy and nervous but that just hides the strong, dedicated girl hiding inside" he said and I tried to fight the blush trying to spread once again across my face.

Edward chuckled behind me, rubbing my arms soothingly.

"Now, this is a very big step in a relationship and it shouldn't be rushed. If you're not ready, then you're not and Edward has to understand that" Dr. Mental said, looking up at Edward.

"Umm doctor, that's not the problem, she isn't rushed at all" he said and I blushed furiously, remembering all my attempts of doing it and all his rejections that ended with a simple statement.

_'You know what my condition is'_

His condition! Gah! He chooses the one I have the most trouble accepting. Of course, the problem isn't really that I don't want to spend forever with him, not that I didn't want to marry him . . . it was the actual process. Telling Charlie . . . Renee . . . the whole town . . .

"Bella?" he asked.

"No" I stuttered out. "It's not that I'm rushed, we're just . . . thinking things through since we both seem to disagree on a certain subject" I said and the doctor quickly rushed forward.

"What subject? This is good, we're making progress, expressing ourselves" he said.

"Bella and I are just disagreeing slightly on the actual _right _time to do it" Edward said as he looked down at me.

I could almost see his condition running through his eyes, like a script. I sighed, this frankly was getting personal and not something I had a feeling to share with Edward's whole family.

"Doctor, I had to be home ten minutes ago" I said and he jumped as he glanced at the clock.

"Oh, of course, it's late. We'll talk more next week" he said and we both grimaced. "Since it is late and your family is probably waiting" Dr. Mental said, getting up.

Edward suddenly stiffened, and turned toward the door. He began slowly slipping into a crouch and I could feel a growl building in his chest. I looked up to see his eyes glowing with fury and I felt my anger building too.

I suddenly remembered that they had done this. Alice and Emmett. They had put us through his hour of torture and then listened in on everything. I suddenly realized that Edward was quite capable of destroying everything in Dr. Mental's office, including him.

"Shhh" I said and then added as an afterthought "Not here" I added as an afterthought. "Wait until we're out of the office" I whispered to him.

Edward, with some difficulty, straightened out and opened the door without completely ripping it off its hinges, which is a success. ON the other side waited his family. All the Cullen kids were collapsed on the floor, catching their breath, unnecessarily, from laughing.

Carlisle and Esme eyed us sympathetically but there was laughter deep in their eyes. I knew they had heard everything. I though back to everything they heard and I blushed bright red, sending the Cullen kids into another round of laughter.

That just made me blush harder. I stomped out of the room, ungracefully I might add, tripping many times. But at this point, I really don't care. All I care about is getting away from this office.

I vaguely heard Carlisle saying goodbye to the doctor and then scolding the Cullen kids. I continued towards the elevator with Edward at my heels. I pushed the button angrily, watching as the number ticked down to my floor.

When the elevator arrived, I rushed inside as if death itself was following me. I was hoping to ride alone with Edward but the Cullens obviously did not agree with that because they arrived just as the elevator was leaving.

I crossed my fingers hoping it would close but I knew it was useless. When it had just a couple more inches left, Emmett's foot wedged itself between the doors, making them open again.

I bit back a groan as they began to file in, still laughing. I stared at the floor, trying to control my anger. An elevator was not a good place to have an explosion in. The ride was mostly silent which worried me greatly. If they hadn't begun the teasing yet, then it was because they were building up to something. Just as the elevator arrived, Emmett began.

"So Bella, did you have a nice talk with Dr. Mental?"

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! So what did you think? I know it's late but hey, I was a Tricka Treatin'. I walked for 3 hours and now I can't even feel my legs. It's not funny. I got like 6 neighbor hoods. that like 4x more than normal. It was fun though, I laughed a lot and got tons of candy. So, Okay, I love this story. It's just so much fun to write. Things just pop up or happen randomly in my life and then the idea pops in. I'll be wrapping this storty up soon cause it's getting long and I don't want it to seem like it's dragging along. I'll make the ending good though, no worries.**

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN! :D  
**

**Luv Ya!**

**JMFanficQueen**


	31. Off the Deep End

Chapter 31:

Off the Deep End

My face turned bright red again but this time it was because of anger and embarrassment. I walked out of the elevator angrily, trying to distance myself as much as possible from that stupid godforsaken building.

The Cullens kids followed after me, laughing loudly. The only person that wasn't laughing was Edward. He had his hands balled tightly as he stormed out next to me. When we reached the cars, all hell broke loose.

I heard Edward growling loudly at Emmett and Carlisle trying to calm them down but it all seemed faraway. My anger was quickly building up, like when you put Mentos in a soda bottle. I began seeing red as my hands began trembling violently.

I felt Jasper sending my calming waves but that just infuriated me more. I pushed them away, like bugs in the wind. I was mad and I had a right to be mad to so I was going to be mad, not calm.

I'm normally a calm person but today . . . after everything that happened . . . not a happy camper.

"Uhh . . . Bella, are you okay, you're a bit, tense" Jasper said, trying desperately to send me calming waves but I pushed them away again. "Guys, I think we should help Bella before she possibly hurts herself" he said and that pushed me over the edge.

My vision went red as I exploded. They had just pushed me off the edge of a very high cliff. I began yelling loudly, not even actually aware of what I was saying. My body was acting on its own accord.

I began grabbing anything that I could get my hands on and launching it at Emmett's Jeep, my body shaking in fury. I knew I was having a breakdown and people were probably staring but my brain wasn't registering that fact.

All I knew was that I had just gone through one the most embarrassing moments of my life and of course, it was all because Emmett and Alice couldn't deal with Dr. Mental so they made him turn to me.

I was vaguely aware of Emmett yelling loudly and my vision cleared up slightly for a second. I saw him trying to catch everything I was throwing though, to my extreme happiness, some of it had managed to hit the Jeep.

I vaguely realized that I was now jumping around and yelling even louder as I threw more stuff. I heard them calling my name soothingly but my brain ignored it. I guess the rational side of me decided to take a vacation.

I was pretty sure that if someone took a picture of me, I would look like a rapid dog. My hands were stinging sharply and I felt warm liquid begin to drip down my arm. I heard Carlisle yell and suddenly I felt strong, cool arms restraining mine. My rational brain wasn't back yet so of course I struggled wildly against the tight hold.

"Bella, honey relaxe. Bella, take deep breaths" Carlisle said to me as he tightened the grip on my arms.

I stopped jumping crazily but in turn, I tightened my hand tighter. I felt a sharp pain as the rock dug deeper but I couldn't make my hand open. I actually couldn't move any part of my body currently.

I felt Carlisle's cool hands pry my hands open forcefully, letting the bloody stones clatter to the ground. The anger began to subside and fatigue began to set in. Even though I was no longer struggling, Carlisle's hold never loosened.

His hands held me tight enough so that I couldn't move but loose enough so nothing would break. I began breathing heavily as my body began to realize how exhausted I was. The anger was completely gone now and all I felt was tiredness.

My vision cleared and what I saw wasn't pretty. TO my delight, Emmett's jeep was pretty battered up. It had many scratches and small indents from everything I had thrown.

I saw pebbles and broken clay littered across the parking lot and realized I must've thrown all of that. As I turned my attention back to the Jeep, I realized that it was also dented, with Emmett's shape forever embedded into the passenger side door.

Emmett was staring in horror at the Jeep, as if it wasn't possible for such a thing to happen. Edward was being restrained tightly by Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice. He had a slight crazed look to him but now all he seemed was pleased.

Finally, I looked down at myself. My jeans were ripped and I could see my knee, slightly spotted with blood. My arms were sore and had small cuts littered around them. My hands were pretty gruesome. They were covered with dirt, grass and blood.

I sighed; I had gone completely psychotic. I had officially lost it completely. I opened my mouth to say something and realized my throat was sore like crazy. I felt like I had swallowed a bunch of sandpaper.

I guess yelling at the top of my lungs probably hadn't been the smartest idea. I tried to talk but I noticed that I could barely make a sound. Great, I had lost my voice on top of everything. This wasn't going to be easy to explain to Charlie. I never lost my voice because I barely ever yelled.

"I'm okay Carlisle, I'm fine" I managed to get out but his grip didn't loosen. "I'm serious, I just had a breakdown but I'm fine, I swear" I said and after a second hesitation, his grip slackened.

He spun me around to look me straight in the eyes. His eyes searched mine expertly, almost as if he could see my thoughts just flashing through my eyes. By his expression, I could tell he was still questioning my sanity.

"I'm seriously fine Carlisle. We all go off the deep end once in a while" I said.

He eyed me for a minute longer before he smiled, his pearl white teeth shining brightly.

"I think you had reason enough" He said as he glanced at Emmett and Alice. "Let me see how bad your hands are" he said and I gingerly unfurled them.

I winced as the scratch spread out, making it sting. The cool air helped numb it slightly but at the same time, it bit painfully at the open cut. Carlisle gingerly grabbed my hands, examining them closely but carefully.

"The cut is certainly dirty but nothing too deep. I'll disinfect it when we get home and then I'll just bandage it up" Carlisle said and I nodded.

"Jasper let me . . . go!" I heard Edward say and in a second, he was by my side.

"Bella! Does it hurt—" but Edward never finished because Emmett suddenly launched himself onto him.

"You bas***" he yelled as they fought on the concrete. "You made me dent my Jeep!" Emmett yelled.

"Stop it boys!" Esme called but they no indication of having heard her.

"You brought it on yourself!" Edward yelled back.

I let out a terrified squeak as Emmet got a hold of Edward and slammed his head on the concrete. Edward, though slightly dazed, recovered immediately, jumping into a defensive position

"Boys! That is enough!" Carlisle said as he ran over to Edward lifting him away from Emmett's hands.

Emmett tried to go around Carlisle but after one stern look, he gave up.

"I'll make it up to you later Eddie" he muttered as he stalked off.

Edward jumped up right away, running over to me.

"Edward" I sighed as I wrapped my arms tightly around his torso.

Immediately my worries melted away as my mind registered that he was completely fine. His arms encased me tightly, holding me securely against his chest.

"Are you okay? You seemed a bit . . . tense" he said and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just lost it for a minute" I said, looking down at my hands.

Suddenly, Edward took his thin sweater off, leaving on only his tight fitting shirt which showed off his biceps and amazing abs. Before I could ask why, he ripped the sweater in two, making a pair of makeshift bandages.

"Here you go love" he said as he wrapped them tightly around my hands.

"You didn't have to ruin your sweater for me" I said though I wouldn't admit it felt a lot better, but he shrugged.

"Better it than you" he said.

"If you two are done, can we go" Emmett muttered and we both rolled our eyes as we nodded.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! I know it's really late but it's getting tougher. Anyways, what did you think? After everything Bella went through, I had to put this. I just had to. She coudn't actually stay sane through this whole story. I'm going to start wrapping htis story up soon since it's getting a bit long but it won't be rushed at all, I promise. I can't wait until the new Harry Potter movie comes out next week! I'm so excited!**

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	32. Karma

Chapter 32:

Gardening and Animal Care . . .

"Jasper, why don't you ride with Esme, Rosalie and Alice? I'll go with Emmett, Edward and Bella" Carlisle said and Jasper nodded immediately, running over to Carlisle's car.

The girls piled in after Jasper and in a second they were gone, the car probably pushing 120mph in the street. I turned to Emmett's Jeep and couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips.

His Jeep was spattered with tiny dents and scratches, not to mention the huge dent on the passenger door. He turned and glared at me angrily but he didn't exactly get it right. He looked more like and angry child on Christmas.

This concept turned my giggle into a laugh. Carlisle turned to me, probably questioning my mental sanity again. I was about to get it when I saw Dr. Mental running towards us.

I froze, my muscles tensing tightly. Hadn't we been tortured enough?

"Wait Dr. Cullen!" he yelled as he arrived in front of us.

His face was bright red and sweat was already forming on his forehead. He rested his hands on his knees as he tried to recover his breath. Well, someone has obviously never heard of this magical place called a gym.

"Thank god I caught you, I was pretty sure you would have left already. I forgot to tell you something from the therapy session. You see, before I talked about Edward and Bella, we were talking about Alice and her shopping problem" Dr. Mental said.

I heard I screeching suddenly accompanied with a dozen loud car horns beeping angrily. I had a feeling things were about to get a bit messy. By the way Carlisle's eyes darted to the street; I knew he had probably already figured out what had happened, just like I had.

I looked nervously at the street and then at Dr. Mental. He really was just dying to get killed. He might as well pin a sign on his head saying **Kill Me Please**. Things were about to get _really _messy.

Carlisle's car suddenly flew into the parking lot, probably going about 200 miles per hour. It covered the large distance of the parking lot in a second, speeding through as if it had a turbo engine attached to the back of it.

I could just barely see Alice's face through the windshield, twisted tightly in pure rage. When she was just a couple yards away, she suddenly hit the brakes. The tires squeaked loudly in protest as the car began skidding to a stop.

I covered my ears tightly and Edward immediately placed his hands over mine, reinforcing the tightness. The sound was unbelievable, so high I felt my head would explode just from the sound.

It sounded like a cat scarping its claws against a chalkboard with a microphone right under it which was connected to a loudspeaker right at me ear. Dr. Mental looked completely baffled as he covered his ears tightly. The car skidded to a halt, about 5 yards from where we were standing.

"Are you okay love?" Edward asked worriedly as he removed his hands.

I nodded, removing my own hands. Everything seemed softer than usual but it was getting steadily back up to how loud it normally was so I knew I was fine. Edward held me tightly against his chest as his eyes darted to the car.

The door of Carlisle's car flew open and Alice's jumped out, her face outraged. She turned towards the doctor and ran towards him. The passenger door suddenly opened and Jasper jumped out, running towards Alice.

He grabbed her around her waist when she was about 2 yards from Dr. Mental.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?" she yelled loudly as he struggled in Jasper's arms.

Dr. Mental seemed to shrink back slightly from Alice, his face paling slightly.

"DO YOU ENJOY MAKING PEOPLE LOSE THEIR MINDS, MAKING US MISERABLE, GIVING US TERRIBLE PUNISHMENTS!" she yelled.

"Alice" Carlisle ordered sternly but she completely ignored him.

Carlisle's eyes met Emmett's for a second and in the next second, Emmett was at Alice's side, his hand clamped tightly over her mouth. She struggled profusely in Jasper's arms moving around erratically.

She was trying to move away from him and probably trying to rip off Emmett's hand but they both restrained her tightly, Jasper especially as he restrained her hands. Jasper was whispering in her ear, trying to calm her down. I watched the whole scene, my mouth hanging slightly.

Then, my eyes went to Dr. Mental. I felt a sudden sympathy for him. It must me horrible having us as patients. In the next second, my sympathy disappeared and was replaced with exasperation.

Not only was this whole therapy thing pretty pointless but on top of that, we had an insane doctor. If he was even 1/10 of a decent therapist, we would be fine but no, of course he's completely bonkers.

"I'm sorry about that Dr. Mental" Carlisle apologized, brining me out of my little day dreaming world. "She sometimes has issues with her temper and is a bit used to things going her way" Carlisle said.

"It's no problem. You see, Dr. Cullen, as I had mentioned in a previous therapy session, shopping has became an unhealthy obsession. I tried talking to Alice but she became really defensive about it, as we've just seen" he said and Alice growled loudly from Jasper's arms.

"It worried me before but now I've seen it's completely gotten out of hand. It's come to the point where we, as the adults in Alice's life, have to intervene for her own good.

She can never know if she likes anything else because she always spends all of her time shopping. Because of this, I have decided to have her not go shopping at all for 4 weeks and I'm going to need all of you to help" he said and my mouth dropped.

I knew I should be sympathetic and I felt terrible that Alice was going to have to go through that, no shopping for a month, which was going to kill her! _But . . . _only a _part_ of my brain was thinking about that.

The other part was thinking about what I had just gone through in Dr. Mental's office, the mortification and permanent blush . . . and with that, only one thing was running through my mind. It was mean and I shouldn't say it but I couldn't help myself.

"KARMA! That's freaking KARMA for you Alice!" I yelled loudly as I began laughing uncontrollably.

I heard Edward laugh with me, his body shaking behind me. I was slightly aware that I may be having another breakdown but it didn't really register.

"Karma . . . karma . . . I'm not the one who is practically humping my boyfriend any moment I have" she yelled and my mouth dropped.

I heard gasps and my face turned red with anger. That was so not true!

"At least I won't be banned from shopping for a whole month" I shot back and her eyes suddenly filled with fury but it was now directed at Dr. Mental.

Emmett and Jasper held her tightly as her intentions quickly became clear.

"Someone is a little feisty, huh love" Edward whispered in my ear.

"You have no idea" I muttered, thinking back to our wonderful session. "I'm going to get them back both, both of them will feel my pain" I said and Edward chuckled.

"I'm going to have to help you with that" he said, his voice going suddenly serious and I realized Edward really could be devious when he wanted to be.

Carlisle shot us a look, obviously having heard our conversation, but said nothing.

"It's going to be tough at first but I'm sure Alice will pull through and find something she loves even more than shopping" Dr Mental began again, cutting through my planning session.

"I suggested a couple ideas that I think would be perfect for her" he said, talking as if she wasn't right there. She turned them down but I think you should consider them and then propose them to her again.

There are very healthy hobbies that I'm sure she would love. She has a lot of energy and I think she could channel all of that into more productive things.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! I know it's late but whatev. Guess What? It was my brithday yesterday! I had so much fun celebrating it with all my friends and family! It will certaintly be a birthday to remember. Anyways, what did you think? I almost forgot about this part. I had planned on putting it in the office but I sort of forgot so I had to this part, Alice's punishment gets laid down. Karma, oh sweet, sweet karma. No shopping for a month . . . taht'll definetly be interesting to write about**

**You see that little button down there, yea, it says review, click it . . . you knw you want to . . . **

**Luv Ya!**

**=^.^= JMFanficQueen =^.^=**


	33. Planning Our Revenge

Chapter 33:

Planning Our Revenge

I was thinking hobbies like bird house building, gardening or animal care. It'll help her tune into Mother Nature and maybe learn that everything isn't just about material things" Dr. Mental said and everyone began laughing.

Even Carlisle let out a little chuckle, it was just so preposterous and something Alice would probably never do in her life. If anything, she would fashionize the bird house and try to dress the birds.

This is why I also think it's not very productive to go to therapy if you're a vampire. Most the things therapists say apply really only to a human person. Yeah, Alice who's a natural predator and everything that's nature knows she dangerous instinctually, yea, she going to go into animal care.

"I'm sure the animals will just _love_ her" I said and Alice shot me a look as Edward chuckled.

"Now, there will be no sessions because of the holiday seasons so Alice will truly have time to experiment different hobbies and actives while surrounded with the love and happiness that is brought wit every winter holiday season" Dr. Mental said and Carlisle nodded.

"I guess I'll see you in a month Dr. Cullen, I can't wait to see the progress Alice will make" he said as they shake hands. "You talk with Edward too Bella okay, you take charge and speak up when you are ready or if you're not" he said and I once again blushed bright red.

I heard chuckles behind me which just made me blush harder.

"Yeah, I'll do that" I muttered and the doctor smiled before turning and heading back to the building.

The second the doctor walked into the building, Alice came running over.

"How could you do this to me Carlisle?" she whined loudly as she collapsed at his feet. "Please, just let it go, I've been through enough. Just don't and say you did" she begged but Carlisle shook his head sadly.

"Alice, Dr. Mental may not be very sane but this time he is right, shopping has become a bit over obsessive for you. Though I highly doubt you'll go into gardening or _animal care_" he said, chuckling slightly

"But I will go through with his punishment it'll be good for you to take a break from shopping. Besides, I'm sure your brother would like a break from it to" he said and the boys nodded eagerly.

"PLEASE!" she begged wrapped her arms around his legs. "I don't deserve this, ask anyone" Alice begged. "Never mind, don't answer that" she told her siblings and they all laughed.

"Alice, my mind is made up. I don't mean to be cruel but you really have to learn the whole process of doing something wrong and then the consequences. Most times, you can get out of trouble with a bat of your eyelashes or a sweet smile or talk. Now, now you really have to see what's its like" Carlisle said. "Now come on Alice, let's go home" he said as he sunk down, pried her fingers off of his legs and began walking again.

"NO!" she yelled as she threw herself as his feet again, making him stumble.

"Alice . . ." he sighed as Jasper came over.

He spoke to her softly and slowly she began loosening her hold until the point where he was able to get her off of Carlisle feet. They second she let go of Carlisle, she clung to Jasper as if he was they only life boat in the whole ocean.

"Shhh, it's okay Alice, it's not that long and I'll help keep you busy" he whispered to her.

"Yeah, it's only a month with no shopping at all" Emmett put in.

"No . . . shopping . . . month . . ." Alice trailed off as her face got a blank look and she curled up into a ball forcing Jasper to hold her like a baby.

He glared at Emmett as he gingerly picked her up. She somehow managed to rock in her fetal position while in Jaspers arms.

"What, I was only stating the truth" Emmett said as Jasper walked off.

He got into the car carefully and Esme drove off.

"Come on Bella, we should get going so I can check your hands" Carlisle said and I nodded as I headed towards Emmett's disfigured Jeep.

Emmett got into the driver side, muttering angrily and closing the door harshly, making the glass shatter and fall into a pile on the ground.

"Oh come on!" He yelled angrily.

Carlisle shook his head but quickly picked dup the glass, depositing it in the trashcan nearby. I walked up to the passenger door and stared. How in the world was I supposed to get in when the door was all disfigured and pushed in?

"Edward . . . how . . . " I trailed off.

"I'll just pry it off" Edward said.

"Don't you dare!" Emmett yelled and I jumped back, startled by the sudden outburst.

Emmett noticed and his face turned into chagrin.

"Sorry Bella, I'm just angry at this freaking retarded virgin" he smiled, earning a blush from me which was exactly what he wanted because he laughed.

"Let's just go around" Edward muttered, glaring at Emmett.

We walked to the other side but now I faced another issue, how in the world was I supposed to get on? I gauged the distance and prepared to jump when a chuckled from behind me made me whirl around.

Edward came up, still laughing, and opened the door. Then, he hoisted my small body up easily to the seat. I crawled in and then saw all the buckles. Great.

"Is there one that's just a regular seat belt?" I asked him when he got in which just made him laugh more along with everyone else.

In my defense, I had only ridden in this Jeep once which was when . . . when we played baseball. Edward reached over me and from somewhere deep within the tangle of over a hundred restraints, pulled out a normal seatbelt and handed it to me.

"Okay, now just where to buckle this" I said looking at all the buckles.

He chuckled again and slipped it in.

"See, it would be so much easier if it was a normal car, one seatbelt, one buckle" I said causing all of them to erupt in laughter again.

When we got home, Carlisle took me straight to his office to bandage up my hands. He gingerly removed Edward's shirt and disinfested all the shallow cuts and slices. Then, he lathered on some clear, gooey liquid before wrapping me hands tightly in white bandages.

"That should just about do it" Carlisle said as he took off his white gloves.

"Now I just have to figure out what to say to Charlie.'Hey dad, I had a total mental breakdown in the parking lot today after a twohour long session with dr. mentalabout mine an ded'wars physical relationship'" I siad and they both laughed.

"Is Alice going to be okay?" I asked Edward as we headed down to the garage.

"I think she'll come around sometime soon" Jasper said from the couch. "She is slowly getting more responsive. God . . . these next four months are going to kill her" Jasper muttered as he stroked her hair lovingly.

"We should go before Charlie starts to get worried" Edward said and I nodded as we both headed towards his Volvo.

We arrived at my house in a couple minutes, of course. When you're going 100m/h, the ride is pretty quick. When we got there, Charlie was waiting, leaning against the cruiser.

"Hey Bella . . . Edward. What took you two so long?" He asked as he continued packing.

"The session was extended about 2 hours" I said, hoping he wouldn't ask why.

"Why?" he asked and I sighed.

"Dr. Mental wanted to delve into the depths of our relationship" I said, motioning to Edward and me.

"Oh" Charlie said awkwardly. "I'm heading over to Billy's to watch the game and I'll probably eat there" Charlie said.

"Okay, I'll just make something for me then" I said and he nodded.

He frowned at Edward for a minute before getting into the cruiser and taking off.

"He was debating whether or not he should leave us here alone after what happened at Dr. Mental's office" Edward said and I blushed lightly.

"That reminds me, we have some revenge to plan" I said devilishly.


	34. Thousands of Screws

Chapter 34:

Thousands of Screws

"I think I'm going to have to help you with that" Edward said and we both laughed like evil masterminds as we headed back into the house.

"Okay, we're going to have to do something that can get back at both of them" I said as I took out the ingredients for a sandwich.

"At the same time . . . that would be tough since they are so different" Edward said as he put the bread in the toaster and began helping me cut the cheese, lettuce and tomato.

"Well then why don't we get them back at different times" I asked as the toast popped out.

I grabbed it quickly and dropped it on my plate, spreading a light layer of mayo on each slice.

"The only thing is we have to do it in a way that the one that isn't getting pranked doesn't get suspicious" I said and Edward nodded as he stacked the cheese, ham, lettuce and tomato on the bread.

"I think I already know what I want to do with Emmett, or sort of" I said as I got a glass of water and sat down.

"What is going through that devious mind of yours?" he asked and I snickered before motioning him to lean down.

He leaned across the table, pressing his face against mine. I leaned over to his ear and whispered my amazing plan. When he heard it, he fell back into his chair, laughing. I smiled smugly as I began eating.

Part of me felt really guilty for doing this but the greater part was thinking about those horrible hours in Dr. Mental's office and our . . . personal development . . . lesson and little chit-chat with everyone listening, _including _Carlisle and Esme.

"Okay, Charlie is going fishing tomorrow so we can go get all the supplies for it" Edward said.

"Wait, Charlie's going fishing?" I asked and noted wards smiled smugly, tapping his forehead. "Oh, yeah, forgot there for a second" I said and then, a thought hit me and I began laughing.

"What's so funny love?" Edward asked.

"It's just funny how Alice is always dying to take me shopping but between everything with Dr. Mental, she hasn't been able to and now, the day after she's not allowed to go shopping, I'm going to go shopping" I said and he laughed too.

I finished up quickly, eager to be with Edward. Once I had washed it off, we headed up to my room. I grabbed my stuff to get ready and headed into the bathroom, leaving Edward waiting for me on my bed.

I took a quick shower, anxious to be done. I slipped on my pants and my tank top and then shook my hair vigorously with the towel. Once it was as damp as I could get it, I hung the towel and ran out.

Edward was lying sideways on my bed, watching me as I walked out, his gold eyes smoldering under his long lashes.

"Come here" he said and I realized I hadn't moved.

I quickly made my way towards my bed, climbing on. It was too early to actually go to sleep so he sat up and reached out to grab me. He leaned against my headboard and put me on his lap.

"Hi" I whispered.

He chuckled but responded anyways.

"Hello" he said making me smile.

I snuggled closer to him and he immediately brought up blankets to cover both of us. I rolled my eyes but didn't complain because at this point, I didn't really care. I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

_'John Tucker Must Die' _was showing so we watched it and laughed until, some point near the end, I fell asleep. I woke up lying down, completely covered with all of my blankets.

I groaned as I stretched and I heard a ghostly chuckle beside me. I turned to see Edward leaning against my bed, watching me amusedly.

"Morning" I said as I jumped up over to him.

He easily caught me, spinning slightly before sitting on the bed.

"You ready for today?" he asked and I nodded eagerly.

"Get dressed then and I'll be waiting downstairs" he said as he kissed me softly before heading out. "Oh, and Bella" he called making me whirl around. "I would wear something warm because it's snowing" he said and I groaned loudly.

He laughed as he closed the door. I didn't hear him go down the stairs but chances were that he was already there. I walked to my closet, pulling out my thick black pants and my white turtle neck with a silver snowflake in the middle.

I slipped on my white boots and grabbed my black and white gloves and scarf before heading down. Edward was seated at the table and had already laid out my breakfast, 'cardboard' as he liked to call it.

"Hey" I said as I sat down and began to eat. "So where are we going to go to get our supplies?"

"I think we'll have to go by the grocery store, the hardware store and the craft store" Edward said.

"The hardware store . . . has someone been planning a revenge while I was sleeping" I asked and Edward smiled as he pulled out a neatly folded sheet of paper from his pocket and spread it out on the table.

"Oh my gosh!" I laughed, almost choking on my cheerios. "It's my plan but modified . . . this is going to be so much fun" I said as I rubbed my hands together and laughed evilly.

Edward laughed at my pitiful attempt to act like an evil mastermind. I finished my cereal quickly after that. I was anxious to set this plan in motion. When I finished, I quickly brushed my teeth before heading back down.

"Let's go" I said as I grabbed my bag and my coat.

Edward opened the door and the snow swirled in.

"Ugh, snow" I muttered. "There goes my good mood" I said and he laughed as he suddenly picked me up and ran me over to the side of the car.

"Thanks" I said as I got in.

HE was already there and in seconds, we were off. The first stop was the grocery store. This part I knew what to get. I headed to the condiments isle and grabbed a bunch of jars of honey. Then, I headed to the pet aisle and grabbed 2 small bags of bird feed.

We bought our supplies and stashed them in Edward's trunk before taking off again. The next stop was the craft store, our warehouse for the visual aspect for our prank.

I grabbed about 12 large bags of feathers and glue while Edward looked at the face paints, white paint and masks. When we were positive we had gotten everything, we rolled all four of our carts to the checkout line. The cashier's eyes widened but she didn't say anything.

"This is going to be so much fun!" I said giddily as we rolled our stuff to the Volvo.

"The last place left is the hardware store" Edward said.

"I'm completely helpless there. If I can't even walk on a floor, I never thought of possibly installing one or . . . just installing anything. I'd probably end up unconscious" I said as we drove

"Probably love" he said. "But not as long as I'm there, I'll make sure to pull you out just before you get hit" Edward said as he parked and we headed inside.

"It smells like metal and sawdust" I said as I sneezed.

Edward rolled his eyes but smiled. I let him guide me around the store as he collected all the supplies for his modified part of the plan. I couldn't really help in any way because I had no idea what anything is.

"What are you looking for?" I asked as I followed behind him.

The cart was practically so full I thought it would explode.

"Just a certain screw that holds up the best with weight" he said.

I looked at the aisle; they all looked exactly the same.

"Is it this one?" I asked as I picked up a screw.

My hand, of course, hit the back of the contained and the thousands of screws fell to the floor.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey guys! So, what did you think? Bella and edward are slowly planning their revenge. IF you feel confused or think I left a part out, it's okay, I didn't. I'm making it in a way that you won't know what the revenge is until the revnege happens. :D It''l be fun. Sigh, it's back to school but just think . . . 3 weeks and winter break . . . 3 weeks . . . **

**Review=Happy Author=cookies**

**(I3U) **

**Luv Ya!**

**JMFanficQueen**


	35. Just A    Craft Project

Chapter 35:

Just a . . . Craft Project

They hit the sound with a _clang_ that sent shivers down my spine. I blushed brightly as everyone in the aisle turned to look at us.

"Sorry" I muttered as I bent to pick it up.

Edward was already on the floor and had practically picked up all of the screws. He put the screws back into the container and placed it on the shelf. He saw my flustered face as he got up and laughed.

"Don't worry love" he said, placing his hand on my overheated face. "You found it" he said, holding up the screw I had shown him in the first place.

My eyed widened, he's got to be kidding me. He laughed at my incredulous face as he grabbed a container of the screws and added them to the cart. He then slung his arm around my shoulders and guided me to the checkout line.

He went to the self checkout and began quickly checking everything out. Even with his speed, it took about 5 minutes. Once he finished, he quickly swiped his card, signing the pad in his elegant script.

"Let's go love, it's time to begin Phase 1 of our revenge: Gloussant Emmétt" he said with a perfect French accent.

I laughed but nodded as he loaded the last of our goodies into his Volvo.

"Wait, how are we going to do this if Emmett's going to be right there? Won't he get suspicious?" I asked as he drove back.

"We actually got lucky this time. Emmett left with Alice and Jasper to go hunting last night. Jasper is hoping hunting will distract Alice for a while and Emmett just tagged along which made Rosalie go too" Edward said with a smile. "They should all be back tomorrow night. That should give us just the right amount of time to set up out little revenge" Edward said, smiling evilly.

"My gosh, this is going to be so funny" I said, nearly bouncing around in excitement. "Remind me to charge my camera tomorrow"

Edward nodded, a smile spreading across his face.

"You know, you look innocent but really you're this little devious devil on the inside" Edward laughed as he tickled my sides with one hand.

I began to jerk around as I tried to avoid his hand but he always got around me.

"No . . ." I trailed off in laughter

"You know I was kidding right," he said seriously as he stopped tickling me. "You're an angel inside and out" Edward said as we arrived and I scoffed slightly.

"I'm the angel? Angels are supposed to be beautiful and amazing and graceful. That is the opposite of me but I believe that describes you very well" I commented.

Edward got out and ran to my door. He opened it and in a second, I was outside, leaning against his Volvo. His deep butterscotch eyes bored deep into mine as he spoke.

"Bella, you're the most beautiful girl to have ever walked this planet. You're amazing in every way and just us being here, together with me, is proof of that. You accepted me, even though I'm a monster and always see the good in me.

And as for graceful . . . you are graceful in your own way, how you always see the best in everyone. You are truly my angel" he said and with that he leaned down and placed his lips on mine.

I knew I had to keep in control but obliviously my body didn't follow that notion. Blood boiled under my face as I secured my hands in his silky bronze locks. He kissed me passionately but sweetly at the same time, pouring his love into that one kiss.

After a second, he pulled away and this time we were both left gasping. He leaned his forehead on mine and smiled.

"I love you" he whispered.

"I love you" I said as I kissed him softly once more before pulling away. "Now come watch this angel get her hilarious revenge" I said as I headed towards the trunk and he laughed.

HE clicked his keys and the trunk opened to reveal our endless supplies. I grabbed as much as I could carry and headed inside. Edward followed right behind me, of course carrying everything else.

He would've tried to take the bags from me but he probably realized that I wouldn't let him make me feel that challenged. By some miracle, I didn't trip on my way to the house. I stumbled slightly at the door but that was it, which was a pretty good record for me. When we walked in, Carlisle and Esme were snuggling on the couch. When they saw all the supplies we were carrying, they became confused and quickly suspicious.

"Edward . . ." Carlisle trailed off, looking at him intently.

I noticed how Edward head turned slightly, as if to ward of his father's thoughts.

"We're just doing a little project" I covered.

I was never a good liar but this technically wasn't a lie so it came out somewhat decent.

"Since everyone else left and we're both done with homework, we have the weekend free . . . so, we're doing a project that we'll both enjoy greatly when it's completed" I said and smiled proudly at myself.

I didn't fail completely in my cover story. Carlisle raised a questioning eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"That's great that you two are working on a project together!" Esme said, always the motherly one. "DO you need any supplies?" she asked.

"No, we got it all" Edward said. "My room" he whispered to me and I nodded as I headed up.

I was just going for the first step up but I lifted my foot too early and stumbled down. Carlisle was already there to catch me but the bags fell to the floor, puffing out a cloud of white feathers.

"Thanks" I laughed as I tried to collect all the feathers. "Sorry" I muttered as I began packing the feathers off of his shirt.

He laughed and shook around, making the feathers slide down. I put them all back in the bag and headed back up again. I reached Edward room without further incident and dropped the bags on the floor.

It probably wasn't the best idea since feathers once again exploded everywhere. Edward laughed as he walking and set the bags down.

"I like the new decorations" he commented and I pouted which just made him laugh more. "Come on little Mrs. Pouty, let's go get you some lunch" he said as we headed down.

Esme already had a meal ready for me, grilled steak with potatoes and tomatoes.

"Thank you Esme, it looks delicious" I said as I sat down.

"So, what project are you guys working on" Esme asked and I stopped din mid bite, swallowing convulsively.

"Just a craft project Bella and I have been planning on doing for a while" Edward said vaguely.

A while = 1 day.

Esme let it go and went back outside to join Carlisle. I finished quickly, anxious to continue. We both went up to his room, making our ways through the feathers.

"Okay, let's figure out how we're going to do this" Edward said as he brought out a pen and a spiral notebook from his desk.

"Okay, first things first, did we get everything. I'll call out the things and you write them down" he proposed.

"You'd better write them down, your handwriting is so much better" I said and he nodded.

I started with all the market supplies which were easy. When we got to the hardware store supplies, I slowed down exponentially; I just didn't have any idea what I was holding in my hands. Edward would peak over and call it out with a laugh.

"Hardware supplies and me just don't go together" I muttered making him laugh harder.

Once we were sure we had everything, we began drawing up a blueprint. Everything had to fit together exactly or the whole mechanism would fail.


	36. Finishing Touches

Chapter 36:

Finishing Touches

"Are you sure that goes there?" I asked him.

"Bella, those are eraser markings" I said and blushed brightly at my stupidity. "Okay, we need to get building" I said and he nodded.

"The mechanical stuff has to be setup first" he said and I pouted but nodded.

We spent the remainder of the day building the main mechanism. I was actually able to help him! He would give me a screw and point to a spot and I would screw it in. It might seem stupid but I had never built anything in my life.

Besides, it gave us great quality time.

I loved watching his face as he concentrated intently on something. His face would tighten and his eyebrows would furrow at random intervals. Then he would looks up and when he saw me watching, he would relax and smile brightly as he kissed me.

After about 4 hours of this, he gave in and had me sit on his lap, unable to keep me farther away. I had secretly been wanting that since we started. I was in complete bliss. I would screw the screws in while Edward grabbed other parts and kept attaching them on.

I spent the rest of the time with his chest against my back, his arms reaching around me and his head resting on my shoulder. His hands worked right beside mine as we both built our little revenge machine.

HE would constantly brush his hand past mine purposefully and being playing with my fingers. We were by far the happiest revenge planners on the planet. At about 9pm, we gave in for the night. Instead of getting up though, Edward wrapped his arms around me, bringing me tightly against his chest.

"I love you" he murmured as he kissed my hair.

"I love you more" I countered and he laughed.

"Not possible" he argued and I rolled my eyes, completely disagreeing but knowing that I wouldn't get anywhere trying to convince him.

"You know, we did pretty good" I, staring at the contraption we built.

You couldn't really tell what it was yet, just this huge _thing_ made of metal, wood and screws.

"We did pretty good" he agreed. "Tomorrow we finished this up and prepare the more . . . theatrical aspects of you prank. Then, when they get home, it all comes together" he said evilly and I laughed as I stood.

"Come on" I said as I grabbed his hand and pulled him up.

I probably didn't pull him up but I'm just going to pretend I did.

"Bye Carlisle, Esme" I called as we headed towards the garage.

"Goodnight Sweetie" Esme called.

"Have a nice night Bella" Carlisle said.

"You too" I said as I climbed into the Volvo

The ride was short, as usual, but also quiet. It wasn't an awkward silence, just more like a thoughtful one. Charlie was still at Billy's so I just whipped up a simple grilled cheese sandwich and ate it as I headed up to my room. Once I finished it, I took my shower, washing the metal shavings off of my body. I was just adding my shampoo when the warm water decided to run out.

"Holy crap!" I yelled as I scrubbed my hair frantically.

I washed it off quickly and put conditioner in my hair. The water was quickly going from cold to freezing to practically like ice water. I finished as quickly as I could and jumped out of that torture, wrapping my towel as tight as I could around my body. I dressed in my warm pajamas and brushed all the cold droplets out of my hair. Once I was done, I practically ran from my bathroom to under the covers of my bed.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked as he lay on top of the covers, wrapping them around my shivering body.

"Water . . . warm . . . freezing . . . so cold" I trialed off and he laughed as he brushed my hair out of my eyes.

Between everything that happened and that I did today, my body slowly wore itself out and I found my eyelids getting heavy not too soon after.

"Okay, so what's on the checklist for today?" I asked as I ate breakfast, already at Edward's house.

"Well, first, we have to finish the machines and hang them up" he said and I nodded. "Then, we have to fill up all the canisters and cannons with our supplies. Finally, we have to wait until they get home to add the finally touches" he said and I nodded as I washed off my plate.

"Then let's get to work"

We headed up to his room and got into the same position as yesterday before we got started. Mostly, I did the same thing, screw in screw and hammer in nails, I just really couldn't do anything else. At about 2 o'clock, all the machines were built.

"Now to fill them up" I said.

"I put the feathers in front of my bed" Edward said as he added the finishing touches and I nodded as I went over and grabbed them. I suddenly got a devious idea, making me smirk brightly. I grabbed the feathers and walked normally back to Edward but instead of putting the feathers down, I tilted the bag over, causing all the feathers to shower down on him. He jumped, startled, and then growled playfully.

"Oh, so you think this is funny?" he asked ad he jumped on top of me, showering r me with feathers as well.

He brought his arms down, caging me on the floor.

"Well, if you think this is sooo funny" he whispered as he leaned down.

I thought he was going to kiss me but at the last second, he pulled back and his hands went to my side, vibrating at inhuman speed.

"_OH MY GOD! No .NO… NO! Stop!" _I yelled between my laughs.

He vibrated faster for a second longer before stopping completely. I collapsed on the ground, gasping. He chuckled softly as he took me into his arms as I tried to get my breath back.

"Look at my room" he muttered and I looked to see that in our little session, we had made feathers fly everywhere, making his room look like it had snowed.

He got up and flew around the room, colleting all the feathers and then dumping them on top of me.

"Now were even" he chuckled and I rolled my eyes as I plucked the feathers out of my hair and loaded them into the cannon. We emptied all the feathers evenly between the two cannons, tucking them away tightly so they weren't noticeable.

"How in the world are we going to hang this up with Carlisle and Esme walking around the house?" I asked as he set the cannons with his remotes and motion sensors.

"Well, they're currently busy with other . . . activities . . . so we should be good for an hour" he said, laughing at my expression.

"Come on, let's get started" he said as he grabbed the big contraption.

I followed after him with the ladder and the drill.

"Wait, won't his weight bring the whole thing down?" I asked as I walked, very carefully, down the stair.

"It would normally but Esme had the roof remade a while ago. There is a layer of wall but behind that is metal" he explained and my mouth dropped. He just shrugged. "She got tired of always have to set a new foundation for the roof every time we demolished it so she just got a huge metal plate inserted. That way, if anything happens, it'll ruin the wall but not the metal base, it really just makes it easier to fix" he said.

I opened up the ladder, cautious not to walk under it in anyway.

"Afraid of walking under a ladder?" Edward asked a smile on his face.

"I'm not very superstitious but it's just to be safe, I don't need more bad luck on top of mine" I said which cause his smile to morph into a full blown laugh as he pulled me into his arms.

"Oh Bella" he said as he shook with laughter. "Let me climb up and then, just toss me the drill" he said and I nodded excitedly.

Here I was, with my amazing _fiancé, _building our amazing prank for Emmett and we were going to get away with it completely . . . oh the joys of revenge.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey GUys! I just barely have time to upload this so I'm not going to right out this long authors note. Quick Version:**

**PLease Review! You get cookies (3)**

_**IMPORTANT FOR ALL READERS!**_

_**i WILL NOT BE UPDATING NEXT WEEK BECAUSE I HAVE SEMSTER EXAMS AND I HAVE TO STUDY A LOT SO I'M NOT DEDICATING ANYTIME AT ALL TO WRITTING CHAPTERS**_**. Sorry, but school comes first**

**Luv YA!**

**JMFanficQueen**


	37. The Start of a Very Sweet Revenge

Chapter 37:

The Start Of A Very Sweet Revenge

After about half an hour of drilling and hammering, the main contraption was up.

"That should do it" he said as he climbed down.

"How did they not hear all the noise we were making and come down?" I whispered to him.

"Well, by their thoughts" he said and then shuddered violently. "They're _very _busy" he said and I blushed brightly.

"Oh" I said.

I looked up at it and then I thought about something else.

"Won't he get suspicious when he sees that . . . _thing" _asked, waving at the contraption.

"No" Edward said as he closed the ladder. "Because, it looks just like a fan" he said.

"A fan?" I asked.

I tilted my head this way and that but all I could see was a complicated piece of machinery.

"Do you mean like an old antique fan?" I asked.

"No" he laughed. "Like a normal fan"

He pushed a small red button on his remote and the whole thing transformed in front of my eyes in mere seconds. My mouth dropped open. When did we program it to do that? I looked at it suddenly and my eyes widened.

"Oh my god" I said.

Now, it actually looked like a fan, a regular old ceiling fan.

"See, a fan" Edward said. "You didn't think I would just leave that thing there it would ruin everything" he said as he came over and softly closed my mouth with his finger. "Now come on, Carlisle and Esme will be busy for a while but _they'll _be home soon" Edward said with a chuckle as he headed to grab the cannon.

I followed after him, helping him set it up. Together, we managed to get everything set and just in time.

"They're on their way" Edward said as we placed the last bag. "Come on" he said and together, we grabbed the bag of 'after' props and stashed them in his room before heading down to the couch.

"Won't have Alice seen this?" I asked as I sat on Edward's lap.

"She probably did" he said.

At my confused look, he added: "She's probably so miserable and angry right now that she's turned on Emmett and probably can't wait to him fall for the prank" Edward whispered just as I heard the garage open.

I snuggled up against Edward pretending to be asleep and burying my face in his chest so I might not smile and give something away. Edward had already explained what would probably happen. They would get home and split. Jasper would do something with Alice while Rosalie and Emmett will probably run up to their room for their mid-afternoon activity.

That's where our whole plan will start . . .

"I'M HOME!" Emmett yelled as he came in.

"Emmett, shut up!" I heard Edward whisper furiously and I had to force back my smile.

This was working too well. I could almost see all their eyes on me as they took in the fact that I was _'asleep'_, which consequently made me blush down to my neck. Luckily, it was all hidden by Edward's shirt. I tried to slow my breathing down as much as possible to make it seem like I was actually sleeping. After a second, it seemed that my acting paid off because Emmett spoke so soft I could barely make out his words; which meant her really thought I was asleep.

"We'll be in our room so, don't disturb us" he whispered.

In my mind, I could almost see him wiggling his eyebrows and Edward looking back in disgust. I heard a soft rustle and, a couple seconds later, _thumps. _I shuddered and tried to block my mind from even starting to think about what they were doing.

"You're not a very good actor" I voice said, scaring me so much, I swear my heart stopped.

I jumped and my arm flailed around me as I sat up and, in the process, I somehow managed to slap a wall.

"Ow" I muttered furiously as I looked at me bruised hand.

I looked up for the culprit and saw Jasper and Alice staring down at me. I opened my mouth to ask but Edward beat me to it.

"You slapped Jasper across his mouth" he said in amusement.

"You have a hard face" I muttered as I cradled my hand. "Sorry" I added as an afterthought, even though I knew I couldn't have possibly hurt him.

All three of them laugh at me as Edward grabbed my hand softly; his cool hands relieve the throbbing.

"Bella, you realize you hurt yourself more that you could've even possible hurt me" Jasper said with a laugh and I nodded begrudgingly.

"Your heart rate was still too fast and you blushed" Alice commented as she sat on the carpet. "But they didn't notice cause their thoughts were elsewhere" she said. "But of course, I know" she said, smiling evilly as she tapped her forehead.

"What's going on here?" Jasper asked, frowning.

"You'll see" Edward said as he helped me up.

Together, with Alice and Jasper trailing behind, we headed up to where we had stashed our 'after' props.

"We're pranking Emmett" Edward said to Jasper's unspoken question.

"This is not going to end well" he said.

"Of course it will, and if it doesn't, Bella and I are so innocent, especially after our last . . . _session"_ Edward said, his voice venomous on that word "That we'll let off easy" Edward shrugged as he brought out the honey and the ramp. "Come on"

Alice helped me attach the ramp to the stairs while the boys worked on the honey lake. Once it was attached, they tossed us a bag filled with honey jars and we got to work. After about 20 minutes, the whole trap was setup.

"Yes" I said, giddy with excitement and anticipation.

"Jasper, get me the gasoline from my room will you" Edward said.

"What" he asked alarmed "Edward . . ."

"I'm not going to burn the house down Jasper, seriously, it's for the skateboard.

Edward put the skateboard at the top of the stairs, armed the traps, and then headed to Emmett door. He knocked loudly four times before calling out:

"EMMETT, I THINK YOUR JEEP IS ON FIRE!"

"**WHAT!**" he shrieked from inside and in the next second, his door flew off its hinges.

"Emmett!" I heard Rosalie screech from inside his room. "ARE THOSE MY _**NEW JEANS**__**?**_**"**

He had on a pair of jeans that were way too tight on him and were already ripping and a white t-shirt that was inside out and backwards as well. His hair was crazy which complimented the crazed look in his eyes nicely.

He went to run forward and slammed head first into a metal wall, in which he left a nice imprint. The metal wall then swung back as a metal pole popped up behind him, knocking him off of his feet. They metal wall pushed him back to the front of the staircase.

"What—" just as he was getting up, a big boxing glove popped out of the metal plate in the wall and hit him straight in the chest.

It didn't make him fly back but did make him loose his balance. He fell back on the honey covered skateboard just as a huge tub of honey tilted over above him, completely dousing him in honey. The skateboard then, propelled forward by the engine, began rocketing down the ramp/staircase.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! HOw've you been! It's been a while, two weeks. :O it's the end of the world! AHhaahha! MErry Belated CHristmas to all you who celebrate it and for those who don't, Happy Holidays and Happy NEw YEar. Hopefully next year will bring a fresh start for all of us but at the same time keep allt he old memories alive. Anywho, what did you think? After all this planning and finally, the prank has come! I knoe I kept you waiting but hey, it's my style. Anyways, Like I said before, I'm going to try to wrap this story up in a couple more chapter because because I have this habit of extending them _forever. :D_**

**To my BFFL Nessie96, your gift is almost done and it won't be long until you can get it so be patient!**

**HAPPY HOLIDAY AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!  
**

**Luv Ya!**

**JMFanficQueen**


	38. La Createur Chickie

Chapter 38:

_La_ C_réateur Chickie_

Emmett tried various times to get up but the honey and moving skateboard made it practically impossible to do anything so he just settled with yelling profanities at Edward at the top of his lungs.

As he propelled down the stairs, he was constantly showered with bucketfuls of feathers or random tuffs of feathers shooting out of the cannons. They were getting everywhere and even though he was yelling profanities half of the time.

The other half of the time, he was chocking on feathers.

Watching this whole plan unfold, after so many hours of planning, pushed me over the brink. Some small wire snapped in my brain and suddenly, I was on the floor, laughing so hard I was literally vibrating.

I was joined almost instantly by Alice, Jasper and Edward; even Rosalie couldn't hold back her laugh. Even though we had interrupted her activities, she just couldn't, it was just too hilarious.

I felt my entire frame shaking and the laughter peeled through me. I struggled to lean on the stair's banister and actually keep my eyes open so I could see the best part of the whole plan unfold.

Once he hit the bottom of the stairs, another ramp, which would propel him upward, was waiting. He hit it at top speed and flew up towards the 'fan'. Somewhere between his laughing fit, Edward managed to hit the button that transformed the 'fan' into the actual contraption which we called _La_ C_réateur Chickie._

Translation: The Chickie Creator

Emmett, who was now covered on every single available surface by fluffy white feathers, flew up into the machine. At first, it would seem he got stuck but actually, the machine snapped around him, locking him into place in a cage built just for him out of very strong metals and woods.

The way the cage locked around him, it almost looked like he was spread out on the ground. His arms were extended out though his legs were together in the back. Once he was securely trapped and screaming so many profanities that I didn't even know existed, Edward pressed the chicken button on the remote.

Instantly, a high tech beak mask snapped onto his face and chicken feathers got super glued to the back of his underwear, since his . . . well, Rose's jeans, were practically nonexistent now.

The part of the cage that encased his arms activated itself and began moving up and down. Emmett's yelling got louder but all that came out because of the filter was angry _clucking._

Feathers began to rain down as Emmett's contraption moved slowly back and forth on the ceiling. Finally seeing the whole thing come together was just hilarious. Emmett looked like a very angry chickie on steroids flying through the air.

I realized that in the process of laughing, I had fallen all over the honey and the feathers were sticking to me like nails on a magnet up I didn't care. This was just too hilarious.

Somewhere between my laughing fits, I saw Edward take out a video camera and I remembered I had my camera and somehow managed to take it out and take pictures. Though I can describe this in great detail, the whole thing happened in mere seconds. And just seconds later, things started going wrong.

"What is going on in here!" Carlisle yelled loudly as he and Esme came out of their room.

We all froze as he saw the scene before him but of course, with my luck, things only got worse. He unknowingly walked in front of the wall that activated the whole prank and that pretty much when things went from hilarious to horrible.

A spare skateboard popped out behind Carlisle and the boxing glove hit him straight in the chest. HE was so surprised, he fell back completely and began racing down the ramp while being doused with the extra feathers and honey.

"No!" I squealed just as he reached the ramp.

He flew up and collided with Emmett with an earth shattering _clash! _The whole machine shuddered and swiftly fell to the ground. Luckily, Edward somehow managed to throw a couple extra blocks of woods on the floor so it didn't completely demolish it.

All our mouths were hanging open as we realized that everything had been perfect not 3 seconds ago. I quickly made my was over to where Edward, Alice, Jasper and Rose were standing. They were leaning over the railing on the second floor, watching he whole thing fall apart.

When I got there, Edward immediately pulled me into the circle of his arms. Both his hands were resting on the railing, his chest against my back and the railing against my stomach.

As we watched, Carlisle stood up and spit a glob of honey out of his mouth.

"Well, I highly doubt he'll want to go back to what he was going now" Alice whispered and we all had to stifle out laughter.

Of course, that laughter completely disappeared when we caught sight of the look on Carlisle's face. HE opened his mouth, probably to rebuke us, but was interrupted by outraged clucking.

He turned to see a very angry Emmett standing up and struggling to stop his arm from moving back and forth with the contraption. At this point, our laughter came back but in a wave so hard that none of us could hold it back.

Even Esme and Carlisle chuckled despite themselves. Finally, Emmett seemed to remember that he was a very strong vampire and in a single flex of his muscles, the whole thing exploded into a million pieces.

Once his arms were free, he ripped off the clucking mask and began loudly and colorfully swearing at us. At some point, he said:

"I'm going to murder all of you!" and flew up the stairs.

There was a suddenly ripping sound and my whole world went black. It took me a second to realize Edward had put his hand over my eyes.

"Emmett! Put something on!" I heard Edward yell above all the laughter.

I suddenly realized what must've happened and couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips. I felt a slight wind and then I could see again, just in time to see Emmett, clad in a pair of shorts, running towards us.

Event though he already looked terrifying, his lack of shirt showed off the fact that he was seriously built which knocked dup the terror level another 2 points. The scream had just begun building in my throat when suddenly Edward launched me over the banister.

The surprise knocked the breath right out of me, canceling out the scream. Alice was under me instantaneously, catching me. Though, her rigid frame promised bruises for me later.

Just as Alice caught me, Emmett collided with Edward. The impact shook the whole banister and the part Edward was leaning on cracked, sending both boys down. Alice got me out of the way just as they slammed into the pile of honey and feathers.

"Think that was funny?" Emmett said as the rolled around.

"Why don't you tell me _cluckie_?" he answered which just enraged Emmett more.

"Boys, BOYS!" Carlisle yelled as he ran over to them.

He pulled Edward off of Emmett and to his feet. Emmett jumped up immediately but stopped when he saw Carlisle. It was a tense moment and I of course, had to laugh. I didn't want to and I was trying t hold it back with everything I had but here was Carlisle, Edward and Emmett completely covered in honey, feathers sticking to every inch of their bodies. They looked like a complete chicken family.

"I'm sorry" I managed to get out as I laughed.

I could hear Alice laughing right next to me and could see Jasper chuckling. Carlisle though, silenced my laughter with just one short question.

"What just happened here?"

* * *

**A/N **

**Heys Guys, I really just barely have time to put up this chapter so I won't be long. I would just like to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR! Yeah, its 2011 for all you slow ones. I hope you liked the prank that has finally been building up for so long, I'm pretty sure most of you saw it coming but it was nice anyways.**

**Luv Ya!**

**JMFAnficQueen**


	39. Honey Battle

Chapter 39:

Honey Battle

The house was deadly silent after his question. It seemed almost as if someone had pressed pause during a movie. None of us said a word or moved an inch. The only things that were moving were the few feathers that were still falling. My eyes began to itch and water but I just couldn't make myself blink.

"What happened here?" he repeated again, his voice calm but with that undertone that all parents carry.

"I'll tell you what happened, all of them" Emmett said, motioning to us "Covered me in honey, stuck feathers all over me and then launched me into that stupid machine"

"Technically, you fell into the honey, the feathers fell on top of you and the skateboard flew you up into the machine" Edward pointed out.

Emmett faced morphed into rage as he picked up a huge glob of honey and launched it at Edward. Edward moved just in time, the honey barely grazing his ear but of course, the only person behind Edward had to be Carlisle.

The honey hit him straight on, splattering all over his face. Everyone fell silent again, including Emmett, as Carlisle slowly wiped the honey off of his face. He rubbed his forehead once before opening his eyes.

"I don't even know where to start" he said.

"What do you mean, ground them for a year!" Emmett yelled.

"Emmett, you've pranked all of us 100 times and have broken about 2,000 precious items of Esme's and you get scolded and grounded for maybe a week. Does what you said really make sense?" Jasper asked.

"So" Emmett said, jutting out his chin which made me roll my eyes.

"First of all, where in the world did all this honey come from?" Carlisle asked, looking at Alice.

"IT wasn't me, I had nothing to do with this prank" she stammered. "I swear on all my clothes!" she yelled.

"It, umm, came from the grocery store . . . the honey I mean" I stammered.

Carlisle turned to me, his eyes surprised. I blushed brightly under his gaze and began fidgeting. Of course, that causes me to move my foot which always wants to just keep moving past the ground. I slipped on all the honey and landed face first in it, honey splattering over me and into my hair.

"Bella!" Edward was at my side immediately, helping me up.

"I'm fine" I said, wiping the feathers and honey out of my eyes. "Ugh, this feels disgusting" I said, motioning to the slimy yet sticky honey.

"You were involved in this too . . . you devious little devil!" Emmett said, surprised as well. "You make everyone think you're innocent by always tripping and providing constant entertainment but you're really an evil mastermind!" he said causing all of us to roll our eyes.

Suddenly, an idea hit me.

"Honestly Emmett, I am innocent. I would've never thought about doing this if it wasn't because of Dr. Mental" I said, looking pointedly at Carlisle.

"Yeah, and what are the chances that I would've kidnapped a psychotic therapist if I had never met him in the first place!" Alice chimed.

We all turned to him and he seemed deep in thought.

"Okay, you guys aren't grounded" he said finally.

"WHAT! What type of justice is that!" Emmett yelled.

"I believe its fair justice. For one, Jasper has a point; you're constantly pranking them and breaking things. Besides, Bella is the sweetest, smartest, most innocent girl I have ever met so I highly doubt she or Edward for that matter, would do this whole thing" he said motioning to everything.

"Without a seriously valid reason for doing. Though, they shouldn't have gone this far" he said, eyeing us until we dropped our eyes. "You didn't play fair back at the therapist's office either. I believe you mortified Bella beyond the human possible rate" he said making my face burn once more.

"And, though you may think differently Emmett, I do not enjoy grounding you guys, I would frankly prefer not have to so yes, they are not grounded" Carlisle said causing Emmett to pout noticeably.

"Oh, and I've seriously just about had it with honey so if I ever see this substance again" he said, picking up a glob of it. "In our house, there better be a seriously valid reason or there will be consequences" he said making us all laugh even though he was, in a way, threatening us lightly.

"Besides Emmett, I can't ground Bella, she's not my daughter . . . yet" he added causing me to smile. "_But,_" he said, causing my smile to disappear. "They do though, have to clean up the whole house, I want it spotless" he said to us and we nodded.

That was totally justified. As I looked around though, I realized it could take a very long time to clean. Honey was covering every single surface and even dripping from the roof. The feathers . . . I don't even know how they got in some places but this was going to be a very long clean-up job.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to attempt to get all this honey off" Carlisle said as he walked upstairs.

"Why, you look so sweet" Jasper called causing us to laugh, including Esme.

Carlisle rolled his eyes slightly but couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips to as he headed dup the final flight of stairs.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, you better get me a new pair of jeans tomorrow or so help me god I'll withhold sex for a week" Rosalie called from the banister.

"WHAT!" He yelled his mouth dropping. "Come on Rose, it was an accident!" he yelled as he ran up.

We all snickered as we heard his pleading echoing through the house.

"THIS IS YOUR fault!" Emmett yelled but then whispered at the end as he remembered Carlisle and Esme.

He leaned down and scooped up a glob of honey, launching it at Edward. This time, Edward wasn't fast enough and it hit him straight on.

"So, that's how you want it" he said but his voice wasn't really angry and he hurtled a glob at Emmett.

Emmett ducked just in time and it hit Alice.

"I just bought this blouse!" she whisper-yelled as she launched honey at Edward.

Somehow, that projectile hit me instead.

And then, not just 30 seconds after they almost got grounded, all the Cullen kids broke into a honey fight. I didn't even try to launch any honey; I would just end up on the floor, hit with honey before my projectile even got close. So, I had to do fit with hiding and running to try to avoid honey globs. At some point, Carlisle and Esme came down but when they saw the fight going on, they rolled their eyes and laughed before heading back up.

"You guys better clean all of this up later!" Carlisle called through the house.

The fight lasted about an hour more before it stopped, with everyone covered in feathers and honey.

"Well, now you guys get to graciously clean this up" Emmett said as he headed inside the room to get cleaned up.

"Emmett! STAY OFF THE CARPET AND AWAY FROM THE BED . . . I SWEAR IF YOU HUG ME I WILL PERSONALLY CASTRATE YOU—" Rose's yelling was cut off by a sequel, laughter and then pounding.

"Come one love, we better get started" Edward said as he came back with huge metal tubs.

I nodded as I began shoveling the honey off the floor and into the tub closest to me. Edward took care of the more complicated areas and it took us only about an hour to get all the big globs of honey out of the way. Of course, Alice and Jasper disappeared just when we started, offering no help what so ever.

"You know, even with how things turned out, I don't regret doing this. It was so funny" I said as I laughed.

"You silly girl" Edward said as he wrapped his arms around me but he was laughing too.

Edward took apart all the machines while I began mopping the house to get all of the sticky honey off of the floor. I was pretty quick at it, having cleaned up the house for a majority of my life. When Edward finished, he helped me quickly finish and in no time, we were done.

"Ugh, now I have to go home and somehow attempt to get all of this honey out of my hair.

"It'll take you over 2 hours Bella, trust me!" Alice yelled through the house and I groaned.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hey Guys! So what did you think? ONly a scarce number of chapters left and this story will be complete, oh it almost bring tears to my eyes. Like litterally, I was reading through this story and I was crying from laughing so hard. Oh, the glory of comedy. **

**Luv Ya!**

**JMFanficQueen**


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